DrowningWithin
All I wanted
- Jan 23, 2025
- 18
I've attempted many times throughout the years even in my teens.
I used to attempt over a girl I loved, but I realize now my life weighs much more. I face the burden of still wanting to leave but having an incredible family. A family that loves me deeply. The pain is so immense everyday, my guilt runs deep and it feels like there's no escape.
Maybe I am more aware of the damage I'll do, but it's so heavy that in itself feels an endless loop of guilt that threatens to make you throw up.
I almost envy those with nothing to lose, because in many aspects that is me too.
But if I really did have nothing to lose, this wouldn't be nearly as hard. I love my sister and my mom.
I love them so much and I only try to convince them that this isn't goodbye forever.
I used to attempt over a girl I loved, but I realize now my life weighs much more. I face the burden of still wanting to leave but having an incredible family. A family that loves me deeply. The pain is so immense everyday, my guilt runs deep and it feels like there's no escape.
Maybe I am more aware of the damage I'll do, but it's so heavy that in itself feels an endless loop of guilt that threatens to make you throw up.
I almost envy those with nothing to lose, because in many aspects that is me too.
But if I really did have nothing to lose, this wouldn't be nearly as hard. I love my sister and my mom.
I love them so much and I only try to convince them that this isn't goodbye forever.
