Tired of being a loser.

[HeyWatchThis]

Fucked my life up, 6 months sober. Have no money and keep getting rejected from bs jobs. I'm back in school and I'm the old guy. All I have are my mom and dog, that I depend on. Would love to date but once again I'm broke with allot of baggage and don't want to drag another poor soul into my shit life. Lexapro and Valium aren't working. I hate being outside, get anxiety attacks. I can't go another 30-40 years like this. Don't want to hurt mom and dog and I'm afraid of being a ghost in our apartment. I'm considering ctb out in the woods somewhere, or jumping off bridge with weights as I'll probably survive, thoughts?

 

[NoStanding]

Congrats on 6 months sober by the way. I feel you with the job situation, honestly it took me so long to find even a part time. I'm not sure about your location, but around where I am from, a lot of companies just hire younger people because they are cheaper to employ.

Being the old guy in school doesn't matter. I'm also classed as a "mature student" in school and I have seen a lot of older people there too. It's not a bad thing, it's just some people change their interests.

I feel like you could pick yourself up again but that depends on how much you want to. Anyhow, I wish you the best with whatever you choose to do.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Fucked my life up, 6 months sober. Have no money and keep getting rejected from bs jobs. I'm back in school and I'm the old guy. All I have are my mom and dog, that I depend on. Would love to date but once again I'm broke with allot of baggage and don't want to drag another poor soul into my shit life. Lexapro and Valium aren't working. I hate being outside, get anxiety attacks. I can't go another 30-40 years like this. Don't want to hurt mom and dog and I'm afraid of being a ghost in our apartment. I'm considering ctb out in the woods somewhere, or jumping off bridge with weights as I'll probably survive, thoughts?

Hello @HeyWatchThis,
I'm so sorry that you feel like a loser.
You are feeling like you are sinking into abyss
And death is ever be closer.

I can't give you any advice
Because it would be of no use.
If I were you I wouldn't give up vice
And become a recluse.

But now you don't drink
And aren't a shut-in.
All I can do is praying,
And believe in you, I think.

Don't want to hurt mom and dog and I'm afraid of being a ghost in our apartment.

This is why I think you are not a hopeless case. When I'm in my lowest point, I didn't care about my loved ones. I even didn't care about going blind, so I ingested a poisonous substance which could render me blind in an attempt to CTB. Of course, only you know how hopeless you feel, so if I'm misunderstanding you please let me know

I wish you the best and I believe who decide what is the best, is you

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's awful and tiring feeling trapped in an existence that you hate, it's true that existing really is so dreadful and that there's no real relief from suffering in this world. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.