MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
I know what you mean. I lost all my hair during the chemos and got people staring at me and making rude remarks all the time. It felt so uncomfortable and made wish I didn't have to leave the house again. But I had to work in order to pay for my treatments. Now I chose to discontinue any further treatment and hope I can gather the strength to finally end it.
And this is one of those things that make me sick about the human race. Its one thing to factor in looks when it comes to dating and choosing romantic/sexual partners,its another thing entirely to disrespect someone for something completely outside their control. Some people even get denied job opportunities because they don't qualify as good-looking. Its a massive injustice.
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Fcxk that sounds brutal. i am really sorry to hear that.
Yeah. I used to be very pretty, I think anyone in my situation would commit suicide. I want to die so bad, just scared to kill myself
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
I'm in a similar situation-do you mind saying what is wrong with you healthwise?
Everytime I take a medicine even just for a week, it ages me decades. My eyes are shrunken like an old lady and my skin is saggy. What happened to you?
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
Yes but the funny thing is ctb has literally become a responsibility. If you procrastinate it and don't overcome the survival instinct. You seriously risk the depression/mental illness getting even worse over time to where it may start hindering you to the point where you lose your resources/ability to be able to ctb. Someone may find out about your plan to ctb and call the cops, you may get in a car crash tomorrow to where your disabled for the rest of your life so now you can't ctb since you are under supervision being taken care of until you die of old age paralyzed in a wheelchair when you could have just ctb today but instead you wanted to wait until next week.
 
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S

samhelloall9

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
297
We all know how survival instinct is a bitch which makes us unwittingly accept a declining quality of life, social - economic status etc. we are forever procrastinating when to take actions but I am so scared that it would get to a point which makes ctbing physically impossible. Anyone else feels the same way?
Seems to be how I'm heading against my will. All due to others selfishness, others lack of communication and others incompetence.
Fudge :(
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Wouldn't you commit suicide if you were me?
Yeah. Did you have a promising love interest before the accident? That would've sent me over the edge like Tom Cruise' character
 
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I

Iscrewupeverything

Member
May 26, 2018
44
My quality declined rapidly overnight. As, I was facially disfigured. Think you guys got problems? Imagine your whole life coming to an end, only you have to live through your death as if you're in purgatory. I haven't killed myself yet bc the pain of it scares me. There has to be an easier way to do it

What was your life like before then? What was your social and romantic life like? What was your job/career like? What did people think of you? How has this changed in each area?

Do people flake on you now, or has that increased; have certain people backed off from you?
 
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Fcancer

Fcancer

Student
Sep 24, 2018
184
I hate it, I just want my health back so I can continue to live a somewhat normal(for me anyway) life. Although that is impossible now.
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Yeah. Did you have a promising love interest before the accident? That would've sent me over the edge like Tom Cruise' character
No, but I had a crush on someone who went back to his ex. They are now engaged. And now that I am fucked when it comes to dating, he is all I think about
 
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MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
No, but I had a crush on someone who went back to his ex. They are now engaged. And now that I am fucked when it comes to dating, he is all I think about
Sorry to hear about what happened to you. I wish you luck with catching the bus. It is indeed very hard(in some cases,impossible)to have any quality of life whatsoever after such an incident. I recommend overdosing on heroin,if you have access to it. (I currently don't,sadly.)
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Sorry to hear about what happened to you. I wish you luck with catching the bus. It is indeed very hard(in some cases,impossible)to have any quality of life whatsoever after such an incident. I recommend overdosing on heroin,if you have access to it. (I currently don't,sadly.)
I don't know if an OD is a sure method. It might not kill me. I was thinking partial suspension hanging. Why do you want to ctb?
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
What was your life like before then? What was your social and romantic life like? What was your job/career like? What did people think of you? How has this changed in each area?

Do people flake on you now, or has that increased; have certain people backed off from you?
I was very beautiful and social. I was looking for a bf, had a lot of men interested in me. I just finished my masters and ready to work, so looking for work. I haven't left the house much since this happened, so o can't tell you how people treat me. You can email me to talk more tiffykutz @ gmail. It might help me to talk to someone who gets it
 
