mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
Maybe with your miscalculation with the rope and anchor point is the universe trying to tell you something? Its ok if today is not the day.Maybe you could just enjoy your buzz,have a nice nap and do some more planning later.
 
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UpandDownPrincess

UpandDownPrincess

Elementalist
Dec 31, 2019
833
Here is a very silly joke to give you a giggle:

A policeman is sitting on the side of the road when he sees a car rush past holding what appears to be three penguins in the back seat.
He turns on his lights, pulls the car to the side of the road and sees that there are, in fact, three penguins in the back seat.
He yells at the driver, "Sir, those penguins need special care. You take them to the zoo right now!"
The next day, the policeman is in his usual spot when he sees the same car go by, once again holding three penguins in the back seat.
Today, the penguins are wearing sunglasses.
He pulls the car over and says to the driver, "I thought I told you yesterday to take those penguins to the zoo!"
The driver looks up and says, "I did take them to the zoo, officer. Today I'm taking them to the beach!"

:happy:
 
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sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
Here's a good joke for you. My grandma told me before she passed.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandma, not screaming and crying like the passengers in her car.
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
Maybe with your miscalculation with the rope and anchor point is the universe trying to tell you something? Its ok if today is not the day.Maybe you could just enjoy your buzz,have a nice nap and do some more planning later.
Maybe, although I feel very 'decided' so might still go ahead with it. I don't remember this feeling with any of my previous attempts.
Here's a good joke for you. My grandma told me before she passed.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandma, not screaming and crying like the passengers in her car.
OMG I love this one
 
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LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
Enjoy the final rush just before the blackout...ok in the beginnning it's painful and quite annoying, but as you "hang on" (well...yes, literally !) you get very lightheaded and ease in. And then you get one final rush of adrenaline and it feels quite like an orgasm. Then you lose consciousness. Then you hope the fucking belt doesn't slip off the anchorpoint like mine did.....so I woke up crashing to the floor with a massive bruised bump on my forehead ! I wish you better luck my friend ! Could have done without the years since then only to be back in the same place....sending love and courage ! :heart:
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
Enjoy the final rush just before the blackout...ok in the beginnning it's painful and quite annoying, but as you "hang on" (well...yes, literally !) you get very lightheaded and ease in. And then you get one final rush of adrenaline and it feels quite like an orgasm. Then you lose consciousness. Then you hope the fucking belt doesn't slip off the anchorpoint like mine did.....so I woke up crashing to the floor with a massive bruised bump on my forehead ! I wish you better luck my friend ! Could have done without the years since then only to be back in the same place....sending love and courage ! :heart:
A few previous times I backed out at the unpleasant sensations, however last time when I was very intoxicated I quite enjoyed it. (TMI but I'm hopefully gonna die so idc) I also have a choking/hanging fetish so maybe death will be somewhat pleasant ;)
 
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sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
My first attempt at a partial failed. I was just blacking out feeling euphoric when my dad came in and untied me then just left me there on the floor trying to breath. So I'm crossing my fingers that everything goes the way you plan. Even if it's postponing or reconsidering.
 
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Nowayoutjose

Nowayoutjose

Member
Feb 17, 2020
21
You wrote in my thread, so I'm here asking the same question; Are you sure this is the only way for you? How old are you and what's causing you to consider this?
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
My first attempt at a partial failed. I was just blacking out feeling euphoric when my dad came in and untied me then just left me there on the floor trying to breath. So I'm crossing my fingers that everything goes the way you plan. Even if it's postponing or reconsidering.
I'm sorry that happened to you :aw: I know how upsetting it is to realise your attempt has failed. Thank you:heart:
 
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LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
A few previous times I backed out at the unpleasant sensations, however last time when I was very intoxicated I quite enjoyed it. (TMI but I'm hopefully gonna die so idc) I also have a choking/hanging fetish so maybe death will be somewhat pleasant ;)
I was been doing A LOT of auto-erotic asphyxiation techniques when I was younger (well ok I'll just admit it I still am doing those even today), so the ctb by hanging just seemed like a logical continuation of what I had been doing all the time....
 
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LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
May I ask the exact nature of your chocking/hanging fetich? Sorry but we seem to have something in common so I'm just interested, you don't have to answer if you do not feel comfortable talking about it....and I sincerely hope that if you are sure this is the right thing for you to do, you will enjoy that last powerful rush, it is one of the strongest sensations one can feel....
 
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sickInsominic42

sickInsominic42

My destination, eternal slumber
Feb 16, 2020
123
I'm sorry that happened to you :aw: I know how upsetting it is to realise your attempt has failed. Thank you:heart:
I just want this to go as fast and as painlessly as possible for you.
I have never really told my whole story on SS, so I might as well now.

Social outcast through school, relentlessly bullied due to facial deformation, parental divorce, exposed to mental health issues in the household from a young age, attacked in the street multiple times, raped at 16 (virginity), suicidal from the age of 9~, multiple mental health issues including BPD and OCD which have seriously impacted my life.

Attempted multiple times since the age of 14. Grew up, found love, had surgery to fix deformation and fix tics related to it, got job I dreamed of from the age 11. But still want to die everyday thanks to the curse that is borderline personality disorder.

