Tired of waiting

[farakini]

It feels like time is slowing down, the closer I get to ctb. I'm so bored and frustrated. I've also been thinking that when I die, if my soul just ceases to exist, then it wouldn't matter what I missed out on. I wouldn't have any memories of the pain suffering that I've been through here in the physical world. I kinda feel like that's what should happen. Just eternal sleep…no consciousness whatsoever….like I never existed in the first place.

 

[FuneralCry]

I strongly believe that we cease to exist after we leave this world and this thought has always brought me so much comfort. I just want to forget about this life and sleep for all eternity. When we die we simply return to the same nothingness where we were at before we were born with not even the awareness that we are dead. There could never be anything more ideal than non existence. Our lives can be very tiring and painful, yet so meaningless and insignificant. As humans we only exist just to die and be forgotten about, it's our inevitable fate.
I wish you freedom.

 

[Nirrend]

It feels like time is slowing down, the closer I get to ctb. I'm so bored and frustrated. I've also been thinking that when I die, if my soul just ceases to exist, then it wouldn't matter what I missed out on. I wouldn't have any memories of the pain suffering that I've been through here in the physical world. I kinda feel like that's what should happen. Just eternal sleep…no consciousness whatsoever….like I never existed in the first place.

I'm very sorry

You are suffering a lot and this downward spiral in which life is unbearable and the waiting to ctb make it worse. But at the same time, realising sometimes homme much little time is left can make people afraid or happy

I hear your despair, I understand your sadness so much. Especially since the season doesn't make it easy either.

Life is cruel but we love you here, you are not alone.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you love and peace

Loving you sweet @farakini ❤❤❤

 

[lifeORdeath]

I don't know if my spiral is reality or not, but the potential outcomes are bad enough that's I mentally spiral towards worst case scenario, in fear, sorrow and disgust in myself

 

[farakini]

I don't know if my spiral is reality or not, but the potential outcomes are bad enough that's I mentally spiral towards worst case scenario, in fear, sorrow and disgust in myself

I used to do that because ppl were so negative towards me, even when I was a beaming with light and so positive…..now I'm still quite positive, but I'm lonely and I'm tired of life, so it feels pointless to even try and do something with it.

 

[lifeORdeath]

It has been real enough to me I cma vividly picture the future.it wakes me up with nightmares and I can't go back to sleep.

 

[makethepainstop]

Waiting is so tiresome. Waiting for love, money.....once you figure out that you are NOT get what you want. The rest gets easier.

 

[universe]

I don't know if my opinion can help you, but waiting for the CTB is synonymous with ambivalence for me. At the same time I've been waiting for this for years and years. Waiting weeks or even months seems so long to me. I always thought I was going to die from CTB. I now believe that is my destiny. I don't know if another ending would have been possible. I tell myself that in any case, it must be done one day because if it is not today, it will be in 5 years, 10 years.

I have the method and everything you need to implement it. It's as if I had finally reached my goal and yet I'm still in this world. It's hard to set a date, and the body can react physically. The end of life remains difficult: suddenly we begin to feel guilt, to think that it may be a little hasty, that God may exist. It's hard to know that you're going to die soon and you still have to keep getting up. And since no one knows, it's not like we're terminally ill with cancer and people are cool with us. That one could do anything and everything before dying. No, we must face this alone and until the end life will be to suffer us. I thought this to myself this week: Someone refused to sell me cocaine on the grounds that he likes me and drugs aren't good. I wanted to yell at him that I was going to die. soon and wanted to enjoy it a bit.

Both the CTB is a relief, but at the same time, it also means suffering until the end. I wish you a lot of courage, and send you all my prayers. You look like you've been in a lot of pain.

 

[farakini]

You are absolutely right about me being in a lot of pain…emotional pain and I've had to heal from it all alone because no one cares about me. They only turned to me when they have their problems and need someone to offload their burdens. I'm tired of everyone. I fail at everything I try, so I'm done with this. I'm not even scared anymore. I'll be drinking my SN at 12am sharp this Sunday. Nothing will stop me.

 

[Dead Meat]

I really want to wish you @farakini a very pleasant and comfortable journey and may you have everlasting peace and tranquility you so richly deserve you Beautiful Soul

 

[farakini]

I really want to wish you @farakini a very pleasant and comfortable journey and may you have everlasting peace and tranquility you so richly deserve you Beautiful Soul

Thank you so much.