Things That Should Be Tried Prior to Considering a Suicide Attempt

[needthebus]

This is not a recovery post. This is a list of things that I think people should do or try prior to even considering an attempt. This does not apply to people who are in chronic pain due to a severe incurable illness (such as slow painful cancer, the end stages of Huntington's disease, or extreme disabilities that result in severe pain that will never improve). I am posting this in the Suicide subforum because I hope people considering an attempt read this and if they haven't done stuff suggested here that they try it prior to considering an attempt. This is not about recovery, this is about being responsible: an attempt is serious and it leaves other people (friends and family) devastated and so before even considering an attempt, you should be trying to do things to get better if you can:

1. If you are 18-21, you should wait beyond this period because brains change so much during this time.

2. Many people get depressed due to loneliness and not having sexual needs and companionship needs me. Therefore, you should at least try:

A. Putting up dating profiles on at least 4 dating websites for at least 6-12 months to see if you can meet someone.
B. Jogging every day for at least two weeks to see if there is any anti-depression impact
C. Working out 3x a week to improve your appearance
D. Getting a life coach to help you with this process, working with a life coach for at least 3 months

I really believe that when people are sad, the typical societal response is "drug them with big pharma drugs" and "have them talk about feelings in therapy." I don't think this is very effective for many people, especially people who aren't having sexual needs met. The typical societal response emphasizes introspection and being drugged instead of making specific changes in life to try to feel better. For someone extremely depressed, they also often have problems making decisions or doing things, which is why every depressed person would probably actually do better with a life coach who tells them specific things they need to do and try, rather than just being drugged and talking about their feelings for extremely high fees.

3. Many people, including young people, are unhappy due to a lack of independence and unhappy due to not feeling empowered by self-sufficiency, so before considering an attempt you should try:
A. At least 3 different jobs in different work sectors to see if having a job you like and making money makes life better.
B. Working each job for at least 3 months.
C. Having a job and making enough money to not live with your family for at least 6 months in case a lack of independence is making your depression worse.

If you have done all of these things so far, and have also tried dating while working (and work makes you more desirable to others sometimes) and you've tried to become more desirable to partners and dating and have tried working and you're 22 and are still depressed, then it's important to try other things too before considering an attempt.

4. Before considering an attempt, people should at least try medication and therapy, although from what I've seen on SaSu, most people here have already tried medication and therapy:
A. Talk with a doctor about trying at least 2 kinds of antidepressants for at least 3 months each.
B. Talk with a doctor about trying at least 1 mood stabilizer like lithium for at least a month in case you're actually bipolar
C. Talk with a doctor about trying an atypical anti-psychotic for at least 1 month in case you are in the early stages of another disorder
D. Try at least 2 psychiatrists if not feeling better when working with the first
E. Try at least 3 therapy sessions to see if there's any improvement.

If you have done all of these things, you've really given traditional mental health therapy treatments a significant try. If you haven't done literally all of these things, you probably haven't tried hard enough and shouldn't even consider attempting.

5. Before considering an attempt, people should at least try volunteering in 1 community organization at least 4 hours a week for 3 months

The reason for this is that a lot of times people who want to die feel their lives are meaningless and are lonely and don't feel connected to people. If you haven't tried volunteering somewhere, you should do this before considering an attempt.

6. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should check to make sure there isn't some lifestyle or diet factor making you feel worse. You should try:
A. Allergen test
B. Try a gluten-free diet for at least 2 weeks
C. Try a Keto diet for at least 2 weeks
D. Try a vegan diet for at least 2 weeks

7. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should get lab work done and talk to a primary care doctor to see if there's anything medically wrong that could be making you feel worse:
A. Get lab work done
B. Rule out vitamin deficiencies

8. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should at least wait 6 months to 1 year to see if your depression naturally resolves on it's own.

Before even considering a suicide attempt, I hope you try all of these things. This does not mean that if you've tried all these things then it's fine to attempt or you should consider attempting; instead it means that if you haven't tried all of these things and don't have a chronic painful medical condition that can't be treated or an end-stage illness, then your depression or life circumstances may improve dramatically yet and you really shouldn't be considering something as drastic as ending your life. This list would take about 1-2 years to do everything on if you are over 21. If economics/costs are a factor, I really hope that before considering an attempt you prioritize hiring a life coach because, unlike most mental health professionals who don't tell you what to do during a time in which it's hard to make decisions, life coaches will tell you specific things they want you to try and do.

If you are 18-21, you are too young to attempt suicide. It's a permanent decision and things could change, your brain can change, 18-21 is a hard time for many, many people. Also, please think of other people on SaSu: when younger people on SaSu die, it makes SaSu look bad and it's unfair to put the site at risk. Please try to wait until you're over 21 to protect the site.

No one under 18 should be here or reading this. Anyone being under 18 and on SaSu means they've lied to gain access and it's terribly unfair to everyone else who wants to use this site as it puts the site at risk.

To anyone reading this, sorry you are here and reading this and I hope you eventually end up happy somehow and end up never coming back to this site, and end up having a meaningful life and/or being blissfully in love with someone you care about.

 

[Darkover]

this belongs in the recovery section nobody wants self help in the suicide discussion area

If you are 18-21, you should wait beyond this period because brains change so much during this time.

i first became suicidal at 18 after a relationship break up i wish i'd kill my self straight away back then because my life never did get any better

 

[needthebus]

this belongs in the recovery section nobody wants self help in the suicide discussion area

i first became suicidal at 18 after a relationship break up i wish i'd kill my self straight away back then because my life never did get any better

I understand. The reason I am posting this here is because SaSu is under attack, if you haven't noticed, and I was trying to contribute something so that if someone is young (18-21) and looking to kill themselves, it is abundantly clear that we are not encouraging suicide. The post isn't for people who are better or getting better, it's for people who are considering suicide. I hope you understand why I posted it. I also believe everything in the post and really hope people have tried those things prior to considering an attempt, even people over 21.

