Staying Here

[k75]

Yeah I'm in America. I'm trying to figure out if I trust myself enough to be able to check out or if I need to be mandatory confined. It's not an easy decision.

 

[Jean4]

Yeah I'm in America. I'm trying to figure out if I trust myself enough to be able to check out or if I need to be mandatory confined. It's not an easy decision.

I think it's great that you have such insight. That is half the battle. No. It's not an easy decision. However, the fact that you recognize you need help is the hardest part and you have that down already.

 

[k75]

I think it's great that you have such insight. That is half the battle. No. It's not an easy decision. However, the fact that you recognize you need help is the hardest part and you have that down already.

Thank you. Everything is just so hard. I've been sleeping a lot because I know I'm safe if I'm asleep. But I've been up since 5 a.m. yesterday and I just don't know. I can't escape right now. I'm an artist and I'm working on two projects for people's Christmas presents and it should be distracting me but it's not.

 

[Jean4]

Thank you. Everything is just so hard. I've been sleeping a lot because I know I'm safe if I'm asleep. But I've been up since 5 a.m. yesterday and I just don't know. I can't escape right now. I'm an artist and I'm working on two projects for people's Christmas presents and it should be distracting me but it's not.

I understand. At least you can work. I'm having a real bad day and cannot. I am about to force myself to eat something and brush my teeth. If you can, try to get on some sort of routine. Just keep pushing.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm close to just putting myself in the hospital, but going inpatient is the one thing I haven't done yet and it scares me. I'm not looking for treatment or help with meds or anything like that so my experience won't be like other people's. I just need to be kept safe from myself and not have the world around me. I need a vacation from real life.

I literally thought yesterday life in a mental hospital would be easier. However I don't want anyone forcing meds on me without my choice
I want it over so much. Every day same again. So many years of being miserable. Hardly any hope...other than to try opiates for depression....so tired.

 

[k75]

I literally thought yesterday life in a mental hospital would be easier. However I don't want anyone forcing meds on me without my choice
I want it over so much. Every day same again. So many years of being miserable. Hardly any hope...other than to try opiates for depression....so tired.

I might actually benefit from people forcing me to take my meds, because since my cat died a few days ago I've been forgetting everything and that's bad.

I'm sorry you have to feel that way. I wish there was something magical solution I could give you to make everything better. I wish I could make everything better for everyone here because there's just so much hurt.

I understand. At least you can work. I'm having a real bad day and cannot. I am about to force myself to eat something and brush my teeth. If you can, try to get on some sort of routine. Just keep pushing.

I'm so sorry you're having a bad time. I'm sorry for your loss. Trust me I know how bad that is.
Yeah I do need a routine badly. I was doing a partial hospital program and that forced me into a routine, but they discharged me too early and I have just fallen apart. I had to put my cat to sleep and now everything is shit. I'm only functioning right now because I took a whole lot of gabapentin and that's got me needing to move and do things. if I hadn't done that I would be in bed doing nothing at all forever.

 

[Squiddy]

Like sectioned? I could be wrong - but I think sometimes they might force you to take meds when u are on there? But if you feel you need to be kept safe from yourself for a little bit then maybe you should.

When I was first hospitalized, I didn't have to take meds

 

[MeltingHeart]

When I was first hospitalized, I didn't have to take meds

ah ok.

 

[Sweet emotion]

we need a communal area IRL so we can go smash plates, I could go for a good plate smash right now

There are actually places that let you do that. Wreck rooms. When people throw things out like TV's or vacuum cleaners they donate them to these places and you can choose your weapon.....they have bats, all kinds of things and you just go in there and bust the hell out of everything.

 

[Jean4]

There are actually places that let you do that. Wreck rooms. When people throw things out like TV's or vacuum cleaners they donate them to these places and you can choose your weapon.....they have bats, all kinds of things and you just go in there and bust the hell out of everything.

I saw it on tv. It sounds like fun!

 

[NotGoneButNotHere]

I plan on ctbing before Christmas, I'm just waiting for my SN and meto to arrive.

Yesterday I was in a very dark place, was extremely depressed and sad.

Today I feel calm, I feel ok.

However nothing changed between yesterday and today, also suicide is constantly on my mind today but for some reason I feel ok about it.

Depression is strange, life is strange.

I'm the same. One day is complete shit, and the next is okay but the feelings towards the situation remain the same. I also plan to be out before christmas but I'm just waiting for my Meto

 

[k75]

There are actually places that let you do that. Wreck rooms. When people throw things out like TV's or vacuum cleaners they donate them to these places and you can choose your weapon.....they have bats, all kinds of things and you just go in there and bust the hell out of everything.

I saw that on 911. Those are really a thing??

 

[Sweet emotion]

I saw that on 911. Those are really a thing??

Yes they are. I saw Ozzy Osbourne and his son Jack go to one. You just let out all your aggression and pain.

 

[k75]

Yes they are. I saw Ozzy Osbourne and his son Jack go to one. You just let out all your aggression and pain.

I just looked it up. There aren't any around me unfortunately, cause I would totally do that. I'd have to go closer to Boston and that's just not happening.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I just looked it up. There aren't any around me unfortunately, cause I would totally do that. I'd have to go closer to Boston and that's just not happening.

This is just a joke but on garbage night go around collecting things that people put out on the curb. Bring them to your yard and smash them to bits. That wouldn't do it for me. I'd want to get my hands on some of the doctors who have physically hurt me and have made my physical condition even worse. That would satisfy me in a way that nothing else would.