Thread for the lonely

[lovedread]

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

 

[LastNite]

Before my dumb attempt I could go years without any actual conversations. Just simple ones like hey come eat or hey take out the garbage. I dont got friends and never had any. I spent all my years at school sitting alone and I could go weeks of absences and the teachers wouldnt notice theyd only do so when I dont get in my homework. Believe it or not I gotten marked plenty of times as present when I wasn't lol. Now my parents do check up on me but thats only because they heard of what I did and even then my father seems annoyed and embarrassed about it because his religious and cultural beliefs comes first.

 

[cait_sith]

I don't really envy people for having people in their lives that they would hurt with their choice but at the same time it reminds me how freakish it actually is if someone has literally nobody in their life like how it's in my case. even on a forum like this I am an absolute outlier for having no one in my life, including no relatives that are all dead. Most people can't even gasp that a person would exsist that has nobody, I remember back when I was in school many years ago and there was the topic about suicide as a famous footballplayer recently committed and one girl said, that I think is how most people think "Suicide is always bad because everybody has somebody in their lives that would be sad", like it's basically a fundamental law of human exsistance that nobody deviates from, that everybody has somebody, and being reminded by that here hurts a lot. It's also bad to see that people who are able to maintain and have relationships and friendships still want to die, how am I supposed to live then if I can't get these basic things of existence

 

[thedevilwithin]

completely get you. everyone and everything just feels distant.

 

[bankai]

Try not to be envious, but would honestly kill to have what some of the people on here have. Says a lot when even people on a suicide forum have a better life than you.

The people on here have extremely different situations, I've noticed that as well. I mean, some people have it much harder than others. I've seen some posts about horrific abuse and trauma. I've been numb for some time after reading that. And I realized that my own situation isn't that bad at all. But my situation is still horrific. I'm actually well settled and financially able and can travel,eat nice food and game and do all of those things, but I cannot feel any joy anymore. So where do I go from here? Every day is pointless. And I don't see anywhere to go from here. That being said, life is good in the sense I have the benchmark of a good life.It just doesn't bring me joy though, and that's terrible because then nothing else is really going to do it.

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

Interestingly, I have a lot of friends from school and college. But I'm utterly alone at this point because all of them have left the country and gone elsewhere for jobs and settled down.The only places I go to are my office for work and the gym. No social life or clubbing, nor do I want to do that kind of stuff. I'm not really sure about meeting new people at this stage as an adult. I don't make friends easily anymore like I did in school or college.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

This thread really has me thinking about how lonely I used to be. It has sort of put into perspective how long I have went without real human connection that it has become normalized and has seemingly no effect on me anymore.

I used to spent most of my time depressed envious of others ability to enjoy human to human contact, but slowly I have lost touch with that desire, and it has instead been replaced by a resentment of such people, how could people actually enjoy friendships, how can they look past all the bad, and pretend that there is only good to be found.

It just seems so alien to me, like observing the culture or traditions of an uncontacted tribe, and projecting your modern values onto, with all the confusion of why they act in such a way, why they do things that seemingly only you have an understanding of why it's wrong.

 

[bankai]

just seems so alien to me, like observing the culture or traditions of an uncontacted tribe,

Off topic I know, but I just came across this article where this guy tried to reach the uncontacted tribe. He could have wiped them out.
Apparently trying to contact them is illegal because everyone who has contacted them has been killed in the past. Also, since they are not vaccinated against diseases that we are vaccinated against, they have no immunity towards them. So you can wipe them out by making contact with them.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/04/world/asia/north-sentinel-island-us-man-arrested.html

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Off topic I know, but I just came across this article where this guy tried to reach the uncontacted tribe. He could have wiped them out.
Apparently trying to contact them is illegal because everyone who has contacted them has been killed in the past. Also, since they are not vaccinated against diseases that we are vaccinated against, they have no immunity towards them. So you can wipe them out by making contact with them.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/04/world/asia/north-sentinel-island-us-man-arrested.html

https://history.howstuffworks.com/world-history/north-sentinel-island.htm
Yeah They have always interested me, they always seemed like a case study for how human civilizations are built or rather what they are like prior to "civilizing", there are a whole bunch of them scattered all over the world: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncontacted_peoples most of them seem to live in jungle or islands. Really interesting stuff!

