The universe is telling me to ctb

[CantDoIt]

Does anyone else feel this way? Essentially, that a combination of rare but specific events or life choices led up to your specific circumstances of depression?
Maybe you have a condition that almost no one gets, maybe you made all of the wrong decisions, etc.
But you ended up in a uniquely bad spot or something that, to you, feels that way.
I personally get this feeling often and often have this weird thought that I'm being "taught a lesson" for previous actions and decisions.
It feels like I'm being guided towards ctb or something, I don't even care if it's a psychotic episode for me to say that, I am feeling sure I was meant to die early. Like I took a wrong turn somewhere during life and ended up somewhere I shouldn't. But the choice has already been made for me. The die was cast from the start to create in me a specific fate.

 

[fleetingnight]

Yeah. It feels like every time I learn to manage/fix one of the problems in my life, two new ones arrise in its place. Sometimes, I feel like it can't be a coincidence, and a higher power must be trying to coerce me into suicide.

 

[Lost Magic]

I understand. Depression and life has me so utterly drained, that I barely have the energy to do even the most rudimentary tasks. It's so frustrating to have to do the same shit day in and day out.