This is only my second post since I have been on this wonderful, I LOVE this websiteby the way!,since I joined. I would really love for the family on this site to give me feed back, ideas, their thoughts..etc.. Now with that said, here it goes, some background first, I am 64 years young, I got covid 19 laid off in late June of this year, 24/7 chronic car crash pain, car crash was NOT my fault another person blew hrough a stoplight and I t-boned him. My right side of my body does not work correctly no more and never wil with the chronic pain. Now I am on a heavy dose of opoids, I HATE the opoids by the way. I ahve been to numerous psycharists since the car crash. Now I am ttoally alone in this world, no money, and have had 2 suicide attempts beofre. I keep wondering if ctb is the best way out of this damn mess, 3th suicide try and the cops find me bore I move to the other side will be a years long lockup, and I do NOT want that damn aspect. Any thoughts from the family here would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time. Love to all here!
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thx1138
Student
- Jun 28, 2019
- 160
I'm so sorry, what happened to you is truly awful. That's too much pain, I'm actually crying right now, sorry for all you went through. I got involuntarily commited to a psychiatric hospital once and I met many lovely people in their 60s and 70s there who tried to commit suicide. I loved talking to them and they were all so nice. It's so sad when older people have so many issues and so little help. I love you and I care about you, even if I don't know you. I wish I could help you somehow. I wish I could tell you it will all be ok. I wish doctors knew how to cure everything and stop the mental and physical pain. I wish life didn't suck so much.
RedDEE
Life sucks and then you die.
- May 10, 2019
- 356
listeningpost1379
enduring winter
- Apr 20, 2019
- 93
you have led a life that required so much strength, hard work and perseverance. it was evil how your determination to take fate into your hands and stop your pain was thwarted by the human world's cruel logic. my thoughts are with you.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,082
I'm sorry you are going through this. I have chronic pain and disability also. You mentioned two previous tries. I'm a very practical person and would like to know what you tried and what went wrong.
BTW I feel you are lucky to even get the opiods. Wish I could.
The 1st time I was just about ready to jump from a bridge witha rope around my neck and a police car came by and while 1 cop was talking to me the other one got around my from the back and grabbed me. Long stay in hospital. 2nd time I left my psycharists office and came home, had everything ready in the garage for full hanging and he must have put 2 and 2 together and again comes the cops. Longer stay in hospital AND HUGE court fight over commitment. At 64 years young with alot of medical amd mental problems if I try the 3rd time, 3rd time is the charm!, I am going to one of my favorite places in the world to say good bye to this crappy life. I have saved up for a long time. After the huge car crash, NOT my fault, another perosn blew through a stopsign and t t-boned him. he no scratchs at all and me 24/7 chronic pain and might be in a wheelchair someday. I went to 4 different pain clinics and they were, we are doctors shut up and do as we say. Well I of course said no, and found the most wonderous doctor, who started with, "what do you think?". He has save my life from the 24/7 pain.
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The best ways to ctb are outlined in the peaceful pill handbook good luck!
At 64 years young with alot of medical amd mental problems if I try the 3rd time, 3rd time is the charm!, I am going to one of my favorite places in the world to say good bye to this crappy life. I have saved up for a long time
I so get you - I'm 60 and looking back on regrets more than forwards to possibilities (even though from the outside my life seems ok).
Your pain is beyond my comprehension - you are so strong.
"At 64 years young with alot of medical amd mental problems if I try the 3rd time, 3rd time is the charm!, I am going to one of my favorite places in the world to say good bye to this crappy life. I have saved up for a long time," if that is what your heart is telling you, God Speed.
Like Conrad Aitken - Cosmic Voyager, destination unknown.
I so get you - I'm 60 and looking back on regrets more than forwards to possibilities (even though from the outside my life seems ok).
Your pain is beyond my comprehension - you are so strong.
"At 64 years young with alot of medical amd mental problems if I try the 3rd time, 3rd time is the charm!, I am going to one of my favorite places in the world to say good bye to this crappy life. I have saved up for a long time," if that is what your heart is telling you, God Speed.
Like Conrad Aitken - Cosmic Voyager, destination unknown.
I am so sorry for all your pain and suffering. I wish I could make it better for you. 
LADY007
Specialist
- Feb 25, 2020
- 373
I concluded out of all the ways to cbt.... Full or partial hanging seems the best. I have a 40 cubic foot tank of nitrogen and a plastic hood and I have sodium nitrite. I have strong rope I purchased from Amazon and a weight-bearing steel beam in my basement. If I did not have the beam... I would go find a tree to use. Just giving you my perspective on the matter. And, yes... you are valued and respected here. For different reasons... people know how the others feel here and it is comforting. Hope this helps you in some way.
FewerMoats
Member
- Sep 1, 2020
- 43
Cherrypea
I remember when all this will be again
- May 3, 2020
- 414
If you decide against it you could set up a suicide store with all your gear!
Seriously though I'm sorry for all your suffering and I hope you find peace soon x
LADY007
Specialist
- Feb 25, 2020
- 373
Thank you..I certainly have a choice !
Bullit
Mage
- May 6, 2021
- 504
Anywhere,you are one of my favorites. I think you can make it. Me,I long to be free of this hell!
HI! I totally feel and know where you are coming from. Some days/times everything seems to be at least somewhat ok, then BANG it all vaporizes in front of me.
Now with that aspect said, I lean heavily on everyone here for support and just to know that I am part of someone, something, that is much bigger than me.
I truly send you lots of huge hugs, love and the knowledge that YOU are a very important part of everyone here AND ME! Without you on here it would not be the same period.
I am 65 and I will have to find a job darn quick or out the door, eviction! I had money saved till my ex wife drained everything behind my back. So I start over. I have bad days, oh ya!, but I hold on to the belief that I can make it with the help of everyone here and that includes YOU.
Walter
I'm sorry for what you have been through. You have been the victim of the mistakes of others and you didn't get justice for that.
Life can be that unlucky for some people; I've been there too. And I know that my years are going to be more and more difficult as I age and as I can count only on myself. That's what sometimes makes me think: is it worth waiting? Is it worth hoping that in the future there might be something I should see?
I understand that it's hard for you, constant physical pain is something that drains your soul. Once upon a time people that were enduring pain in the name of God were called saints; nowadays they are considered a social burden, freaks or criminals.
Life can be that unlucky for some people; I've been there too. And I know that my years are going to be more and more difficult as I age and as I can count only on myself. That's what sometimes makes me think: is it worth waiting? Is it worth hoping that in the future there might be something I should see?
I understand that it's hard for you, constant physical pain is something that drains your soul. Once upon a time people that were enduring pain in the name of God were called saints; nowadays they are considered a social burden, freaks or criminals.