 

[sambrosia]

And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal.

Ugh I feel you so hard on this. I didn't try committing suicide proper, but I kinda did metaphorically by basically having a public mental breakdown. No former friends talk to me and I'm not involved in any of the extracurricular stuff I used to do, so my life is super limited and lonely. And I used to complain and feel badly before, but now it's actually bad.

Sigh.

Wish I could go back in time.

I am sorry you're dealing with this. I also agree with your sentiment about maybe having friends would curb some of the suicidality. Like Amy Winehouse in Rehab, "I just need a friend."

 

[Renato]

When I read threads about not hurting people close to us I always think about relatives at first. As soon as I understand that they are talking about significant others I usually get reassured that I have objectively strong reasons for my desire to leave: from a biological standpoint we are not meant to live completely alone and this is breaking my spirit way more than I could have anticipated in the past.

The contact list on my phone is so embarassingly short that I refrain from opening it in public as if it was some nsfw stuff...

 

[usernamesarehard]

I have a best friend and a large family. So large I'm sure there are some in my family that wouldn't be affected by my death because they don't really know me. Maybe they've heard of my name but I don't/ haven't talked to them.

Yeah there definitely would be a lot of people who would be sad about my death. Doesn't change much of anything though. I love a lot of them, but not enough to live for them.

I'm sorry you have no one. It's really sad that whether you have people who would care or not is entirely up to luck.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option.

Yes, exactly the same for me. If I had people who genuinely enjoyed my company and wanted me around, that would make me significantly less suicidal (though maybe not completely quell the urge).

 

[adoptedpain]

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

I relate to this sentiment as it resonates so deeply with me. Also need a real person to share and communicate with as therapy, medication, and alternative medicine treatments lack the power of human connection to feel understood compared to judged by others- trying to pm/dm, am unsure and would like to connect so I can communicate authentically with others who understand a deep internal pain. Possible ways out, however seeks to be progressing in a negative trend. Please reach out if you are a real
Human looking for genuine judgment free discussions.

 

[darksouls]

I never had human friends
only my pets gave me love
my family abused me
that is why I moved far away
I have no social contacts

 

[Pluto]

 

[orcapythia]

I feel understood, I thought I was really weird for this. I can't get normal people who say they feel awful with a loving partner and friends. It makes me feel bad because I am aware my empathy is gone from the isolation.

It just seems so alien to me, like observing the culture or traditions of an uncontacted tribe, and projecting your modern values onto, with all the confusion of why they act in such a way, why they do things that seemingly only you have an understanding of why it's wrong.

This is put really well

 

[katara]

I feel understood, I thought I was really weird for this. I can't get normal people who say they feel awful with a loving partner and friends. It makes me feel bad because I am aware my empathy is gone from the isolation.

This is put really well

Thank you for saying this! I can't stand the normal people on here I wish they'd get insta banned and it could be just ppl like us. I think I'd be more likely to improve my situation and get out of here if it wasn't for the normal ppl taking up space. Like I don't want to hear about how fun college is or how your parents care about you SHUT UP. They are brats, I'm with you

 

[Michelstaedter]

Well, I feel sad for those who, even with friends, partners, or family, want to commit suicide and do so, because I can imagine the pain they felt, enough to make that decision. I admit that I did feel a certain amount of envy before, or I immediately discredited their impulse to die, but deep down, I always knew that existential pain is more agonizing than that, so much so that someone who supposedly has "everything" wants to die, because life is terrible, a torment.

Personally, I do see that there are people as lonely as me who commit suicide. At least I feel at peace knowing they're leaving this horrible world. I can easily shed tears for their lives and lament that they had to suffer in this way. A year ago, I ran a marathon in honor of those people because deep down, I know they're just like me when it comes to existential pain. It doesn't matter if they're solitary or have a lot of friends. Having the will to die and actually doing it, for me, is an act of extreme courage and willpower. That's why, at least, I dedicated my time by running something I would never have done without that feeling.