 

[resurgence]

I understand. The reason I am posting this here is because SaSu is under attack, if you haven't noticed, and I was trying to contribute something so that if someone is young and looking to kill themselves, it is abundantly clear that we are not encouraging suicide. The post isn't for people who are better or getting better, it's for people who are considering suicide. I hope you understand why I posted it.

it makes perfect sense why you posted it here, even outside of sasu behind under attack. some people here seem like they aren't so far gone that there are still things they can and should try. if it doesnt apply for people they can scroll because it isnt for them, clearly.
appreciate you making a post like this <3

 

[divinemistress36]

Yes, I agree with some of this stuff. Everyone deserves a fighting chance and a lot can change from 18-30 . The problem is lack of resources, support, and financial access to this for many people

 

[TAW122]

A very interesting post and it definitely hits a lot of different areas. However, I would say I perhaps don't necessarily fit the bill, and ultimately, at the end of the day, it is still up to a person's choice of whether they are going to CTB or not. I do agree that with all choices, including CTB itself should be taken with serious consideration and not done impulsively or poorly planned as that would likely result in worse outcomes, failure and possibly permanent damage (including becoming a vegetable, severely physically debilitated).

As for me, I'm someone who is in his mid 30's, has held onto a job for several years, has seen therapists and such throughout childhood and parts of adulthood, done many things, but at the end of the day, and from my philosophy, I still believe that CTB is my better option for my personal circumstances. I won't go too much more into detail about myself for obvious reasons though.

 

[Namelesa]

As someone who is 19, I am personally am against saying people who are 18-21 or even under 18 shouldn't attempt suicide even if they want to. We were forced into this mess so to me already that's enough of a reason for someone however young they are to want to ctb. Suicide is almost always a valid decision to make as we should have control over our lives.

Also the person who dies isn't negatively effected by being dead at all cus they can't feel, do, fear or desire anything so they literally can't regret killing themselves. The only negative effect suicide has is on people who are still alive but someone who is suffering so much as to want to suicide shouldn't have to suffer for others as so can ctb without feeling any guilt.

The only person to know whether their life is worth living and continuing is themselves, others shouldn't force their opinions on whether they are allowed to commit suicide or not. Personally I see life as a whole to be a risky thing to continue as we don't know if we will get better or not or things will get even worse and would prefer not to take that risk but others are allowed to take that risk if they want to.

 

[outrider567]

This is not a recovery post. This is a list of things that I think people should do or try prior to even considering an attempt. This does not apply to people who are in chronic pain due to a severe incurable illness (such as slow painful cancer, the end stages of Huntington's disease, or extreme disabilities that result in severe pain that will never improve). I am posting this in the Suicide subforum because I hope people considering an attempt read this and if they haven't done stuff suggested here that they try it prior to considering an attempt. This is not about recovery, this is about being responsible: an attempt is serious and it leaves other people (friends and family) devastated and so before even considering an attempt, you should be trying to do things to get better if you can:

1. If you are 18-21, you should wait beyond this period because brains change so much during this time.

2. Many people get depressed due to loneliness and not having sexual needs and companionship needs me. Therefore, you should at least try:

A. Putting up dating profiles on at least 4 dating websites for at least 6-12 months to see if you can meet someone.
B. Jogging every day for at least two weeks to see if there is any anti-depression impact
C. Working out 3x a week to improve your appearance
D. Getting a life coach to help you with this process, working with a life coach for at least 3 months

I really believe that when people are sad, the typical societal response is "drug them with big pharma drugs" and "have them talk about feelings in therapy." I don't think this is very effective for many people, especially people who aren't having sexual needs met. The typical societal response emphasizes introspection and being drugged instead of making specific changes in life to try to feel better. For someone extremely depressed, they also often have problems making decisions or doing things, which is why every depressed person would probably actually do better with a life coach who tells them specific things they need to do and try, rather than just being drugged and talking about their feelings for extremely high fees.

3. Many people, including young people, are unhappy due to a lack of independence and unhappy due to not feeling empowered by self-sufficiency, so before considering an attempt you should try:
A. At least 3 different jobs in different work sectors to see if having a job you like and making money makes life better.
B. Working each job for at least 3 months.
C. Having a job and making enough money to not live with your family for at least 6 months in case a lack of independence is making your depression worse.

If you have done all of these things so far, and have also tried dating while working (and work makes you more desirable to others sometimes) and you've tried to become more desirable to partners and dating and have tried working and you're 22 and are still depressed, then it's important to try other things too before considering an attempt.

4. Before considering an attempt, people should at least try medication and therapy, although from what I've seen on SaSu, most people here have already tried medication and therapy:
A. Try at least 2 kinds of antidepressants for at least 3 months each.
B. Try at least 1 mood stabilizer like lithium for at least a month in case you're actually bipolar
C. Try an atypical anti-psychotic for at least 1 month in case you are in the early stages of another disorder
D. Try at least 2 psychiatrists if not feeling better when working with the first
E. Try at least 3 therapy sessions to see if there's any improvement.

If you have done all of these things, you've really given traditional mental health therapy treatments a significant try. If you haven't done literally all of these things, you probably haven't tried hard enough and shouldn't even consider attempting.

5. Before considering an attempt, people should at least try volunteering in 1 community organization at least 4 hours a week for 3 months

The reason for this is that a lot of times people who want to die feel their lives are meaningless and are lonely and don't feel connected to people. If you haven't tried volunteering somewhere, you should do this before considering an attempt.

6. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should check to make sure there isn't some lifestyle or diet factor making you feel worse. You should try:
A. Allergen test
B. Try a gluten-free diet for at least 2 weeks
C. Try a Keto diet for at least 2 weeks
D. Try a vegan diet for at least 2 weeks

7. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should get lab work done and talk to a primary care doctor to see if there's anything medically wrong that could be making you feel worse:
A. Get lab work done
B. Rule out vitamin deficiencies

8. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should at least wait 6 months to 1 year to see if your depression naturally resolves on it's own.

Before even considering a suicide attempt, I hope you try all of these things. This does not mean that if you've tried all these things then it's fine to attempt or you should consider attempting; instead it means that if you haven't tried all of these things and don't have a chronic painful medical condition that can't be treated or an end-stage illness, then your depression or life circumstances may improve dramatically yet and you really shouldn't be considering something as drastic as ending your life. This list would take about 1-2 years to do everything on if you are over 21. If economics/costs are a factor, I really hope that before considering an attempt you prioritize hiring a life coach because, unlike most mental health professionals who don't tell you what to do during a time in which it's hard to make decisions, life coaches will tell you specific things they want you to try and do.

If you are 18-21, you are too young to attempt suicide. It's a permanent decision and things could change, your brain can change, 18-21 is a hard time for many, many people. Also, please think of other people on SaSu: when younger people on SaSu die, it makes SaSu look bad and it's unfair to put the site at risk. Please try to wait until you're over 21 to protect the site.

No one under 18 should be here or reading this. Anyone being under 18 and on SaSu means they've lied to gain access and it's terribly unfair to everyone else who wants to use this site as it puts the site at risk.

To anyone reading this, sorry you are here and reading this and I hope you eventually end up happy somehow and end up never coming back to this site, and end up having a meaningful life and/or being blissfully in love with someone you care about.

Excellent post, but there's nothing in there that applies to me, or my situation

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I understand the intent of this post in some ways but seeing you recommending people to take lithium or X number of medication and other very specific things doesn't sit well with me.

It is reckless and dangerous to make medicine recommendations to people you know nothing about, especially when, I'm assuming, you're not qualified for it.
Please think: if someone follows that and ends up worse of, you're causing harm.

There's no problem in proposing that someone gives psychiatry a try but recommending specific meds and quantities I think is out of line.

I would vividly recommend removing all psych meds related advice.

 

[needthebus]

As someone who is 19, I am personally am against saying people who are 18-21 or even under 18 shouldn't attempt suicide even if they want to. We were forced into this mess so to me already that's enough of a reason for someone however young they are to want to ctb. Suicide is almost always a valid decision to make as we should have control over our lives.

Also the person who dies isn't negatively effected by being dead at all cus they can't feel, do, fear or desire anything so they literally can't regret killing themselves. The only negative effect suicide has is on people who are still alive but someone who is suffering so much as to want to suicide shouldn't have to suffer for others as so can ctb without feeling any guilt.

The only person to know whether their life is worth living and continuing is themselves, others shouldn't force their opinions on whether they are allowed to commit suicide or not. Personally I see life as a whole to be a risky thing to continue as we don't know if we will get better or not or things will get even worse and would prefer not to take that risk but others are allowed to take that risk if they want to.

I understand your perspective completely.

Since you are 19, and a SaSu member, I hope you at least wait until over 21 out of compassion for other SaSu users because 18-21 is still in that young person age range that will tend to bring negative attention to the website. Even if you have a valid philosophical view, suicide is extremely frowned upon in society and waiting until at least over 21 helps protect the site.

Have you tried a life coach? Have you done everything or anything on this list? Sorry you are here, I believe I've read your posts before and have liked them. I get what you are saying that people should be able to make personal choices.

I understand the intent of this post in some ways but seeing you recommending people to take lithium or X number of medication and other very specific things doesn't sit well with me.

It is reckless and dangerous to make medicine recommendations to people you know nothing about, especially when, I'm assuming, you're not qualified for it.
Please think: if someone follows that and ends up worse of, you're causing harm.

There's no problem in proposing that someone gives psychiatry a try but recommending specific meds and quantities I think is out of line.

I would vividly recommend removing all psych meds related advice.

you're right: i'll edit it to say talk with a doctor about taking instead

i edited this @ForgottenAgain . I suppose when I said "try" before the "talk with a doctor" part was something I figured would be naturally implied, but you're right that it should be specifically listed

Again, this is not to encourage people to attempt if they do these things. This post is primarily because sometimes I see people who are in the 18-25 range on here and I worry they may be considering attempting or attempting when they have situations that either could improve or would improve and they haven't really tried enough to get better.

Sometimes the first time I am seeing an 18-25 year old person or knowing how young they are is when they are posting about attempting. At that point, I often don't have time to go "Uh oh, looks like you are only 20. Have you tried working? Jogging? Dating? Pills? A Life coach? At least for people who will be left behind if not you?" I realize at 19 or 20, people are not stupid and if they are here, they are in immense pain. When I was 19, I was also suicidal and in immense pain I wasn't stupid and my thinking wasn't arbitrary. It's likely most 18-21 year old people or people in 18-25 range have put in a lot of thought before being here. But I also worry about people who haven't. I worry about people who are in school, sad, and haven't even worked at all to be independent and perhaps that would be the thing that makes things okay. I worry about lonely people who haven't found love and perhaps that life coach would help them to become more connected, or find someone. I am not worried about the 30-something who has worked, tried therapy, tried everything and is making a decision over a period of years. I'm not a pro-lifer. This site doesn't encourage anyone, has resources, but I wanted to write something because often when that young person who is 19 posts, they have a post count of 20 and I've never seen them before and I worry if they have tried to get better.

 

[divinemistress36]

I understand your perspective completely.

Since you are 19, and a SaSu member, I hope you at least wait until over 21 out of compassion for other SaSu users because 18-21 is still in that young person age range that will tend to bring negative attention to the website. Even if you have a valid philosophical view, suicide is extremely frowned upon in society and waiting until at least over 21 helps protect the site.

Have you tried a life coach? Have you done everything or anything on this list? Sorry you are here, I believe I've read your posts before and have liked them. I get what you are saying that people should be able to make personal choices.



you're right: i'll edit it to say talk with a doctor about taking instead

i edited this @ForgottenAgain . I suppose when I said "try" before the "talk with a doctor" part was something I figured would be naturally implied, but you're right that it should be specifically listed

Again, this is not to encourage people to attempt if they do these things. This post is primarily because sometimes I see people who are in the 18-25 range on here and I worry they may be considering attempting or attempting when they have situations that either could improve or would improve and they haven't really tried enough to get better.

Sometimes the first time I am seeing an 18-25 year old person or knowing how young they are is when they are posting about attempting. At that point, I often don't have time to go "Uh oh, looks like you are only 20. Have you tried working? Jogging? Dating? Pills? A Life coach? At least for people who will be left behind if not you?" I realize at 19 or 20, people are not stupid and if they are here, they are in immense pain. When I was 19, I was also suicidal and in immense pain I wasn't stupid and my thinking wasn't arbitrary. It's likely most 18-21 year old people or people in 18-25 range have put in a lot of thought before being here. But I also worry about people who haven't. I worry about people who are in school, sad, and haven't even worked at all to be independent and perhaps that would be the thing that makes things okay. I worry about lonely people who haven't found love and perhaps that life coach would help them to become more connected, or find someone. I am not worried about the 30-something who has worked, tried therapy, tried everything and is making a decision over a period of years. I'm not a pro-lifer. This site doesn't encourage anyone, has resources, but I wanted to write something because often when that young person who is 19 posts, they have a post count of 20 and I've never seen them before and I worry if they have tried to get better.

Life coaches are expensive though

 

[Forever Sleep]

Out of curiosity, have you done all the things you advised? If I may ask- why do you think it hasn't worked out for you? If it hasn't worked for you, why do you imagine it will work for others? Not to say it won't of course. I'm just curious.

I absolutely agree that we should think the decision through thoroughly- as you've said- it's obviously a very final decision that may impact others greatly.

Honestly, I wouldn't even consider a lot of what's on there myself though. Maybe I would have when I was younger and, willing to take advice and try things. I guess it is aimed at younger members.

At 45 though, I know myself better than anyone else. I can predict what things on there would actually make me feel worse! Perhaps a defeatist attitude but, gained from 45 years experience.

I suppose this is part of the issue. Is: 'I don't want to try that/ put myself through that' acceptable? What if people consider these options but, choose not to pursue them? Should they be forced to? Can they be? How likely is that to work? If their heart isn't in it?

Do you think you could convince some of our younger members especially to reconsider? I suppose that is what the pro-lifers and especially parents want. For their children to be pushed back towards life. I wonder how effective it would be.

I do agree with some of what you're saying. We won't actually know we'll hate something in life until we experience it. We won't experience it if we haven't lived long enough to or, not made the effort to. But still, I also feel like- if we have thoroughly considered every option, surely we have the right to still choose? It's important to be aware of what options might be available to us though, certainly. So, it's an interesting post in putting a whole range of things out there to try.

 

[Namelesa]

I understand your perspective completely.

Since you are 19, and a SaSu member, I hope you at least wait until over 21 out of compassion for other SaSu users because 18-21 is still in that young person age range that will tend to bring negative attention to the website. Even if you have a valid philosophical view, suicide is extremely frowned upon in society and waiting until at least over 21 helps protect the site.

Have you tried a life coach? Have you done everything or anything on this list? Sorry you are here, I believe I've read your posts before and have liked them. I get what you are saying that people should be able to make personal choices.

Sadly I won't probably won't be able to die cus of my family trapping me but if I could get hold an effective method I would use it now cus I think death is the more logical answer as in death I am guaranteed to have my suffering be stopped when that isn't an guaranteed if I stay alive. With this thinking in mind I don't want to put in the effort to get better or recover and other shouldn't have to either if they don't want to. People should allowed to end their suffering in whatever way they want whether that's through recovery or suicide but others shouldn't force them to change their minds or do other things when they are wanting death. With people here under 21 if they wanted to die, I won't want them to suffer more and so would be glad if they had a successful ctb as their pain would be over like with @ijustwishtodie when he did his ctb and who was also 19.

I have done quite a few things that you have said on the list.

I won't say loneliness is a reason I want to kill myself but its repetition and emptiness and have used relationships as a way to lessen those feelings but it often won't work out cus people leave me cus of me being an emotional burden which just worsens my mental problems. Its nothing to do with my appearance and can get into relationships just fine but cus of my fear of abandonment often causing paranoia of doing anything wrong and my people pleasing nature causing me to overdo myself and build up negative emotions where I can't take it anymore and show resentment to my partner, they will leave me eventually. Also my parents won't want me meeting up with people online physically so dating apps won't provide me what I want.

With exercise I do walks with my dog sometimes but it varies in how it makes me feel which be be from a very slight boost in mood to my mood decreasing massively. I don't need to anything more extreme cus I am happy and comfortable with the body I have and if I were to do something more extreme that it just lowers my mood.

I have tried 2 different antidepressants for quite a bit of time for each with varying doses but they made no effect on my mood and my mental health. I have done therapy for a few years with different therapists but it only helps slightly and won't actually solve my problems.

I don't care about being independent but just want more freedom and that's why I complain about my parents trapping me. I won't be able to handle any kind of job cus of my autism and my low mental pain tolerance. I can't handle even short amount of hours of work. I am only interested in working by myself to make the games I want to.

I haven't tried a life coach and don't even know what that is. Probably can't get them cus I would need to ask my parents for it.

I don't have any innate reason to want to live for myself as I see the only meaning to life is to relieve others of their suffering and provide something to others but I often fail at that and I am suffering too much and want to die so I might as well die for both myself and for others.

 

[cme-dme]

The thought of living another 10-15 years just to see if there is a chance of things improving sounds awful to me. Its the same old "It gets better" deal. I've had these thoughts for about 10 years now. When will it start getting better? Am I expected to wait until I'm in my 30's and 40's just to see if anything gets better? Screw that.

 

[bloodmania]

i am 18 almost 19, i dont see the point in waiting until im 21+ if i've been depressed since i was 9 . i wish i had committed when i was 15, i had a very easy method available but i didnt do it because i believed that it would get better. my life from the outside looks like it is getting better as i have friends and a bf now however my mental health still is extremely bad

 

[needthebus]

Sadly I won't probably won't be able to die cus of my family trapping me but if I could get hold an effective method I would use it now cus I think death is the more logical answer as in death I am guaranteed to have my suffering be stopped when that isn't an guaranteed if I stay alive. With this thinking in mind I don't want to put in the effort to get better or recover and other shouldn't have to either if they don't want to. People should allowed to end their suffering in whatever way they want whether that's through recovery or suicide but others shouldn't force them to change their minds or do other things when they are wanting death. With people here under 21 if they wanted to die, I won't want them to suffer more and so would be glad if they had a successful ctb as their pain would be over like with @ijustwishtodie when he did his ctb and who was also 19.

I have done quite a few things that you have said on the list.

I won't say loneliness is a reason I want to kill myself but its repetition and emptiness and have used relationships as a way to lessen those feelings but it often won't work out cus people leave me cus of me being an emotional burden which just worsens my mental problems. Its nothing to do with my appearance and can get into relationships just fine but cus of my fear of abandonment often causing paranoia of doing anything wrong and my people pleasing nature causing me to overdo myself and build up negative emotions where I can't take it anymore and show resentment to my partner, they will leave me eventually. Also my parents won't want me meeting up with people online physically so dating apps won't provide me what I want.

With exercise I do walks with my dog sometimes but it varies in how it makes me feel which be be from a very slight boost in mood to my mood decreasing massively. I don't need to anything more extreme cus I am happy and comfortable with the body I have and if I were to do something more extreme that it just lowers my mood.

I have tried 2 different antidepressants for quite a bit of time for each with varying doses but they made no effect on my mood and my mental health. I have done therapy for a few years with different therapists but it only helps slightly and won't actually solve my problems.

I don't care about being independent but just want more freedom and that's why I complain about my parents trapping me. I won't be able to handle any kind of job cus of my autism and my low mental pain tolerance. I can't handle even short amount of hours of work. I am only interested in working by myself to make the games I want to.

I haven't tried a life coach and don't even know what that is. Probably can't get them cus I would need to ask my parents for it.

I don't have any innate reason to want to live for myself as I see the only meaning to life is to relieve others of their suffering and provide something to others but I often fail at that and I am suffering too much and want to die so I might as well die for both myself and for others.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tends to help people who have fear of abandonment issues.

The thought of living another 10-15 years just to see if there is a chance of things improving sounds awful to me. Its the same old "It gets better" deal. I've had these thoughts for about 10 years now. When will it start getting better? Am I expected to wait until I'm in my 30's and 40's just to see if anything gets better? Screw that.

I didn't write 10-15 years. I said wait until over 21 and make sure you've just tried working, tried being in a relationship or finding one, tried therapy and medication, tried a life coach, tried jogging every day, tried these things before you consider stuff... You may try all of that stuff and it may not get better. But brains change a lot from 18-21 and sometimes people depressed in their teens end up with a full-time job in their early 20s, making their own money, and they start to feel okay. That may or may not happen for you, but suicide affects a lot of people so I hope you are least try those things before even considering anything.

i am 18 almost 19, i dont see the point in waiting until im 21+ if i've been depressed since i was 9 . i wish i had committed when i was 15, i had a very easy method available but i didnt do it because i believed that it would get better. my life from the outside looks like it is getting better as i have friends and a bf now however my mental health still is extremely bad

If you are 18, you probably don't have a full-time job yet. A full-time job is sometimes a thing people hate, but some people like it because when you get paid a full-time salary, then you get to make your own choices much more easily outside of work. If you have friends and a bf and still feel terrible, have you tried jogging every day? Therapy? Medication? Volunteering somewhere? Working full-time? My point is those things can result in sometimes making people feel much much better. They may or may not work for you, but I hope before you consider anything drastic you at least try those things.

Out of curiosity, have you done all the things you advised? If I may ask- why do you think it hasn't worked out for you? If it hasn't worked for you, why do you imagine it will work for others? Not to say it won't of course. I'm just curious.

I absolutely agree that we should think the decision through thoroughly- as you've said- it's obviously a very final decision that may impact others greatly.

Honestly, I wouldn't even consider a lot of what's on there myself though. Maybe I would have when I was younger and, willing to take advice and try things. I guess it is aimed at younger members.

At 45 though, I know myself better than anyone else. I can predict what things on there would actually make me feel worse! Perhaps a defeatist attitude but, gained from 45 years experience.

I suppose this is part of the issue. Is: 'I don't want to try that/ put myself through that' acceptable? What if people consider these options but, choose not to pursue them? Should they be forced to? Can they be? How likely is that to work? If their heart isn't in it?

Do you think you could convince some of our younger members especially to reconsider? I suppose that is what the pro-lifers and especially parents want. For their children to be pushed back towards life. I wonder how effective it would be.

I do agree with some of what you're saying. We won't actually know we'll hate something in life until we experience it. We won't experience it if we haven't lived long enough to or, not made the effort to. But still, I also feel like- if we have thoroughly considered every option, surely we have the right to still choose? It's important to be aware of what options might be available to us though, certainly. So, it's an interesting post in putting a whole range of things out there to try.

I was violently sexually attacked and have permanent injuries that people can't see, so although I look normal, I would put myself in the incurable painful injuries category and I've tried almost all of the things on the list.

It's hard to believe it, but this isn't a pro-life post. This is a pro-choice post. I am just listing my views and people can agree or disagree.

Life coaches are expensive though

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what you said about resources however is a really good point and if someone can't afford to do something, i guess they would have to unfortunately cross it off as not possible. there are also local agencies that can help, but it's usually just with big pharma pills and therapy, which is mostly "tell me about your feelings" stuff, in my cynical view, that tends to be somewhat pointless for depression

 

[cme-dme]

I didn't write 10-15 years. I said wait until over 21 and make sure you've just tried working, tried being in a relationship, tried therapy and medication, tried a life coach, tried jogging every day, tried these things before you consider stuff... You may try all of that stuff and it may not get better. But brains change a lot from 18-21 and sometimes people depressed in their teens end up with a full-time job in their early 20s, making their own money, and they start to feel okay. That may or may not happen for you, but suicide affects a lot of people so I hope you are least try those things before even considering anything.

