Should we stay alive for family

[Bruces]

Are we obliged to live for family?

 

[Makko]

No.

 

[MiseryWithoutCompany]

No.

Agreed.

It's a "nobel" choice to choose to, especially if there are loose ends you wish to tie up for the sake of closure, but there is nothing forcing any of us to do so. Might be what keeps some folks from CTBing though.

 

[deadverysoon]

living for those who left me for dead?

no.

 

[ClownMe]

In my opinion, no. Im staying alive for my dog at the moment and it's extremely draining, I love him so much but even he can't make my pain any better. I may be a bit biased as I have a horrible relationship with my family, namely my parents, but the human life span is so long that even if I did have a loving family I dont think I would continue living for them, the pain is just too excruciating.

 

[Jack4230]

I'm gonna offer a counter point here and say that it depends. