Help Telling friends about wanting to CTB

[sdk]

I'm going over to the only friends (a couple) I have left in a few days, how can I tell them that I need help and, lately, have been seriously considering the option of suicide? Should I, even?

Background: I am trying to recover. At first, it was mostly due to feeling guilty for hurting others. Then, as I accepted the decision to CBT and started working towards doing it, most of the weight was somehow lifted, and now I'm back to therapy. Have been prescribed SSRIs but hesitant to take them, due to all the side-effects, instead I got my hands on some LSD and planning to try for a mental reset with a "hero-dose". I know this is a bit ridiculous but I can't deny that the prospect of a magic cure is very exiting, it's what got me to keep going this past couple of weeks.

But honestly, I've had depression for most of my life, with last two years being particularly bad. No longer think I am strong enough to do this by myself.

 

[alonely]

I tend to ease into the topic and see how they respond, in a way that i can back out if they freak out. It's probably not the most healthy way to do it, and I've only done it a few times, so not really sure. "I just want to give up" "I'm too exhausted to continue with things" idk. If they respond well then maybe then I can really say it the way I mean it. It's just the fear of them getting me warded if I misplace my trust. Honestly best case scenario imo is them saying they have felt similar things before. It's easier to relate that way.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

That's a pretty difficult question and giving clear a clear answer like yes or no here is impossible. Obviously you want to seek help actively and you want to recover. That's great!

Are your friends REAL FRIENDS? I mean would they go with you through everything? How long do you know them? Which kind of help do you expect from them?

If you decide to talk about your ctb thought you might try to start talking about it very slowly so your friends don't get a "shock". Have you thought of professional help? But there could be a risk of being sent to a psych ward in the worst case.

I wish you all the best and I hope you can find a way to recover!

 

[SoftWorries]

I'm a huge advocate for psychedelics but I really don't suggest you take a heroic dose and try for a reset.

Have you taken psychedelics before? Did you read about sometime taking a heroic dose and feeling better after?

Acid is fantastic and you should feel happy about it. You should probably try to find a trip sitter on Reddit or on the website Trip Sit to keep you company during.