foreverotting
Member
- Oct 1, 2020
- 49
i think i've tried every known form of therapy and medications at this point except ECT. esketamine helped a bit and i didn't feel suicidal for months, but here i am again.
my life is a mess and my one last chance to graduate high school is this year. i'm 20 for crying out loud. i'm tired of, "oh well you're different everyone else is different so you can't compare yourself" but that isn't going to work with a job or any other money method. I am EXTREMELY mentally ill and this world is going to eat my up once my parents are gone and I have nothing. i found the light again and lost it. i lost it again and again and again. but this time was different, i truly saw the world in a different light yet my fate is the same.
this world really is nothing but suffering and everyone around me is judging and laughing at me.
I want to give up so bad but I really want to prove myself wrong. i can'g thought i can't its so paralyzing and my heads spinning. its been like this every day I can't stand myself and this body i want to leave I want to rest and I want every remaining part of me to disappear
I feel so alone and I'm so distant from everyone. i feel so different from everyone around me and i don't think anyone knows how truly bad i am in my head. my head is more fucked than i let on
my life is a mess and my one last chance to graduate high school is this year. i'm 20 for crying out loud. i'm tired of, "oh well you're different everyone else is different so you can't compare yourself" but that isn't going to work with a job or any other money method. I am EXTREMELY mentally ill and this world is going to eat my up once my parents are gone and I have nothing. i found the light again and lost it. i lost it again and again and again. but this time was different, i truly saw the world in a different light yet my fate is the same.
this world really is nothing but suffering and everyone around me is judging and laughing at me.
I want to give up so bad but I really want to prove myself wrong. i can'g thought i can't its so paralyzing and my heads spinning. its been like this every day I can't stand myself and this body i want to leave I want to rest and I want every remaining part of me to disappear
I feel so alone and I'm so distant from everyone. i feel so different from everyone around me and i don't think anyone knows how truly bad i am in my head. my head is more fucked than i let on
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