Sorry if that sounded whiny, but god its good to get off my chest.
Edit I'm 21 now.
Your not whining. Your just helping us understand your reasoning for wanting to ctb. And also by telling us your also reminding yourself of your reasons
 
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Nowayoutjose

Nowayoutjose

Member
Feb 17, 2020
21
I have never really told my whole story on SS, so I might as well now.

Social outcast through school, relentlessly bullied due to facial deformation, parental divorce, exposed to mental health issues in the household from a young age, attacked in the street multiple times, raped at 16 (virginity), suicidal from the age of 9~, multiple mental health issues including BPD and OCD which have seriously impacted my life.

Attempted multiple times since the age of 14. Grew up, found love, had surgery to fix deformation and fix tics related to it, got job I dreamed of from the age 11. But still want to die everyday thanks to the curse that is borderline personality disorder.

Sorry if that sounded whiny, but god its good to get off my chest.
Edit I'm 21 now.

Fucking hell. Not the slightest whiney. I truly feel for you, left speechless.
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
May I ask the exact nature of your chocking/hanging fetich? Sorry but we seem to have something in common so I'm just interested, you don't have to answer if you do not feel comfortable talking about it....and I sincerely hope that if you are sure this is the right thing for you to do, you will enjoy that last powerful rush, it is one of the strongest sensations one can feel....
(NSFW) Possibly as extreme as it could go, (maybe because I'm suicidal) but I would love for someone to manually strangle me to death during sex. Just fucking kill me while getting that good dick, because I can't think of a better way to go. Also enjoy the idea of a man hanging me for his own gratification.

(NEW POST)
Almost ready to do it. Onto my final can of Tennents (proud that my final drink is a Scottish one as I am incredibly proud of my nationality). Going to listen to the songs I want to as I drink it, then do it.

My flatmates are standing in the hall right now, I can hear them talking. Wish they would fuck off.
 
Last edited:
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Suicide_vampire

Suicide_vampire

In Vino Veritas
Feb 11, 2020
426
Can I ask, do you take meds for your borderline?
 
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A

Ange_Fatigue

Member
Jan 20, 2020
67
Sorry you ve gone through thoses painfuls évents. Nobody deserve suffering, as a kid nor as an adult. I m here to for you.
 
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Suicide_vampire

Suicide_vampire

In Vino Veritas
Feb 11, 2020
426
(NSFW) Possibly as extreme as it could go, (maybe because I'm suicidal) but I would love for someone to manually strangle me to death during sex. Just fucking kill me while getting that good dick, because I can't think of a better way to go. Also enjoy the idea of a man hanging me for his own gratification.

(NEW POST)
Almost ready to do it. Onto my final can of Tennents (proud that my final drink is a Scottish one as I am incredibly proud of my nationality). Going to listen to the songs I want to as I drink it, then do it.

My flatmates are standing in the hall right now, I can hear them talking. Wish they would fuck off.
You're Scottish I never knew that, me too, Tennents, good choice
 
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Rome Horseman

Rome Horseman

Member
Feb 17, 2020
55
You're, a strong person! I love you!
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
If your flat mates are that close and you are doing partial,they may hear you flopping around and attempt a rescue,no?
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
If your flat mates are that close and you are doing partial,they may hear you flopping around and attempt a rescue,no?
Yes, I worried about this. The walls between rooms are very thick though, it's just the hall that's very audible. I'm waiting for them to leave before I take my exit. I will also have loud music playing.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Visionary
Mar 21, 2019
2,999
Not too loud or that will draw attention to you too.
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
Not too loud or that will draw attention to you too.
Hopefully it will be ok. I keep to myself anyway, we just happen to live together. They don't have a key to my room.
 
LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
(NSFW) Possibly as extreme as it could go, (maybe because I'm suicidal) but I would love for someone to manually strangle me to death during sex. Just fucking kill me while getting that good dick, because I can't think of a better way to go. Also enjoy the idea of a man hanging me for his own gratification.

We really do have a lot in common....I DREAM about being strangled to death during sex, have been trying to provoke it a few times but of course they broke off when I became unconscious....weird, I always thought I was the only perverse bitch to have such a bizarre desire ! :pfff:
 
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BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
I am ready to go, but they won't get out of the hallway!

I may go and string myself up to a tree if this is unsuccessful.
 
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LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
I am ready to go, but they won't get out of the hallway!

I may go and string myself up to a tree if this is unsuccessful.
A tree is a lot more romantic than inside your room anyway ! :love:
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
995
Hello my Love..Painful life..Wish there was something I could say or do to take ur pain away..Is there anything that would make u reconsider?
 
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mesohappy

mesohappy

Cat piss sammich??
Jan 10, 2020
674
I am ready to go, but they won't get out of the hallway!

I may go and string myself up to a tree if this is unsuccessful.
That patch of trees on the campus sounds sketchy too..Arent there random people wandering the campus? Is it a college campus or what?
 
BPDbitch

BPDbitch

Experienced
Nov 10, 2019
248
That patch of trees on the campus sounds sketchy too..Arent there random people wandering the campus? Is it a college campus or what?
yes it's a uni campus. quiet at night, but i'd rather be somewhere secluded.
 
LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
Hello my Love..Painful life..Wish there was something I could say or do to take ur pain away..Is there anything that would make u reconsider?
Yes if she finds someone to strangle her during sex ! But that sounds even more difficult than to find a suitable tree....
 
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