"Write a gratitude journal! #blessed"
"You'll feel better if you have some hot tea and a warm bath. Use a bath bomb for extra soothing! #selfcare"
"If you're in debt, stop drinking lattes at Starbucks. Don't go out to eat. Just live miserably until it's all paid off, as though that's a life worth living."
"You'll feel better if you're in therapy and taking meds."
"You just haven't tried hard enough to feel better."
"Take more walks!"
"Eat more vegetables."
"Try a low-FODMAP diet."
"Depression is a choice."
"Why haven't you tried losing weight?"
"Drink this kale smoothie; it'll make you feel better!"
"Clean your room."
"Call 1-800-SUICIDE, have the cops break your door down, and spend two weeks in the psych ward only to be billed for $1,000 afterward!"
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
I could be here all fucking day with the inane advice I've heard from therapists, doctors, health websites, and hotlines.