Thinking about someone I know who ctb

[heavysoul]

A few months ago I heard about a girl my age who I knew from a club we were both in in high school who took her life.

I think about her quite often and am curious to know more about what happened with her, even though we weren't that close so it isn't my place. She was open on social media about her struggles with grief, mental health, and her strive toward suicide prevention. I just wonder how she was feeling and thinking exactly, wish I could have connected with her as a fellow suicidal person before she left.

And of course, in the interactions I did have with her and what else I saw of her on social media, she seemed like a lovely person with a full heart. It's really tragic that often only once someone goes is when you truly appreciate and admire their personhood.

And of course, I have to wonder, how did she go? What was her method? And had she ever found her way onto this forum? I wonder if there are any people from my real life who use this forum and wish I could connect with them, as being a member on here can feel like an isolating experience. I don't trust anyone enough irl to tell them about this place and open up about why I use it because I know they're only going to discourage me in the best case scenario, tell my family or call authorities on me in the worst case.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I replied to a thread a couple weeks ago about a friend who ctb. We met online and met so we could do it together. She ended up disappearing one morning (or during the night) and left me hanging(no pun intended).

I looked up her name a few weeks later on google and found a newspaper article. She had went to a different state and partnered up with someone else. They both died from cyanide. I think about her from time to time.