Terrible parasite of a human. Punishment really deserved.

[jbleakness]

So this may be a bit of a wild and crazy post It doesnt bother me anymore and it will be all over the place. And I suck at writing or whatever.

I've been spiraling and looking for answers. Not knowing what the truth is and not believing the lies I tell myself.

My dad was homeless for 12+ years and died of an overdose 2 years ago. He was a good man but extremely abusive aswell and beat every partner he was with. He beat my mom, fought cops, killed animals. Said he has ptsd but I think he was just a psychopath that used his diagnosis as an excuse. But part of him had a good heart and he helped me alot financially when he entered my life again.

-Now I think I am much WORSE. Got married with a girl who is also bat shit crazy. Cheated on her probably 15+ times. Never hit her, but manipulated, lied, and exploited her over and over again. We are still friends. We still hang out. We slept on an air mattress.

-I constantly lie and play the victim to get what I want. I blew through my dads money in excess of 100K traveling, partying, just being a piece of shit in general. Not thinking of anyone else. Thats been me my whole life.

Theres alot more to this story if anyone wants to chime in but....Ill leave it at that and not write a novel.

 

[jbleakness]

Responding to my own thread. What am i looking for. Who fucking knows.

Pathetically reaching out maybe?

How do I end it?

 

[failure383]

Yea, sounds like a bad person to me. Both of you. I don't understand where you are trying to go with your thread.

How do I end it?

That's too much of a generalized question to answer properly without more information.