There’s a gun here.

[pastyle]

I live in NYC. Guns are very hard to come by.
My brother briefly mentioned that in one of our brothers duffel bags, there's a gun. I looked in it a couple days ago and it was. It's still there.

I held it just for a couple seconds. It's heavy.
Ever since I found out about this, I feel like a time bomb.
Unless he takes this gun and moves it, I'm going to shoot myself sooner or later. There's no doubt about it. It's in my head every hour, I can't sleep thinking about it.
I'm a minor inconvenience away from making a mess on my living room couch. Worst part is I don't know what to do.

 

[stopMotionSickness]

The best thing that's worked for me is adding constraints onto the plan, instead of resisting it outright. Specifically choose a location at least an hour away. Like idk what your relationship is with your family, but if you can find any respect for them or the place you're living in, consider how doing it there would traumatize them and deeply "mark" the place with death, even after a deep-clean (which will take place and displace everyone there). I'm from the NY area originally, so there's plenty of beautiful places just down the Hudson North line I could point you to. I always figured I wanted my time to be secluded and scenic, and the walk to the places has on multiple occasions diffused the pain and saved me. It's getting pretty warm now, too, so walking about shouldn't feel too bad either. I won't be online for very long right now, but I'll be around in the next few days if you ever wanna DM. Just hang in there!

 

[pastyle]

The best thing that's worked for me is adding constraints onto the plan, instead of resisting it outright. Specifically choose a location at least an hour away. Like idk what your relationship is with your family, but if you can find any respect for them or the place you're living in, consider how doing it there would traumatize them and deeply "mark" the place with death, even after a deep-clean (which will take place and displace everyone there). I'm from the NY area originally, so there's plenty of beautiful places just down the Hudson North line I could point you to. I always figured I wanted my time to be secluded and scenic, and the walk to the places has on multiple occasions diffused the pain and saved me. It's getting pretty warm now, too, so walking about shouldn't feel too bad either. I won't be online for very long right now, but I'll be around in the next few days if you ever wanna DM. Just hang in there!

I just tried taking it from the bag. My other brother walked in when I was unzipping the bag and I had to leave the room.
I have a feeling he knows.

 

[stolenvalor666]

My dad has a gun. I held it in my hands and then pointed it at my head with my finger on the trigger. Obviously im not going to ctb at home because thats where my family is. I want to be a long way away from them so they dont have to witness me or anything. But sometimes I find myself going back into my parents' room to get the gun and keep holding it to my head. Its been on my mind constantly. What's worse is that im not even scared. I just dont want my family to be traumatized.