Venting this will never end, nothing's worth it.

[AbsurdAbyss]

down, doomed. these walls I'm trapped behind are closing in on me and there's nothing I can do but scream until my ears bleed out and I can't even hear myself anymore - I know 'they' will never hear me anyway because they choose not to. knowing I'm left to rot like some 'accident by choice' gets me nowhere, leaves me overwhelmed with grief at my own failure - a failure to overcome failure at failure itself is perhaps all there is to it. the screams in my head get louder : "why me and not them" - "too late for that, its time to go" - "not before I have my answers" - "you'll get them when you're dead" - "i'm not the only one here am I" - "no, but it won't change a thing, this suffering only gets worse" - "you don't know that for sure" - "do you" - "but you do" - "i know you" - "what do you mean" and it stops. followed by an all too familiar cold silence. Death fast approaches and I'm still here alone, with only the sharp, biting sting of a deep, deep pain I'll never be able to erase or express.

- life becomes what you take of it, death is what you make of it. -