I'm about as independent as I can be. My autism doesn't allow me to work a full time job or be fully independent. Working full time would make me feel worse. I've been in a relationship (It made things worse). I used to go on walks every day in a place I enjoyed. Didn't help. Therapy only made me feel slightly better and had no meaningful impact on my mental health. I haven't tried everything you mention but with everything I've tried, I doubt anything will work.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

 

[needthebus]

I'm about as independent as I can be. My autism doesn't allow me to work a full time job or be fully independent. Working full time would make me feel worse. I've been in a relationship (It made things worse). I used to go on walks every day in a place I enjoyed. Didn't help. Therapy only made me feel slightly better and had no meaningful impact on my mental health. I haven't tried everything you mention but with everything I've tried, I doubt anything will work.

Walking and running/jogging are different. Trying jogging every day. It may not help, but try it.

If you have autism and volunteer with an organization, there would not be a required number of hours. You could figure out what works for you. Try it.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Thank you for editing @needthebus , appreciate it

 

[SilentSadness]

This is not a recovery post.

If you are 18-21, you are too young to attempt suicide. It's a permanent decision and things could change, your brain can change, 18-21 is a hard time for many, many people. Also, please think of other people on SaSu: when younger people on SaSu die, it makes SaSu look bad and it's unfair to put the site at risk. Please try to wait until you're over 21 to protect the site.

Jogging every day for at least two weeks to see if there is any anti-depression impact
C. Working out 3x a week to improve your appearance

Sorry but this is total garbage, this should not be in the suicide discussion. I don't see why people have to come here and mock suicidal people, claiming they're "too young" or asking if they've tried excercising yet. Your post would be better received if it wasn't so condescending and accusing suicidal people of being "unfair". Most suicidal people need a lot more than a lot of this pro life drivel.

 

[slinkey10]

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tends to help people who have fear of abandonment issues.

I didn't write 10-15 years. I said wait until over 21 and make sure you've just tried working, tried being in a relationship or finding one, tried therapy and medication, tried a life coach, tried jogging every day, tried these things before you consider stuff... You may try all of that stuff and it may not get better. But brains change a lot from 18-21 and sometimes people depressed in their teens end up with a full-time job in their early 20s, making their own money, and they start to feel okay. That may or may not happen for you, but suicide affects a lot of people so I hope you are least try those things before even considering anything.

If you are 18, you probably don't have a full-time job yet. A full-time job is sometimes a thing people hate, but some people like it because when you get paid a full-time salary, then you get to make your own choices much more easily outside of work. If you have friends and a bf and still feel terrible, have you tried jogging every day? Therapy? Medication? Volunteering somewhere? Working full-time? My point is those things can result in sometimes making people feel much much better. They may or may not work for you, but I hope before you consider anything drastic you at least try those things.

I was violently brutally sexually attacked and have permanent injuries that people can't see, so although I look normal, I haven't dated in a very long time. I would put myself in the incurable painful injuries category and I've tried almost all of the things on the list.

It's hard to believe it, but this isn't a pro-life post. This is a pro-choice post. I am just listing my views and people can agree or disagree.

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what you said about resources however is a really good point and if someone can't afford to do something, i guess they would have to unfortunately cross it off as not possible. there are also local agencies that can help, but it's usually just with big pharma pills and therapy, which is mostly "tell me about your feelings" stuff, in my cynical view, that tends to be somewhat pointless for depression

"Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tends to help people who have fear of abandonment issues." costs around 27k in the uk & Not available on NHS only private.
This post is bait IMO. As others have said belongs in recovery section. Are you writing an essay?

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - actually, is good for 'distress tolerance' maybe your pop psychology mannual missed that bit out?

 

[divinemistress36]

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tends to help people who have fear of abandonment issues.

I didn't write 10-15 years. I said wait until over 21 and make sure you've just tried working, tried being in a relationship or finding one, tried therapy and medication, tried a life coach, tried jogging every day, tried these things before you consider stuff... You may try all of that stuff and it may not get better. But brains change a lot from 18-21 and sometimes people depressed in their teens end up with a full-time job in their early 20s, making their own money, and they start to feel okay. That may or may not happen for you, but suicide affects a lot of people so I hope you are least try those things before even considering anything.

If you are 18, you probably don't have a full-time job yet. A full-time job is sometimes a thing people hate, but some people like it because when you get paid a full-time salary, then you get to make your own choices much more easily outside of work. If you have friends and a bf and still feel terrible, have you tried jogging every day? Therapy? Medication? Volunteering somewhere? Working full-time? My point is those things can result in sometimes making people feel much much better. They may or may not work for you, but I hope before you consider anything drastic you at least try those things.

I was violently brutally sexually attacked and have permanent injuries that people can't see, so although I look normal, I haven't dated in a very long time. I would put myself in the incurable painful injuries category and I've tried almost all of the things on the list.

It's hard to believe it, but this isn't a pro-life post. This is a pro-choice post. I am just listing my views and people can agree or disagree.

Coach Directory - Find Coach - Affordable Coach Directory

Search the most complete coach database. Find Coach.

www.affordablecoachdirectory.com

what you said about resources however is a really good point and if someone can't afford to do something, i guess they would have to unfortunately cross it off as not possible. there are also local agencies that can help, but it's usually just with big pharma pills and therapy, which is mostly "tell me about your feelings" stuff, in my cynical view, that tends to be somewhat pointless for depression

Im starting Emdr therapy soon. Have you done that before?

 

[WatchmeBurn]

It is definitely correct to post here. I'm sorry, but if you've not even tried an antidepressant before, you have no business killing yourself ffs. Some version of this post (I'd change a few things) should be stickied/pinned in future.

The research shows this: MOST PEOPLE will be helped significantly by medication and therapy. If you are reading this and haven't tried it yet, then if you have access to these resources (in the UK anyone can get access to medication, even if not long-term therapy) then it is imperative that you do so. Death should be the absolute last resort, if you can potentially live a happy life then it'd be wrong not to pursue that.

