Discussion suicide as a "plan B"

[Chuunibyou]

who else doesn't want to die, but has suicide as a plan B exit strategy if something specific happens (or doesn't happen)?

I've said before that I wouldn't actually go through with a suicide despite being suicidal, but I've started thinking that's not actually true. I'll kill myself if I end up in a situation where I'm being forced to move back in with my family. that's my condition. the last time I was forced to move in with them was my only serious attempt, and I would do it again if those circumstances return. it's that bad living with them. I absolutely refuse to let that happen again, and having an "out" just in case brings me comfort.

I hate being disabled and ill and unable to work. I hate relying on others for survival in a country that'd rather I just die. I'm so so tired of it all. but I can manage to survive a little longer as long as I am receiving help from my friends. if I lose that and only have my family, then there would be no point in continuing to prolong my suffering.

I don't know if this post makes sense. my brain feels fried. I really hate myself, I hate thinking about the future, and I hate thinking about all the things my family did to me in the past.

 

[wtg]

who else doesn't want to die, but has suicide as a plan B exit strategy if something specific happens (or doesn't happen)?

Nope, it has been my plan A since I dont even know when anymore

 

[Eudaimonic]

It's my plan A

 

[khairan]

More than a plan B I would say CTB is a late stage of my plan A I've been procrastinating.

I think sooner or later death and I will converge on my own terms.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Idk what I want honestly. I know I don't have a lot of energy. I know I'm scared of dying. doesn't mean I won't go as I've proven in the past I just want to make smart decisions . it more a plan A at this point. a tentative plan A cause I know SI is strong, and there are reasons not to. that's the best I can describe it.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I never ever thought it would even be something to consider. But then things changed, and now it's plan A.

 

[vitbar]

It was my plan A. Medication and therapy have made life livable again, but suicide is still on the cards if things get worse.

 

[stardewwindceres]

Survival instinct is a motherfucking bitch. I didn't think it was gonna get me, until I finally now have the reliable means to do it and something I can't explain at all is holding me back. I know I don't want to be alive. I want to not exist anymore so badly. Things have been so bad for so many years. It has to be some kind of biological self-preservation "lizard brain" thing because it would just be so easy. I mean, humans are just animals when it comes right down to it and survival instinct is just built in, survival of the species and all that. Unfortunately evolution made a huge mistake regarding human brain development. In that our brains developed a lot more than is necessary. An animal shouldn't want to die if their main goal in their life cycle is to maintain that cycle for as long as possible, as in stay alive for as long as possible. It's ridiculous.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Interesting. I was about to post a thread about suicide like this. I was about to ask people if any of them had ever thought of suicide as the ultimate goal. If they're still working now, still talking to people just to save up money for cremation, for the finest coffin out there, and for the prettiest suit they can tailor for themselves when the moment comes. I already have a plan laid out for the next 20 years. I know this sounds fucking stupid. Like, if you want to die, just die already.

But I want to leave the living with something first. I still love them and I want them to gain something upon my loss.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this, OP. I hope that it continues being a plan B because you shouldn't die a death that credits your family at all since, if they are this fucking terrible to you, they shouldn't get a mention at all, shouldn't even see you at all.

I don't know what disability you're struggling with but I do hope that for as long as you're around, you still get help not only from your friends but also the entire system like a welfare aid or something like that. I heard that the US helps people with disability like this. I'm not sure how it is in your country. We don't have that in mine too :")

 

[Reywashere]

My plan A was to graduate and study MA abroad but something happened and i have a feeling that I'm going to be stuck in this house forever so it might be time to switch to plan B

 

[Wrestler99]

My plan "A" involves becoming happy, but that requires "X" to happen. I have a timeline and a "happiness goal" I created.

The goal is to be happy but not existing will also make that a reality. I have dates things need to be completed by and I've stayed on track. I have it all on an excel sheet and mapped out like a project goal plan at work. The goal is to live but I have my doubts.

If by a certain date I don't see progress in achieving "X" then I move to the next tab on the excel sheet that is labeled mental health solution. It gives me plan A or B to pick from based off circumstances. And both are full proof. A gets my family to get the insurance money to keep my house in the family(building up lake property as a whole family). B is quick and guaranteed and my family won't see it bc I'll be in front of a morge when I do FSH at the front door in a body bag to prevent a mess. But they also won't get insurance money at the point, so not my favorite obviously.

I also made a back up plan to those plans. I have showed this to my therapist and she has not tried to do any kind of intervention or involuntary commitment. Bc of my last ban up plan. I carry a gun 247 except at work. That started on 11-1-25 and the end date of the goal is 11-1-26. So at the bottom of plan A and B for CTB'ing it states any intervention in plan A or B for the mental health solution requires escalation of the process immediately no matter what the situation is it where my location is. I have the equipment on me to ensure success.

