Thinking about suicide every day

[coffeeadmirer]

This is my first post.

I think the only thought that I have every day is attempting suicide. No other thought appears that often in my head than this. It is just such a relieving feeling when thinking not needing to exist anymore and I think many people can relate to that. The reason is that I don't want these problems in my life anymore. I don't want to do anything anymore. I lost the motivation to live and everyone just makes me want to kill myself even more.

I do want to get help from a psychologist, but if I do that I wont fulfill the criteria for a certain thing (wont mention it here) I want to do. So the only best solution would be killing myself, right?

I wont have to worry about anything anymore and everything would be gone in seconds. The only thing holding me back is the fear of leaving a weak image of myself. I get thoughts like "Oh look at him, he committed suicide" and then they laugh or other things like that.

I always think about hanging myself, but only if the perfect requirements are met. I wouldn't go to the store and buy a rope and prepare for it. Instead I would wait for a rope to magically appear in my room and even then the thoughts would be holding me back.

I know that I wont have to worry about all of that thing anymore after I die, but still it is a thought that I cannot not think about.

 

[cazza82]

This is my first post.

I think the only thought that I have every day is attempting suicide. No other thought appears that often in my head than this. It is just such a relieving feeling when thinking not needing to exist anymore and I think many people can relate to that. The reason is that I don't want these problems in my life anymore. I don't want to do anything anymore. I lost the motivation to live and everyone just makes me want to kill myself even more.

I do want to get help from a psychologist, but if I do that I wont fulfill the criteria for a certain thing (wont mention it here) I want to do. So the only best solution would be killing myself, right?

I wont have to worry about anything anymore and everything would be gone in seconds. The only thing holding me back is the fear of leaving a weak image of myself. I get thoughts like "Oh look at him, he committed suicide" and then they laugh or other things like that.

I always think about hanging myself, but only if the perfect requirements are met. I wouldn't go to the store and buy a rope and prepare for it. Instead I would wait for a rope to magically appear in my room and even then the thoughts would be holding me back.

I know that I wont have to worry about all of that thing anymore after I die, but still it is a thought that I cannot not think about.

You could try to talk to someone to see if at least it helps. it helps me I know it's not going to fix me but I have a 6 year old so I have to try

 

[HenryHenriksen_6E]

I wont have to worry about anything anymore and everything would be gone in seconds. The only thing holding me back is the fear of leaving a weak image of myself. I get thoughts like "Oh look at him, he committed suicide" and then they laugh or other things like that.

This is so true! Thing is, when I die, many will know about it, considering my environment. And I hate the thought of my image ridiculed by those alive, because 'I wasn't strong enough' to deal with my problems. I don't even think it's unreasonable to worry about that, as I've overheard others speak like that, saying things like: "That person who tired to kill himself?" in a demeaning tone, proceeding to taint that individual by saying: "Yeah, that person was always a little weird." So yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. Hopefully I was 'normal' enough to avoid that backlash, albeit I already somewhat feel like an outcast, and I'm kinda awkward, so eh who knows.

 

[coffeeadmirer]

You could try to talk to someone to see if at least it helps. it helps me I know it's not going to fix me but I have a 6 year old so I have to try

That sounds really difficult. The problem is that even if there were people I could talk to, I would prefer not to. I don't want anybody to know about my problem.

This is so true! Thing is, when I die, many will know about it, considering my environment. And I hate the thought of my image ridiculed by those alive, because 'I wasn't strong enough' to deal with my problems. I don't even think it's unreasonable to worry about that, as I've overheard others speak like that, saying things like: "That person who tired to kill himself?" in a demeaning tone, proceeding to taint that individual by saying: "Yeah, that person was always a little weird." So yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. Hopefully I was 'normal' enough to avoid that backlash, albeit I already somewhat feel like an outcast, and I'm kinda awkward, so eh who knows.

Finally someone that can relate to me. At least I now know that my problem is not something unnecessary.