Venting The Comfort's Gone

[kovu]

When I think about ctb'ing, I always picture myself back at home - the room at my mother's. Ever since moving out, I haven't been able to regain that specific kind of comfort. I thought everything would get better, but it all just feels so much more detached and meaningless. Maybe it's just rose-coloured glasses, I did want to get away from there more than anything, but I'd like to go back now. Even if it's just a week, followed by another attempt - a successful one, this time.

But now that it's gone, and everything's off, I noticed a hotel on my way to work. As far as I'm to understand, you don't have to interact with anyone to get a room - everything's easy and contactless. I'd already have the money, only a bit of courage and my next weekend could be my last. I've already gotten far enough with partial hanging to feel confident in this method - and it should be easy to replicate there. Only the comfort would be missing.

I suppose this is my current Plan A for when I can't take it anymore, enough to call it quits.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't find anything at all in this life to be comforting, apart from the thought of being dead. There doesn't seem to be much relief from suffering in this life for a lot of people, to me life is just endless misery. But I do think that losing things are inevitable in life, if you have something that you see as being positive in some way then it will eventually end, causing negative feelings. It's just the way that life is. I envy those with the courage for hanging, I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time feels right for you to leave.

 

[kovu]

I don't find anything at all in this life to be comforting, apart from the thought of being dead. There doesn't seem to be much relief from suffering in this life for a lot of people, to me life is just endless misery. But I do think that losing things are inevitable in life, if you have something that you see as being positive in some way then it will eventually end, causing negative feelings. It's just the way that life is. I envy those with the courage for hanging, I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time feels right for you to leave.

I can barely remember anything positive, it rather feels as if everything negative is turning even worse. And all else is just stale, which is negative per se. Still, thank you; I wish you the same.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear the comfort is gone and much like what FuneralCry said, loss is inevitable in this life and most of life itself is just suffering. Humans do distract themselves pretty well to avoid uncomfortable topics and subject matters but most people on this forum are at least open to discuss about the taboo and difficult subjects that may not be openly discussed out in the world. Anyways, I wish you the best in whatever choice you decide on taking.

 

[kovu]

I'm sorry to hear the comfort is gone and much like what FuneralCry said, loss is inevitable in this life and most of life itself is just suffering. Humans do distract themselves pretty well to avoid uncomfortable topics and subject matters but most people on this forum are at least open to discuss about the taboo and difficult subjects that may not be openly discussed out in the world. Anyways, I wish you the best in whatever choice you decide on taking.

I think I've already made my decision, now it's only a waiting game. It just would've been great if my attempt a year ago had succeeded - back where I had that familiar kind of comfort. Nonetheless, thank you~

 

[Misery99]

Life is endless suffering for me. I'v always been unhappy and lonely. I understand your pain. It's a never ending cycle in life. I can't understand how some people can be so happy and in positive mood. Wish I was like them but I can't be.

 

[makethepainstop]

The comfort is gone? I've never had much comfort to begin with.