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wait i'm goated
Feb 12, 2023
419
i appreciate people who take the time to give me advice, but it's so annoying sometimes. i know i have to die no matter what, but i still listen to whatever advice i'm given because i want to feel better, even if it's not possible. because of this, the thing i hear most often is, "you can still get better because you're trying to get help"/"you wouldn't be listening to my advice if you truly thought you wanted/needed to die".
it's so fucking stupid, especially because they say that after i explain my unfixable situation. of course i want to get better, i just can't. that's the whole point.
i'm assuming we've all heard this before. i'm sure it's helpful for a lot of people, but i'm tired of hearing it.

i know it's stupid for me to listen to advice that i know can't change anything and i can't even explain why i do it. it's similar these stupid experiences that most people have: checking your fridge because you feel hungry, leaving because there's nothing in there, then checking it again like 10 minutes later even though you know nothings going to be in there. also, receiving something like a bad grade, a breakup text, etc. and constantly going back to look at it, even though the content remains the same.
i know nothing will come from it, i just can't help but wonder if someone will tell me something life changing that'll rewire my entire brain, even though i know it isn't possible. plus, i'm lonely and hearing useless/chatgtp-esque advice is more hurtful when it's coming from someone i care about; so i'll stick to pro-life randos. even if they're only engaging with me to fulfill some moral obligation that they've created for themselves, it's nice to feel somewhat cared about.
 
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