A lot of it is, but this ..
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That back-and-forth is exhausting, and it muddles our judgment.
This quote helps capture this inner conflict: "We are not our thoughts — we're the people listening to them." Suicidal thoughts, once they snowball, can become an avalanche that drowns out the part of us that would otherwise choose differently.
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sort of feeds the narrative that we couldn't ever be acting rationally, that suicide is always an unwise decision and poor judgment. This is a common assumption among people whose lives have never gotten that bad. They think it HAS to be an insane thing to want to kill yourself. Maybe in a lot of cases it is, but sometimes it is perfectly rational.
Another part I didn't relate to is believing I am loved. I don't believe I am loved.