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wait i'm goated
- Feb 12, 2023
- 264
there are a lot of meaningless things that i want to talk about. some things that just bum me out, like a group that i've followed for over half a decade just disbanded (OnlyOneOf, you will always be famous). some more positive things like new releases from my favorite bands, new updates in games that i enjoy, comic updates. the people i engage in small talk with just don't care about this stuff, and if they do, they just don't enjoy it if i'm the one speaking. having someone who engages in these conversations with you because they actually enjoy speaking with you is such a special thing.
having no one to have deep conversations about depression and suicide is one thing. even when i had close friends that i could vent to, i would obviously avoid talking about a lot of deeper/more personal things for obvious reasons; so not being able to talk about ANY of those things isn't that huge of a difference. it still hurts a lot, having horrible thoughts but no one to discuss them with; but i think that's a common thing.
wanting to talk about the more lighthearted things, but having no one to do it with is an entirely different kind of loneliness. i have to spend my free time seeing things and silently reacting.
i'm so over people saying that you have to learn to be alone/enjoy the time you spend alone. i agree, it's valuable to practice existing on your own and feeling content by yourself, but that's not my issue. i don't have a choice, i'm just alone and i have been for most of my life. there's a difference between having valuable alone time and being isolated because everyone has left you.
idk if i made much sense but whatever. soz again for lowk spamming the forum bro it's been rough
having no one to have deep conversations about depression and suicide is one thing. even when i had close friends that i could vent to, i would obviously avoid talking about a lot of deeper/more personal things for obvious reasons; so not being able to talk about ANY of those things isn't that huge of a difference. it still hurts a lot, having horrible thoughts but no one to discuss them with; but i think that's a common thing.
wanting to talk about the more lighthearted things, but having no one to do it with is an entirely different kind of loneliness. i have to spend my free time seeing things and silently reacting.
i'm so over people saying that you have to learn to be alone/enjoy the time you spend alone. i agree, it's valuable to practice existing on your own and feeling content by yourself, but that's not my issue. i don't have a choice, i'm just alone and i have been for most of my life. there's a difference between having valuable alone time and being isolated because everyone has left you.
idk if i made much sense but whatever. soz again for lowk spamming the forum bro it's been rough