Stuck in here

[ctbusser]

Suicidal for half a year now, having SN ready in my desk, had one attempt to use it but didn't have guts to take my last drink. Survival instinct is hell of a thing. Also worried that this is not the end, I will just get a more shitty next life or have to re-live my life over for eternity. So basically trapped in my fear and worries, almost became an alcoholic because of it, feeling desperate. Sorry for whining here, I know there are lots of people struggling more than me, just wanted to share with someone who could understand.

 

[mrtime87]

Sorry to hear about this. SI is a bitch, something that boggles my mind when I read about people who commit suicide.

How were they able to overcome it?

 

[ctbusser]

I guess complete desperation and belief that it's better on the other side. Or maybe they are just not pussies, fear of death is stupid logically since we all gonna be there one day

Sorry to hear about this. SI is a bitch, something that boggles my mind when I read about people who commit suicide.

How were they able to overcome it?

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's so dreadful and tiring feeling trapped in this existence, but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ctbusser]

So how do I actually set my mind on doing it? Life is just getting worse and it's a long way to fall. As a former risk manager I see a lot of negative possibilities after death that are not suitable for me (being born a female(no sexism, just dont want that), or disabled in any form..) . I believe that non existence doesn't exist (you cannot feel the nothing, so you can only be alive in some form of conciseness)The only thing that cheers me up that probably any existence is mortal, so I can kill myself anytime I don't like it.