And we should absolutely not allow kids on here. That is gross. Not only will many people be happier once they start living their own lives in their 20s, but someone who is 16/17 simply will not have the time to try enough medications or treatment options to know if they work.

If anything I think OP is not being strict enough. You should need to try more than 2 medications and more than 1-2 therapists. Think of it like assisted dying: you will not be given access to it unless you have unbearable and **incurable** suffering. That means you should have to demonstrate that you have exhausted all treatment options before even considering suicide.

I personally disagree about the dating profile bit. If you're a man, then online dating will often be a pretty harrowing experience, and you're better off trying to meet people in real life, as hard as it is to afford and regularly go to hobby activities when you're depressed. However, again, if you've not even tried it yet, it's pointless NOT to do it. What do you have to lose? Either it doesn't work and you end up killing yourself anyway, or it does work and you can be happier and leave this place. For example, exercise (doing a social sport) can help SOME people's mental health, but not everyone's. Do you know for certain that it doesn't help you? If the answer is no, maybe try it out. General friendship and companionship is perhaps more important than a romantic relationship per se, though I'm not denying the importance of the latter. Nevertheless, it's healthier to find relationships through in person connections as a guy as online dating is simply brutal unless you're in the top 5% of physical attractiveness. It's a lot easier if you're a woman to get dates/matches, though women have other issues surrounding safety, sexual harassment, etc etc, but I can't really say whether it's worth it or not for them because I'm not a woman.

Also, therapy takes a while to work. While the NHS idiotically only give you 6-8 sessions, the efficacy only really kicks in if you go for at least 4 months or so even in milder cases, and for 6-12 months for people with more severe MH issues. Then consider there are multiple types of therapy, that alone could take a couple of years, though tbf I think you will know if it's going to work before the 6 month period. The point is that you should try multiple therapists and multiple types of therapy for at least a few months before giving up on it. Don't just go for the sake of going, really try to engage w/ them and recognise that scientific studies show that this shit really can work, even if it's not guaranteed.

I'm sorry, I'm not "pro forced life" or whatever, but I am confident that a decent chunk of the people here **COULD** live a good life and be happy given how lackadaisical the approach to seeking out mental healthcare is in some threads such that I see people here admit they haven't even tried medication or therapy yet. You owe it to yourself and any loved ones you might have (but mostly to yourself) to at least try. Try your absolute hardest to be happy, and only consider suicide once you have exhausted all options.

I am on medication number 14 and I've tried maybe 8-9 long term therapists and nothing has worked yet for me, so what's stopping you from trying even half of that? Chances are you'll find something that helps you!

this belongs in the recovery section nobody wants self help in the suicide discussion area

i first became suicidal at 18 after a relationship break up i wish i'd kill my self straight away back then because my life never did get any better

The point is that statistically speaking, a lot of people who are suicidal at 18 can and do still find happiness later in their lives. Part of the reason why such a small % of people who have experienced suicidal feelings actually kill themselves is not just because of the forced life attitude of society, but because they simply get better. I'm not saying this is you necessarily (I don't know anything about you), but you cannot possibly know until you try the various treatments available. There's no point looking back in hindsight and saying, oh, I should've done it back then, because for all you knew, you could've genuinely improved.

I don't know if you've tried every medication and type of therapy in the book, and I'm not going to make presumptions about you personally, but encouraging or even permitting people who have barely lived an independent life and who haven't even taken the mainstream treatment options to kill themselves is gravely immoral when, statistically, a majority of them CAN get better.

I may be pro-choice in a broad sense, but I still would rather as few people die young as possible insofar as I'd rather they just be happy and live wholesome and fulfilling lives.

Yes, I agree with some of this stuff. Everyone deserves a fighting chance and a lot can change from 18-30 . The problem is lack of resources, support, and financial access to this for many people

Yeah, this is the tragic part of it all, it is absolutely imperative that wherever we live, we fight for better mental healthcare and functioning public services. Here in the UK things are going downhill rapidly. It's awful. Accessing long-term therapy on the NHS is impossible and waiting times for psychiatrists are very long (GPs will only give you first line stuff).

 

[needthebus]

Sorry but this is total garbage, this should not be in the suicide discussion. I don't see why people have to come here and mock suicidal people, claiming they're "too young" or asking if they've tried excercising yet. Your post would be better received if it wasn't so condescending and accusing suicidal people of being "unfair". Most suicidal people need a lot more than a lot of this pro life drivel.

You're right, I shouldn't say younger people are being unfair.

It would be unfortunate if this site didn't continue to exist because it kept getting so much bad publicity and then people in the future who will suffer, just as much as we've suffered, don't have access to it. Is that a better way of putting it?

Well, I'm officially the most hated SaSu member now.

"Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tends to help people who have fear of abandonment issues." costs around 27k in the uk & Not available on NHS only private.
This post is bait IMO. As others have said belongs in recovery section. Are you writing an essay?

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - actually, is good for 'distress tolerance' maybe your pop psychology mannual missed that bit out?

I hate pop psychology. I am afraid of the site being shut down or going underground. If DBT is too expensive, then it's not an option. DBT tends to be effective for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, who have abandonment issues. Some people don't find DBT helpful.

 

[slinkey10]

You're right, I shouldn't say younger people are being unfair.

It would be unfortunate if this site didn't continue to exist because it kept getting so much bad publicity and then people in the future who will suffer, just as much as we've suffered, don't have access to it. Is that a better way of putting it?

Well, I'm officially the most hated SaSu member now.


I hate pop psychology. I am afraid of the site being shut down or going underground. If DBT is too expensive, then it's not an option. DBT tends to be effective for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, who have abandonment issues. Some people don't find DBT helpful.

also see this post for what DBT can/should be used for ....

Looking at the posts of rich people on social media makes me sad and depressed.

I follow these rich people on social media and see their posts . Looking at their posts makes me feel so empty and hollow. Their lives seems so beautiful and mine so colorless. It triggers me and brings back the desire to ctb.