Finally, I plan to write a piece of writing, a kind of novel or something like that, but very short, where I describe my misfortunes and my loneliness. In the end, it will be my last inheritance and I want whoever reads it, especially if they feel lonely, to know that I also shared that feeling and since I am probably already dead from CTB, that it will give them courage to continue living until the end, even in solitude, or that they decide to die knowing that many shared that feeling of loneliness and desire to leave this world.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

to put it plainly. I am a human phantom. No one sees or hears me. might as well just not exist.

 

[orcapythia]

Thank you for saying this! I can't stand the normal people on here I wish they'd get insta banned and it could be just ppl like us. I think I'd be more likely to improve my situation and get out of here if it wasn't for the normal ppl taking up space. Like I don't want to hear about how fun college is or how your parents care about you SHUT UP. They are brats, I'm with you

I can appreciate they probably have their own stuff like maybe they are very unwell or schizophrenic or something. I think the good thing about having people in different situations is a mix of different perspectives. Still hurts like hell though

Finally, I plan to write a piece of writing, a kind of novel or something like that, but very short, where I describe my misfortunes and my loneliness. In the end, it will be my last inheritance and I want whoever reads it, especially if they feel lonely, to know that I also shared that feeling and since I am probably already dead from CTB, that it will give them courage to continue living until the end, even in solitude, or that they decide to die knowing that many shared that feeling of loneliness and desire to leave this world.

I wish you luck with this meaningful endeavour

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

TW; loserposting / L posting about
Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone? On the one hand it's a good thing, no one to feel guilty about, but on the other hand I can't help but feel that if I had a few friends maybe suicide wouldn't be such an attractive option. I hate that it's been like 6 years since I've been on this site. And the thing is life wasn't even that bad when I first tried committing suicide. I had friends, prospects, good hygiene. Now I have almost zero friends. I can go weeks or months without reaching out to anyone and no one would bat an eye. Some family members would care I guess but most wouldn't. I wish i was normal. I know 2 people who would be genuinely happy if I died

Summary: i am jealous of those of you who have people to worry about if you leave.

I can still understand being suicidal even if you do, don't get me wrong. Life is hell

Agree with every word of this. A few family members would be broken but nobody else. I literally have nobody else who would notice. Some weeks I talk to nobody but my therapist. This isn't a life, so I'm thankful for this board. I have music to listen to on the days when I'm adulting but this is my way out.

If I had kindness and friendship and partners instead of bullying and sexual assault, I would be living. But I'm not - I'm planning my escape, and this space is giving me energy to wrap things up. It's been real happiness. I don't need people - what a waste of time. Finding my salvation from a non-autistic life because I'll be dead sounds FANTASTIC!!!!!

 

[Doz]

Does anyone else feel sad reading posts on here sometimes about how committing suicide would affect their girlfriend or their best friend bc you know your own suicide wouldn't really affect anyone?

It doesn't cross my mind in particular. But it might be because I've been alone for so long, I don't even think about it some times. I still feel for those who are going through troubled times with people that care in their lives. Everyone is going through something, living they're own unique lives. Some people just have it slightly better than others but in the end we're all suffering some how.

 

[Nadienobody]

Yes, I feel weird even by this forum's standards, like I'm the loneliest person in the world.

 

[Saponification]

I feel extremely pathetic when I see that even people here have people around them who care. I feel like God's lonely man (yes, my favorite movie is Taxi Driver). Though I guess it is a good thing that I have very little guilt or worry for CTBing.

 

[Droso]

Grass is always greener on the other side, as the saying goes.

People here who have friends, romantic partners and families can be just as lonely as someone who has none of this. How? Loneliness is not tied to how many people there are in your life who love and care for you— it is tied to how many deep, authentic connections you are able to form.

I speak from experience. I have not yet met a single person who I can fully and openly be myself. Yet I have so many people in my life who will grieve me once I am gone. As much as I appreciate those people, they don't mean much to me knowing that if they knew the true me, their love and affection for me would vanish. Or at the very least, they would try to throw me into a mental hospital and lock me away for the rest of my life. Doesn't feel like they actually care.

Some other people just don't care for the connections they have. Even if they can be themselves, it doesn't do anything for them— it's just not enough or they don't care for it.

Some people's suffering is just so great, unrelated to loneliness, that they rather end it than continue staying alive. I also fit into this camp.