Then I explained the only time I am unguarded is at work, and she could could make it happen then. But I also told her I'm highly intelligent and fooled everyone into thinking I'm happy and I'm not. My family doesn't even know I'm depressed. It will take me less than 2 weeks to get out and just to spite her for ruining my plans I'll do it the day I'm released and they can't hold you when you pass all their tests. I know the right answers, I know how to lie well, its inevitable if I want so don't push me.

So my plan is moving along, I see no progress, I keep trying and I'll continue until 10-25- 26 and then start prepping for the bus ride that will take place on 11-1-26. Fingers crossed I'm still here after that but its been 40 years and I have never had a relationship that lasted more than a week or two and I've been single for 98 percent of my life. I don't see it changing bc I don't fit in to society and don't understand how to socially interact to make connections last. Again, I'm in therapy and working on it. Been 2 years now and I'm still where I started.

 

[Seneca65AD]

I have always had it as a Plan B. It allowed me to try things which made me extremely uncomfortable. If things did not work out and I failed, which happened a lot in my life, I could always CTB. Turns out I've been Plan B'ing life for a crap load of time (I'm 60). It has made me objectively successful but not happy. Even now, it's still my Plan B if my business does not turn around.

 

[Sadbanana]

Suicide is the purpose of my existence.

 

[worldsworsthedonist]

It is given to me that suicide as a "plan B" is a theme in the work of the stoic philosopher Seneca. As I understand, Seneca believes we should take comfort in our ability to choose to die, should life become too painful. A quote (likely mis-)attributed to Seneca reads, "Can you no longer see a road to freedom? It's right in front of you. You need only turn over your wrists."

I was about to ask people if any of them had ever thought of suicide as the ultimate goal.

I think of suicide as my "ultimate" goal in the sense that it is my final goal. Right now at least it is not my most urgent or important goal. But I do not want to leave my death to the course of nature. I want to choose to die.

 

[Sr Red]

Plan A

 

[n0rth3rnSh0gun]

It's presently plan B for me.. all depends on what happens over the next few months life wise... if at any point I become a burden on those around me, then I'll CTB. I remember being happy when I was young, it could get that way again but I need certain things to fall into place.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

It's been my plan B for a long time. I now recognize that as a bad way of thinking! Too late

 

[Bowerbird]

Me too. I think I might have some hope of being saved, but its my plan B if things go wrong.

 

[kitsuneprime]

I feel like this and thank you for posting because I've been trying to get my feelings down for a while but not had the confidence to or really getting that this is how I feel. Like to CTB I need X, Y and Z to come true. If they do, my decision will be easier.

 

[derekWest]

who else doesn't want to die, but has suicide as a plan B exit strategy if something specific happens (or doesn't happen)?

I've said before that I wouldn't actually go through with a suicide despite being suicidal, but I've started thinking that's not actually true. I'll kill myself if I end up in a situation where I'm being forced to move back in with my family. that's my condition. the last time I was forced to move in with them was my only serious attempt, and I would do it again if those circumstances return. it's that bad living with them. I absolutely refuse to let that happen again, and having an "out" just in case brings me comfort.

I hate being disabled and ill and unable to work. I hate relying on others for survival in a country that'd rather I just die. I'm so so tired of it all. but I can manage to survive a little longer as long as I am receiving help from my friends. if I lose that and only have my family, then there would be no point in continuing to prolong my suffering.

I don't know if this post makes sense. my brain feels fried. I really hate myself, I hate thinking about the future, and I hate thinking about all the things my family did to me in the past.

Yes, also my plan B.
Since my last and ctb attempt, I test some solutions (sport, relationship, work...) that improve my well-being.
It works quite well. Hope it will also same for you but without a ctb attempt because it is quite sad to do it first....

It's been my plan B for a long time. I now recognize that as a bad way of thinking! Too late

What do you mean ? So, what is a better way of thinking for you by now ?

 

[Lfsn_kivacs-rei]

Right now it's plan A, it's just a matter of when and where, and learning up on how to hang myself better.
It's been plan B since 2018 when I tried to overdose a few times (no success obviously, I was uninformed and actually quite happy - so happy that I knew life wasn't going to get better - and I was right). In 2020 I got sick and then disabled, and now there's no solution to my health problems, I can't eat properly or work or see people, or do anything I used to enjoy. So yeah, plan A. What is life when it's all misery and pain, with people giving you pity faces? Even my dog is disappointed in me.

 

[Chairbed3]

It was my plan B for a long time, but it now leveled up to become plan A! I'm planning to do it by March or June 2026.

 

[jiselle]

I hadn't had the urge since i was a kid. My bf broke up with me now i'm realizing it was Plan B. His love was my plan A