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[cme-dme]

It is definitely correct to post here. I'm sorry, but if you've not even tried an antidepressant before, you have no business killing yourself ffs. Some version of this post (I'd change a few things) should be stickied/pinned in future.

The research shows this: MOST PEOPLE will be helped significantly by medication and therapy. If you are reading this and haven't tried it yet, then if you have access to these resources (in the UK anyone can get access to medication, even if not long-term therapy) then it is imperative that you do so. Death should be the absolute last resort, if you can potentially live a happy life then it'd be wrong not to pursue that.

And we should absolutely not allow kids on here. That is gross. Not only will many people be happier once they start living their own lives in their 20s, but someone who is 16/17 simply will not have the time to try enough medications or treatment options to know if they work.

If anything I think OP is not being strict enough. You should need to try more than 2 medications and more than 1-2 therapists. Think of it like assisted dying: you will not be given access to it unless you have unbearable and **incurable** suffering. That means you should have to demonstrate that you have exhausted all treatment options before even considering suicide.

I personally disagree about the dating profile bit. If you're a man, then online dating will often be a pretty harrowing experience, and you're better off trying to meet people in real life, as hard as it is to afford and regularly go to hobby activities when you're depressed. However, again, if you've not even tried it yet, it's pointless NOT to do it. What do you have to lose? Either it doesn't work and you end up killing yourself anyway, or it does work and you can be happier and leave this place. For example, exercise (doing a social sport) can help SOME people's mental health, but not everyone's. Do you know for certain that it doesn't help you? If the answer is no, maybe try it out. General friendship and companionship is perhaps more important than a romantic relationship per se, though I'm not denying the importance of the latter. Nevertheless, it's healthier to find relationships through in person connections as a guy as online dating is simply brutal unless you're in the top 5% of physical attractiveness. It's a lot easier if you're a woman to get dates/matches, though women have other issues surrounding safety, sexual harassment, etc etc, but I can't really say whether it's worth it or not for them because I'm not a woman.

Also, therapy takes a while to work. While the NHS idiotically only give you 6-8 sessions, the efficacy only really kicks in if you go for at least 4 months or so even in milder cases, and for 6-12 months for people with more severe MH issues. Then consider there are multiple types of therapy, that alone could take a couple of years, though tbf I think you will know if it's going to work before the 6 month period. The point is that you should try multiple therapists and multiple types of therapy for at least a few months before giving up on it. Don't just go for the sake of going, really try to engage w/ them and recognise that scientific studies show that this shit really can work, even if it's not guaranteed.

I'm sorry, I'm not "pro forced life" or whatever, but I am confident that a decent chunk of the people here **COULD** live a good life and be happy given how lackadaisical the approach to seeking out mental healthcare is in some threads such that I see people here admit they haven't even tried medication or therapy yet. You owe it to yourself and any loved ones you might have (but mostly to yourself) to at least try. Try your absolute hardest to be happy, and only consider suicide once you have exhausted all options.

I am on medication number 14 and I've tried maybe 8-9 long term therapists and nothing has worked yet for me, so what's stopping you from trying even half of that? Chances are you'll find something that helps you!


The point is that statistically speaking, a lot of people who are suicidal at 18 can and do still find happiness later in their lives. Part of the reason why such a small % of people who have experienced suicidal feelings actually kill themselves is not just because of the forced life attitude of society, but because they simply get better. I'm not saying this is you necessarily (I don't know anything about you), but you cannot possibly know until you try the various treatments available. There's no point looking back in hindsight and saying, oh, I should've done it back then, because for all you knew, you could've genuinely improved.

I don't know if you've tried every medication and type of therapy in the book, and I'm not going to make presumptions about you personally, but encouraging or even permitting people who have barely lived an independent life and who haven't even taken the mainstream treatment options to kill themselves is gravely immoral when, statistically, a majority of them CAN get better.

I may be pro-choice in a broad sense, but I still would rather as few people die young as possible insofar as I'd rather they just be happy and live wholesome and fulfilling lives.


Yeah, this is the tragic part of it all, it is absolutely imperative that wherever we live, we fight for better mental healthcare and functioning public services. Here in the UK things are going downhill rapidly. It's awful. Accessing long-term therapy on the NHS is impossible and waiting times for psychiatrists are very long (GPs will only give you first line stuff).

I appreciate the sentiment but to be honest, I have already tried to fix myself. I've pretty much given up. Going through this whole game just to make my monkey brain stop hating itself is not worth it to me. I'm just ready to leave at this point...

 

[slinkey10]

You're right, I shouldn't say younger people are being unfair.

It would be unfortunate if this site didn't continue to exist because it kept getting so much bad publicity and then people in the future who will suffer, just as much as we've suffered, don't have access to it. Is that a better way of putting it?

Well, I'm officially the most hated SaSu member now.


I hate pop psychology. I am afraid of the site being shut down or going underground. If DBT is too expensive, then it's not an option. DBT tends to be effective for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, who have abandonment issues. Some people don't find DBT helpful.

Have you experienced using DBT yourself? how did it help? & yes only available private in the UK, I got a quote for mysef through a lawyer 27k for 6 mths at the Priory Hospital - private company in the UK where mainly celebs go.

"Well, I'm officially the most hated SaSu member now." - no I respect you have voiced your opinion and hope you continue to do so!
I apolagise for calling your OP bait. :)

 

[E Butler]

I like how we've just accepted people with chronic pain should die immediately.

 

[Namelesa]

I won't really call this a pro-choice post. Its a pro-choice under certain conditions. Being pro-choice would mean allowing anyone the freedom to die no matter what reason (aside from few exceptions like being a parent.) While this should be recommended to people who are considering to suicide but still want to give recovery ago, no one should have to do even one of these things if they don't want to. Recovery is really really difficult and I shouldn't have to do that for others cus I was forced into this mess. Its my all parents' fault for creating me that this happened, I don't owe them anything good especially as they trap me. I would say they deserve punishment and to grief from my suicide.