I was given up by two psychologists when opening up about my honest feelings about suicide. This was kind of traumatizing.
It was one reason why I never talked about suicide with her. 1,5 months ago I was in a severe crisis and transparent how nightmarish I feel. She noticed that my life quality is actually always extremely bad. I only alluded to that in the past.
She stopped messaging me. I think she spoke with the psychologist who gave me up some years ago they work together. I don't think she would not respond to me anymore but it is obvious that she stopped asking me how I am doing. It hurts pretty much but I am kind of used to it. I think she distanced herself in order not to get emotionally upset about my fate.
So all the offical help lines let me down when I reach out for help. And then they want to shut down my main support resource (SaSu). They should feel ashamed of themselves. Go fuck yourself.
Soon I have exams and I get so fucking depressed.
The extremely attractive girl I am somehwat friends with is so weird. She literally never messages me first. I was annoyed by that because I am investing way more into this friendship. I stopped messaging her because of that. And she looked pretty sad and shocked when she noticed I ghosted her. However she could simply send me a message and I would probably message her back within 5 minutes. I think she is scared I could think she is attracted to me if she did that because I acted that way in the past. (I was paranoid.) This friendship does not make sense to me if it is so one-sided and we only talk about college stuff. And no personal stuff.
It was one reason why I never talked about suicide with her. 1,5 months ago I was in a severe crisis and transparent how nightmarish I feel. She noticed that my life quality is actually always extremely bad. I only alluded to that in the past.
She stopped messaging me. I think she spoke with the psychologist who gave me up some years ago they work together. I don't think she would not respond to me anymore but it is obvious that she stopped asking me how I am doing. It hurts pretty much but I am kind of used to it. I think she distanced herself in order not to get emotionally upset about my fate.
So all the offical help lines let me down when I reach out for help. And then they want to shut down my main support resource (SaSu). They should feel ashamed of themselves. Go fuck yourself.
Soon I have exams and I get so fucking depressed.
The extremely attractive girl I am somehwat friends with is so weird. She literally never messages me first. I was annoyed by that because I am investing way more into this friendship. I stopped messaging her because of that. And she looked pretty sad and shocked when she noticed I ghosted her. However she could simply send me a message and I would probably message her back within 5 minutes. I think she is scared I could think she is attracted to me if she did that because I acted that way in the past. (I was paranoid.) This friendship does not make sense to me if it is so one-sided and we only talk about college stuff. And no personal stuff.
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