Suicide prevention (funny answers only)

[SchizoGymnast]

Stop being an asshole
Provide emotional support cat

What are your ideas?

 

[Seered Doom]

Don't be a pissy missy

 

[Rynalia]

More espresso less depresso

 

[Saturn_]

stop trauma dumping????????????

 

[2messdup]

Don't be a pissy missy

That's funny as hell

More espresso less depresso

Love these

 

[SchizoGymnast]

More vodka please

 

[Parasitism]

Cheer up, it might never happen

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Have you tried getting a boyfriend?

 

[EmptyBottle]

Don't die, go dry (doubles as some sobriety phrase)

 

[LaetumCat]

dont die, that shit kills you!!

 

[hippiedeath]

You got too much pain on the brain

 

[EmptyBottle]

"Want to die? In under 80 years, you probably will"

 

[Pluto]

 

[leloyon]

*BANG*
another job well done boys, cant commit suicide if someone kills you first.

 

[The Morningstar]

Turn them into a quadruple amputee and give them a feeding tube + IV.
Oh, wait, "funny," uhhhhhhhhhhh...

 

[brokenspirited]

Death will happen anyway. Why bother?

 

[amerie]

You're too thicc to kill yourself, I will miss hearing your big juicy ass clap within a 5 mile radius if you pass, especially with the rise of ozempic

 

[brokenspirited]

 

[moribundwhispers]

you can always do it tomorrow

 

[Unsure and Useless]

Don't die because then you'll be reincarnated as an NPC in an explicit NTR manga where your significant other "falls in love" with the asshole that has aura

 

[The Morningstar]

"Water without SN tastes better than with it."

Plaster that on billboards with the SHP number

 

[LoiteringClouds]

"Suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem, as you'll reincarnate after you CTB and will continue to suffer forever. Do you think it's the definition of hell? - Welcome to hell."

 

[Mytimeisending]

Go take a bath