Still alive

[dory]

Sadly. To be fair I think I still want to die. I feel like that feeling will never go away. Ever since i was 10 I knew I wanted to kill myself and the waiting time for it to happen is killing me (ironically). I just want to disappear I don't want my death to hurt anyone even it they deserve that pain. I can't even imagine my family's reaction it makes me sick. Is it worth it to be miserable just to keep my peers happy that I am alive? This isn't coherent but I have no one else to go to anymore. If God is real I'm sorry I feel this way

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

Don't worry about being incoherent. Your post made perfect sense. And honestly if God is real, they should be sorry for how you feel not the other way around.

I'm sorry you're struggling though. Part of what has kept me going as well is how my Father would react. I think at some point those thought do go away and you just end up doing it for your own sake. I can't speak for you, but that's how I am at the moment.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be gone, to disappear from this existence is also what I'd wish for, if it's up to me I'd choose to permanently erase my existence so it's like I never suffered at all. But anyway I wish you the best.