Suicide envy?

[ladolcemorte]

A friend of mine just lost someone to suicide. She is beside herself and I have been consoling her, but all I can think is how jealous I am. How I wish I had succeeded in my attempt in June. How I wish I were gone too.

 

[cocodecomedy]

Yes, I completely get this. My mum's best friend recently died completely unexpectedly and suddenly. It inspired in me such a jealousy and intense desire to die. I spend evenings consoling my mother and then go to my room where I lie in bed and think about death and methods and how much I wish I could just be gone like that. It's made me feel so disgusted with myself. Plus it means I now can't ctb because I don't want to be that selfish to kill myself while she's in the depths of grief. Wish I could disappear from the earth and everyone's memory without a trace.

 

[Madeye]

A friend of mine just lost someone to suicide. She is beside herself and I have been consoling her, but all I can think is how jealous I am. How I wish I had succeeded in my attempt in June. How I wish I were gone too.

I have just recently started to feel this way. While I feel bad for those around them, I am slightly envious and happy that someone had the will to do it .

 

[morningdew]

I've always thought that those who went through with it must of found some real inner streets as it's difficult to actually go though with.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I understand. My friend who has the same physical condition as me killed hersslf 3 years ago. I wish I could have been strong enough to do that back then. And yes when I hear someone died of an accidental overdose I think, why can't that be me?!?! I've been coming on here trying to work up the nerve to do this. But I haven't been able to get. And it pisses me off.