the thought and security blanket of suicide really comforts me

[SufferingInDenmark]

only bad thing about it, is how difficult suicide can be to do successfully

 

[-RedBirdOnASkull-]

I hear you, knowing that my setup is up and ready, is the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes.
life is just a burden these days.

 

[Lamentice]

only bad thing about it, is how difficult suicide can be to do successfully

Agreed. I live in an extremely harsh winter climate, we've got a nice bridge over a huge lake, my way out will be hopping that bridge into hypothermic waters. Helps that I can't swim, although you never know what the body will come up with in survival mode, so doing it right before the lake freezes over is extra security. I'm not actively planning to do this right now... it's just there, in the back of my head, as a fail-safe.

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

I hear you, knowing that my setup is up and ready, is the only thing that gets me through the day sometimes.
life is just a burden these days.

yup. can i ask what your setup includes?

Agreed. I live in an extremely harsh winter climate, we've got a nice bridge over a huge lake, my way out will be hopping that bridge into hypothermic waters. Helps that I can't swim, although you never know what the body will come up with in survival mode, so doing it right before the lake freezes over is extra security. I'm not actively planning to do this right now... it's just there, in the back of my head, as a fail-safe.

i see, yes exactly. i'm still not 100% decided on my method, but i have my "so far" choices

 

[ifihadnever]

I'm beginning to worry that ive spent so much time 'thinking' and 'researching suicide that it's become a security blanket for me instead of an action. I think knowing there is the option to end your life can be helpful to some and get people through certain situations. but I genuinely do wish to end it but am worried that all this 'over thinking' has backfired. I also totally underestimated how damn difficult it is to take that finial step to end ones life until I couldn't do it myself. Totally overlooked that. Currently very frustrated with myself to put it mildly!

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, for me non-existence is just the only relief and comfort, all that can bring me peace from this torturous, painful existence I always saw as the most terrible mistake is to peacefully cease existing and never suffer again, all I see as positive is non-existence where this abomination is all gone and forgotten, I just hope and wish to erase this existence.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

i feel you, it's what made each day survivable at the very least, in addition to sleeping pills. now i only have 9 days left remaining. i've got my setup ready, and i can't be anymore excited to finally end this painful suffering, once and for all

 

[monetpompo]

I genuinely do wish to end it but am worried that all this 'over thinking' has backfired. I also totally underestimated how damn difficult it is to take that finial step to end ones life until I couldn't do it myself. Totally overlooked that. Currently very frustrated with myself to put it mildly!

the constant deliberation and research makes suicide more conceptual. it's something i struggle a lot with myself. i can lay in bed with my eyes closed imagining me going through the steps all day but i'll still be nervous dealing with the gagging and suffocation from psh/fsh. pushing past the fear after all the research stops being useful is the hardest part, since you could research forever. sasu people are also just really paranoid.

 

[-RedBirdOnASkull-]

yup. can i ask what your setup includes?

Sure, a sturdy rope, a folding stool that i can carry with me, a nice spot in the woods where i used to go years ago, very secluded and wild, and a bus ticket. I know for sure that nobody will never find me there, it's comforting to me knowing that people that care about me will think i just decided to leave, disappear, or something like that.
You know... if they're not sure about something, they can still have hope that i'm not dead, even if in the back off their mind, they already know the truth.

It's exactly like the hope i have these days, hope that i still can get better, and go back to live my life as i was before, healthy and full of joy, but deep in me i know that it's just pointless to keep trying. but still.. here i am, fighting my way out of pain every single day.