Venting The end is near

[Kazu Ha]

I actually wanted to hold out until New Year's Eve and then take my worthless life sometime in January.
But the way I'm feeling right now, I don't know if I can hold out for those few days.

Maybe I'm just acting weird because of sleep withdrawal.
I just spontaneously took two diazepam pills. I know it's stupid.

But I can't take it anymore.
I just want to sleep. Forever.

I think I'd better lock up my SN before I get any stupid ideas and break the protocol...

Trauma and BPD are taking over right now. I don't know what's going on.
At least I feel safe here. Thank you, SaSu community.
I've been hiding for years, but at least here I feel understood.

 

[Alexandra_]

I wish you good luck, I understand your pain because I feel the same way