Social belonging trumps everything else

[telekon]

I noticed on SaSu that the pages on Suicide Discussion forum permanently have the last page listed (or the first posts in the forum)

One of the first people to post posted this: https://web.archive.org/web/2017042...05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html

and I don't know who needs to read it, but it was incredibly eye-opening for me. It's absolutely true. I have been through a lot, but only when I feel like I have no one and nobody cares do I seriously contemplate committing. Social belonging is more important than food or sex or anything else. It's always been that way.

 

[Spite]

You need a social circle, or else it's over. Social circle is life. Without social connections... you are going to suffer in this life.

Loneliness and lack of social belonging I'd argue is one of the main things that drives people to commit suicide. For example, many people who are neurodivergent end their lives because they have never been able to fit in anywhere and the world at large either mistreats them or doesn't accept them at all. We are left behind to rot.

 

[momentomori00]

So true man, that's why I'm on here lol. I've been completely isolated for more than a year, and lonely for much longer before that and I think it's irreparably damaged my MH and my perception of self

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

That

I noticed on SaSu that the pages on Suicide Discussion forum permanently have the last page listed (or the first posts in the forum)

One of the first people to post posted this: https://web.archive.org/web/2017042...05/maslow-be-damned-how-social-belonging.html

and I don't know who needs to read it, but it was incredibly eye-opening for me. It's absolutely true. I have been through a lot, but only when I feel like I have no one and nobody cares do I seriously contemplate committing. Social belonging is more important than food or sex or anything else. It's always been that way.

That article is depress af

At least this part explains why im resentful sometines:
"To sum up, social pain is more common, more painful, and less rational than is widely understood. Experiencing social pain is not optional; unfortunately, neither is causing social pain. By virtue of being born, each of us will cause innumerable incidents of social pain in others throughout our lives - most commonly without realizing it at all. But it's actually much worse than that, because one of the most common, effective responses to experiencing social ostracism is aggression toward others, even others not involved in the original ostracism event. Negative ripples spread out from each incident of social pain - and all the while the proximate source of the social pain may be entirely unaware of having caused it."

must be what goes through the mind of mass shooters and terrorists that blow themselves up when they commit suicide

Oh.. and the article conclusion is this:
"It's a Giant's Drink situation: the only winning move is not to play.

But we've already all been forced to play."

which is depressing af

I wonder if the author killed himself after writing it

 

[hurts2b]

Frankly I'm very bitter about the whole "social belonging" thing. "The only winning move is not to play." is exactly right.

 

[Forveleth]

I do not disagree with this article. There are plenty of us here that have social support that still want to die, including those in chronic pain. Personally, I would forgo social interaction over social acceptance. I would rather live alone somewhere, never seeing another human being again, than being part of some big, loving community.

 

[youremy]

I moved to a different country when I was 4. Couldn't fit in. Had no idea what was happening around me, couldn't socialize with the other kids. Misbehaved badly in school.

Once I got a laptop as a present, I retreated to the internet. Wasn't terribly active and adventurous, either - I just watched YouTube videos.

If you dropped the ball at 4 and then never made it up, never been able to form a lasting relationship of any sort because you just don't understand what's needed for that and are autistic or backward or whatever, you can't make that up.

At some point it's not even belonging, it's being able to function in society. And god, have I learned how difficult it is for those who function but don't belong.

All these unspoken rules that are upheld whenever the situation requires it and then ridiculed in private by everybody because they're all aware of how tiresome and superficial they are. Every social activity you participate in makes you feel like you've just had an epiphany, while the others forget about it the next morning, and then one day you realize you've been going in circles because your model is constantly trying to update itself when it's been irreparably deformed from the beginning.