I wake up every single day wishing that I could just die and, I regret not doing so last year. I will be gone very soon but it's just a matter of time & getting the funds. Living is expensive & dying is aswell, I'm trying to decide on whether or not to blow my brains out or decapitate myself under the rails of a train. I'm thinking of going somewhere very far so that my family can't find me, I'm at a point where I no longer care about my family or friends, I don't care about how they feel and I don't care if they feel hurt after my death. It was BOUND to happen and it's going to happen very soon, I hope. I can't wait to leave this fucking world. I genuinely don't even feel like a person anymore, I feel like I have died a very long time ago and what's left of me now is the past remnants of who I used to be. No one understands or knows how badly I want to die, no one understands the heaviness I feel everyday. This isn't even living, it's pure survival. I'm sick of it.
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,886
I really understand, I also just wish to be gone, all I want is to never suffer in this torturous and futile existence ever again, I hope you find the freedom you search for, I wish you the best.
SmilingNoMore
Paragon
- Nov 25, 2024
- 977
Sorry you feel this way and for what you are going through. I can relate to feeling empty and merely existing or surviving as opposed to living. Whatever happens, and whichever way you decide, know that you are not alone. I hope you find peace and calmness within and that the heaviness may get lighter while on this path, sending you hugs.
Dejected 55
Mage
- May 7, 2025
- 593
Far too much of existence for all of us is just survival. We live in the pretense of modern society where we are not animals... and yet... everything we do is just survival. When people ask if it can be better or try and suggest ways for reality to be different, perhaps better, too many in society either like things the way they are because it suits them OR they just ignore you or don't at all understand why you see all the horrible and wince while they either enjoy it or shrug it off.
We could have such a better world and very few people would have to sacrifice anything... but the people who need to sacrifice the most are the ones who want to sacrifice the least. In fact, most of them want you to sacrifice more for them even your your sacrifices for them matter very little. They just don't want you to have or be happy. It's almost perverse how many strive to keep status quo when it is miserable for increasingly more people every day.
We could be so much better... but instead of living, most of us merely exist and many of us struggle to survive. We are in survival mode just to make it another day, and we shouldn't have to live this way. Most of the world's problems are man-made. Some quite literally so... and if you dare speak out about it, you are the one told to seek treatment or change to fit in or you are told others have it worse and look how they made it... as if we all should be living in our worst nightmares and using survival techniques just to get to the next day.
It's horrible... and most either don't care OR are complicit in the way of the world OR are like us and struggling too hard to maintain our level of horrible to really meaningfully impact anyone else positively.
Stop the world, I want to get off.
We could have such a better world and very few people would have to sacrifice anything... but the people who need to sacrifice the most are the ones who want to sacrifice the least. In fact, most of them want you to sacrifice more for them even your your sacrifices for them matter very little. They just don't want you to have or be happy. It's almost perverse how many strive to keep status quo when it is miserable for increasingly more people every day.
We could be so much better... but instead of living, most of us merely exist and many of us struggle to survive. We are in survival mode just to make it another day, and we shouldn't have to live this way. Most of the world's problems are man-made. Some quite literally so... and if you dare speak out about it, you are the one told to seek treatment or change to fit in or you are told others have it worse and look how they made it... as if we all should be living in our worst nightmares and using survival techniques just to get to the next day.
It's horrible... and most either don't care OR are complicit in the way of the world OR are like us and struggling too hard to maintain our level of horrible to really meaningfully impact anyone else positively.
Stop the world, I want to get off.
I too am sorry you are feeling this way. And I can absolutely relate. These days, I feel a lot like I am sleepwalking my way through life. Not really that excited about life or anything goin into it. I constantly try to do things that I have been interested and super passionate about in the past and nowadays, they just do nothing for me. It's like I'm just killing time in my life. I too go to bed every night thinking to myself "please don't wake up" because it would be such a peaceful day to go out (in theory). Instead of just getting up in this existence that I don't really get all that excited to be a part of.
eupdplishlp
Please share with me what you are bearing
- Jul 15, 2025
- 170
stop the world i want to get off indeed is another bit of genius. I wish the whole world spoke their mind as freely as this.
I am truly sorry for your pain and suffering. You have done well to continue surviving this long. my pm is always open if you'd like a chat
