tbh I don't know why I'm still on here

[Cauliflour]

I did nothing meaningful in my life to make me want to kill myself less, I just slowly stopped thinking about it as much to the point where I think more about potential YouTube video scripts more than I think about wanting to cause proper fucked up injuries to myself, which used to be so common a year ago that I started keeping a daily counter. Maybe it's just seeped its way into the subconsious, maybe it's just distracted cause I'm in a busy spot currently or maybe I'm just actually way healthier than I think and that I'm a poser this entire time. Nevermind the fact it's closing in on 5 years since I started cutting, it comes and goes, it'll come back soon (it better come back soon, my arms are starting to look naked). Really just shows therapy would be pointless to someone like me who can just "get better" randomly in a week or 2 for a week or month. Also this guarantees I can't make a cool autobiography because the writing would be atrocious "oh yeah it's just dissapeared eventually, no quest, no goal" like that's not how you write a compelling story!

Still sticking around though, I've been on here for a while now, feels weird to ditch it. Definitely doesn't feel the same though, I don't feel like I'm on a similar wavelength to everyone else here anymore, but I sure as hell don't feel like I'm on the same wavelength as the normies. Guess I'm just destined to be a loner...