stuck and alone

[evrchanging]

found stuff that suggested he cheated on me in his search history but i stayed with him because he promised he was just "looking" at those things to cope with what we were going through. i signed a lease with him and a few days after i find his old account with dms trying to meet up with people while we were together, shit feels awful and i love him more than anything but whenever i try to break up it's always a fight. this time i didn't try to stop him from leaving and he left the house, i hope he's okay. these past 2 years have been so painful, i'm not the same person who i was when we started. i moved states away for him. i'm so grateful for him but it hurts so bad, i just want to take the easy way out. if i can't have a life without him then what's the point of living? if we were to never talk again i'd never want another love with anyone else. i'm all alone in this quiet house. he's so bad for me but i want his love more than anything

 

[Some place nice]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. You deserve all the love in the world.

 

[Kit1]

I am so sorry about what has been done to you, for how much upset and pain you have been going through for such a long time, the betrayal and abuse. You sound like a lovely person who deserves a person who would really love you for who you are - and I hope that you take some time out to think about yourself, learn to appreciate and love yourself, do things that you might like doing abd give yourself the care and love that truly deserve. I hope that you find true happiness, peace and contentment within yourself first. Take care.

 

[evrchanging]

I am so sorry about what has been done to you, for how much upset and pain you have been going through for such a long time, the betrayal and abuse. You sound like a lovely person who deserves a person who would really love you for who you are - and I hope that you take some time out to think about yourself, learn to appreciate and love yourself, do things that you might like doing abd give yourself the care and love that truly deserve. I hope that you find true happiness, peace and contentment within yourself first. Take care.

thank you for the kind words. this makes me feel less alone and is some really encouraging words. i never thought anyone would say these things in a million years. take care and be safe

I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. You deserve all the love in the world.

that's very sweet, thank you so much. you do too:) be safe

 

[vuberpoot1]

I don't mean to be a stranger injecting my own opinions on your life, but it really sounds like what happened was probably for the best. Your ex treated you horribly, and you certainly didn't deserve that. I know that feeling of falling for someone that ends up being bad for you, and it stings pretty bad. With time, though, I think you're gonna find much greener pastures. I wish you the best for a bright future, friend.

 

[Ondine0000ff]

I emathize so much with you, that love and affirmation you want from someone that just won't give it to you no matter what, I feel you, really. As Kit1 said, its really about managing to loveyourself so you won't have to chase other peole's (I hope im not making any stupid assumptions sorry if i crossed a line)
Anyhow, stay strong, we're here for you <3

 

[evrchanging]

I emathize so much with you, that love and affirmation you want from someone that just won't give it to you no matter what, I feel you, really. As Kit1 said, its really about managing to loveyourself so you won't have to chase other peole's (I hope im not making any stupid assumptions sorry if i crossed a line)
Anyhow, stay strong, we're here for you <3

perfectly said. and no worries you're completely right and it's something i need to hear, thank you

I don't mean to be a stranger injecting my own opinions on your life, but it really sounds like what happened was probably for the best. Your ex treated you horribly, and you certainly didn't deserve that. I know that feeling of falling for someone that ends up being bad for you, and it stings pretty bad. With time, though, I think you're gonna find much greener pastures. I wish you the best for a bright future, friend.

he really has realized how horrible things have been after being away from me, it's hard not letting him back in. i guess time heals and changes people, and maybe the future will bring us together again. but you can't be with someone you can't trust right? thank you for the reassurance:) hoping time will change these feelings