Venting So ready to kick the bucket

[SomewhereNew]

Let me start by saying I don't blame anyone but myself for the most part because I could have made better choices I was however barely an adult. 2 months after graduation I got a DUI 12 years ago almost killed some people hit 2 cars one car head on almost killed a baby I was so ashamed I wanted to die then and there was avoiding my dad's alcoholism and abuse by ironically doing the same went to stay with my uncle who was drinking a case a day him and his girlfriend were choking each other took her keys and crashed. I'm 30 now can't get a license so I can't get a real job been trying to kill myself since put rifles and pistols to my head I've overdosed I've been in nooses I might take the shotgun and disappear and end my pathetic life I'll never be anything. I had kids since but she just got high off pills when I wasn't home drugged my kids to sleep and slept with nigs I'm done with this life I wanna cause pain. I have never been the same when my grandma had a stroke and couldn't talk and heart attack I started huffing gasoline I started popping pills I am forsaken take me from this realm.

 

[Liebestod]

This is off topic but I fucking love your profile picture.

 

[SomewhereNew]

This is off topic but I fucking love your profile picture.

"Lizard" "Lizard" Lizard" " "

 

[OnnanokoNiNaritai]

Let me start by saying I don't blame anyone but myself for the most part because I could have made better choices I was however barely an adult. 2 months after graduation I got a DUI 12 years ago almost killed some people hit 2 cars one car head on almost killed a baby I was so ashamed I wanted to die then and there was avoiding my dad's alcoholism and abuse by ironically doing the same went to stay with my uncle who was drinking a case a day him and his girlfriend were choking each other took her keys and crashed. I'm 30 now can't get a license so I can't get a real job been trying to kill myself since put rifles and pistols to my head I've overdosed I've been in nooses I might take the shotgun and disappear and end my pathetic life I'll never be anything. I had kids since but she just got high off pills when I wasn't home drugged my kids to sleep and slept with nigs I'm done with this life I wanna cause pain. I have never been the same when my grandma had a stroke and couldn't talk and heart attack I started huffing gasoline I started popping pills I am forsaken take me from this realm.

How are u doing recently? Any better?

 

[SomewhereNew]

How are u doing recently? Any better?

Thanks for asking man I haven't been drinking anymore mostly just bed rotting brainstorming for a way out of my own vices

 

[OnnanokoNiNaritai]

Thanks for asking man I haven't been drinking anymore mostly just bed rotting brainstorming for a way out of my own vices

Do u still have suicidal toughts?

 

[SomewhereNew]

Do u still have suicidal toughts?

Yeah it's still a daily day dream honestly

 

[OnnanokoNiNaritai]

Yeah it's still a daily day dream honestly

I hope u can recover.
I know its hard to live whit all the guilt you have but if, u regret it that much then u should not be worried about being a bad person.
Just think about that, kisses :)

 

[Happy Cat]

Let me start by saying I don't blame anyone but myself for the most part because I could have made better choices I was however barely an adult. 2 months after graduation I got a DUI 12 years ago almost killed some people hit 2 cars one car head on almost killed a baby I was so ashamed I wanted to die then and there was avoiding my dad's alcoholism and abuse by ironically doing the same went to stay with my uncle who was drinking a case a day him and his girlfriend were choking each other took her keys and crashed. I'm 30 now can't get a license so I can't get a real job been trying to kill myself since put rifles and pistols to my head I've overdosed I've been in nooses I might take the shotgun and disappear and end my pathetic life I'll never be anything. I had kids since but she just got high off pills when I wasn't home drugged my kids to sleep and slept with nigs I'm done with this life I wanna cause pain. I have never been the same when my grandma had a stroke and couldn't talk and heart attack I started huffing gasoline I started popping pills I am forsaken take me from this realm.

Sorry to ask but i really want to know, did you imply that your ex OD your kids? Are they alright?

 

[SomewhereNew]

Sorry to ask but i really want to know, did you imply that your ex OD your kids? Are they alright?

She put them on God knows how much melatonin to make them extremely tired. They are great thanks I should have clarified drugged with what still messed up as hell in my opinion.