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Swisher

Swisher

Black as coal
Sep 9, 2018
388
I was very beautiful and social. I was looking for a bf, had a lot of men interested in me. I just finished my masters and ready to work, so looking for work. I haven't left the house much since this happened, so o can't tell you how people treat me. You can email me to talk more tiffykutz @ gmail. It might help me to talk to someone who gets it
Ikeep having to return to the hospital because my brain is bleeding. Apparently, I won't die but I did lose my sight in my right eyeby ignoring it ...and now its too painful to ignore. I keep losing people and missing conversations. When I return to the hospital it will be the 6th time. When the server went down, I thought I lost everyone. Losing a boyfriend is like experiencing a death. Its so painful, the deepest ache...I wish it on no one ( a few idiots maybe) , anyway, if anyone wants to talk, ever, (I cannot logon to sanctioned suicide in the hospital!) please write me if you like. I know how you feel. [email protected]. I want to more be us all into my house! & help each other...wouldn't that be great. Someone who just made certain I kept getting my liquid morphine as I slept...I've been warned of the dangers of partnering...I mean MY GOD! WHAT IF SOMEONE KILLS ME?!!?
 
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MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
I don't know if an OD is a sure method. It might not kill me. I was thinking partial suspension hanging.
The appeal of an heroin OD is that assuming you fail to fatally OD,chances are the damage will be minimal,you'll likely just wake up with a nasty feeling. (This is unlike shooting yourself,jumping off a building,or getting run over by a train. If you screw that one up,there will be permanent and life-altering consequences. Failure with hanging yourself tends to also result in your becoming a vegetable)

That's only with heroin specifically however. I can't speak about trying with other kinds of drugs other than Nembutal(which is even harder to access than heroin if I'm not mistaken.)

Why do you want to ctb?
Complete uncertainty of a happy future in my case. I'm a college student,and through sheer force of luck,I've managed to reach the point where I am now and I'm near graduation,but I'm aware that there is still no guarantee,I could still fuck up and my life could fall apart at any moment. I don't like studying. (I like reading about a variety of other topics,but what I'm studying specifically is something I have no real interest in and actually hate studying.)

Even in the best case scenario that I pass college,I'm likely to end up just as a typical 9-5 wage slave. I don't want that future. I mentioned awhile ago here that I'm trying to convince my mom to buy a business video course from a guy I trust so that the both of us could possibly start a business of our own and
hopefully
escape 9-5 wage slavery. Of course,even this doesn't guarantee anything. If the worst-case scenario happens and I fail at everything,I certainly want an option to mercy kill myself. Unfortunately,my options are rather limited. I might end up having to settle for partial/full suspension hanging,though if the time comes,hopefully I'll have access to more painless and peaceful methods.
 
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I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
The appeal of an heroin OD is that assuming you fail to fatally OD,chances are the damage will be minimal,you'll likely just wake up with a nasty feeling. (This is unlike shooting yourself,jumping off a building,or getting run over by a train. If you screw that one up,there will be permanent and life-altering consequences. Failure with hanging yourself tends to also result in your becoming a vegetable)

That's only with heroin specifically however. I can't speak about trying with other kinds of drugs other than Nembutal(which is even harder to access than heroin if I'm not mistaken.)


Complete uncertainty of a happy future in my case. I'm a college student,and through sheer force of luck,I've managed to reach the point where I am now and I'm near graduation,but I'm aware that there is still no guarantee,I could still fuck up and my life could fall apart at any moment. I don't like studying. (I like reading about a variety of other topics,but what I'm studying specifically is something I have no real interest in and actually hate studying.)

Even in the best case scenario that I pass college,I'm likely to end up just as a typical 9-5 wage slave. I don't want that future. I mentioned awhile ago here that I'm trying to convince my mom to buy a business video course from a guy I trust so that the both of us could possibly start a business of our own and
hopefully
escape 9-5 wage slavery. Of course,even this doesn't guarantee anything. If the worst-case scenario happens and I fail at everything,I certainly want an option to mercy kill myself. Unfortunately,my options are rather limited. I might end up having to settle for partial/full suspension hanging,though if the time comes,hopefully I'll have access to more painless and peaceful methods.
You can still get brain damage from a heroin od https://www.biausa.org/public-affai...opioid-overdose-increase-continues-nationwide

Best way is to hire someone to kill you
 
I

Iscrewupeverything

Member
May 26, 2018
44
I was very beautiful and social. I was looking for a bf, had a lot of men interested in me. I just finished my masters and ready to work, so looking for work. I haven't left the house much since this happened, so o can't tell you how people treat me. You can email me to talk more tiffykutz @ gmail. It might help me to talk to someone who gets it

If I had talked to you before this accident, you would have told me to fuck off, and rightfully so. I'm a massive creep, and I don't get it at all, I have the understanding of a child.
 
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