Venting Sleep is making me suicidal

[purplerapture]

I wake up so suicidal and depressed then it takes me the rest of the day to get used to it and make myself feel better and happier. I'm sick of sleep I haven't slept in 24 hours and I don't want to it'll make me depressed again I can't deal with that anymore I refuse to I don't care. Right now I cleaned all the dishes and have an AMAZING breakfast later I'm gonna get my favourite drink and play video games. I feel content mostly numb and occasionally happy. Sleep is taking that away from me.

 

[jamie_]

I relate with taking the rest of the day to get used to it. It's like I wake up with this awful fog in my head and it takes all day to feel maybe a little bit of relief from the pain, but by that point I'm totally exhausted and worn out by the emotional conflict I had to process in my head that I'm completely worn out, go to sleep, and when I wake up it's like everything has reset itself again and I got more fog to clear.

 

[chr74]

@purplerapture it might be diurnal mood variation, you could try to get on some meds to see if that addresses the issue

 

[purplerapture]

I relate with taking the rest of the day to get used to it. It's like I wake up with this awful fog in my head and it takes all day to feel maybe a little bit of relief from the pain, but by that point I'm totally exhausted and worn out by the emotional conflict I had to process in my head that I'm completely worn out, go to sleep, and when I wake up it's like everything has reset itself again and I got more fog to clear.

It was exactly like this for me but now it somehow intensified I wake up so sad and anxious its almost hard to breathe I don't want to deal with these mornings anymore tbh I'll stay up as long as I possibly can

@purplerapture it might be diurnal mood variation, you could try to get on some meds to see if that addresses the issue

It's because of my borderline personality disorder I've been dealing with a lot lately especially this month and I'm able to feel happiness and excitement however sleep is taking that from me it forces me to process everything all over again its so cruel

 

[WorthlessCoward]

You sound trapped in nightmares like a Lovecraft character

Do not go beyond the wall of sleep

 

[purplerapture]

You sound trapped in nightmares like a Lovecraft character

Do not go beyond the wall of sleep

That sounds so oddly romantic

I know it's a bad idea but its making me enjoy life I am trapped and there's nothing I can do

 

[downndone2]

I'd rather sleep 24/7 then be in anxiety all the time

 

[purplerapture]

I'd rather sleep 24/7 then be in anxiety all the time

I'd rather sleep forever or never sleep at all