Venting So close

[nir]

Getting knots in my stomach now that it's actually happening. A mix of anticipation and obviously SI. No getting around SI with all the attempt trauma I have, just have to do what I told myself. Deep breaths, telling myself it's just self harm and what happens happens. If it's meant to be it will kill me. If not then I'll pick up the pieces in the morning. I'll be picking it up in a few hours. I just need to book the hotel.

Are you planning on taking it tonight?

 

[willitpass]

I have it. Now just to book the hotel.

 

[sevennn]

you seem nice person. hope it won't be painful.

 

[willitpass]

Booked the hotel. Gonna head over now. Not sure when I'll do it but I have two days.
Checked in. Barricaded the door with a desk. Gonna get things situated. I've been clear liquid fasting since noon so I'm shaky as hell when combined with all the anxiety.

 

[CatLvr]

You already know what I'm gonna say but I'm gonna say it anyway -- there is no shame in changing your mind. We all love you and just want what is best for your well-being. And if you don't change your mind, know -- again -- we all love you and are hoping and praying your journey is smooth, painless and you find the peace and contentment we all seek. Smooth travels my friend.

 

[ladylazarus4]

I've been following your threads for about two months I think? But I've recognized you for much longer. I am both immensely relieved and saddened. I hope more than anything that your suffering is relieved. But I will miss you very much. I hope you finally find relief, as messed up as that sounds. Your pain is palpable. I wish you only peace.