Terminal.

[The anhedonic one]

When you have finally reached the bottom of the pit of despair and have absolutely nothing left to lose, you just know that your time is coming.
You don't even have the fear of death to lose anymore, because you have already died inside.

I'm thinking of this stage as having some kind of terminal illness.
You know that death is inevitable because you have gone beyond any chance of recovery and what is left of this thing called life is just a waiting game.

Because you have finally broken, once and for all, and absolutely nothing, or no-one can ever put you back together again.

 

[Aisley]

All the deaths you've experienced are the ones that make up the system that people call life. The next one is simply the physical system.

All will be well, and everything is in your hands. But you deserve a good method. I hope you have one, cuz you've been through enough horror.

 

[The anhedonic one]

All the deaths you've experienced are the ones that make up the system that people call life. The next one is simply the physical system.

All will be well, and everything is in your hands. But you deserve a good method. I hope you have one, cuz you've been through enough horror.

Thanks Aisley, I love you Man.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

I can relate so much with this post. It does really feel like a terminal illness. And the moment you realize it will eventually kill you, it changes you forever. But the more interesting thing is that it doesn't bother me anymore. Somehow I feel content. I wonder why...

 

[Aisley]

Thanks Aisley, I love you Man.

I love you too, and I will hate to lose you when the time comes.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I can relate so much with this post. It does really feel like a terminal illness. And the moment you realize it will eventually kill you, it changes you forever. But the more interesting thing is that it doesn't bother me anymore. Somehow I feel content. I wonder why...

I think it's because we have finally let go, and have died to that part of us that clings to hope.

 

[MrDarkness]

That's a good way to put, im just waiting for my time, I can't change my fate, I can't change my looks, I just want to die, but my calling isn't happening just yet..

 

[XdragonsoulX]

Very well put, dunno what stage I'm at, but I know it gets worse everyday fighting it. There will always be the bittersweet ending waiting for me

 

[90starve]

most of the time, i feel i don't have the right to feel this way since i am still young - but i do feel like this very often. at this point, i can't un-see all of this evil that corrupts our world. life can never get better for me because i already know too much, yet also hardly know anything at all.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Life is the disease.... Death is the cure !!!!


As time goes on, the less I fear death. If it wasn't for family, I could move on. I feel your pain.
I hope when you go it will be peaceful.

 

[Hollowman]

Really relatable, I've been terminal for quite awhile now. I'm pretty sure I have bpd too, tried to fight it for decades and it won. I'm comfortably numb atm just trying to wait out one last person.

 

[day]

Sorry to hear the suffering has continued to eat at you OP.. only been on this forum for a short while but can always seem to relate to you in-particularly rather well.

I hope one day you find peace OP, the world has been to cruel to you…

 

[suicidalloser]

i just want to die, there isn't a until/finally moment/broken. i just want to die.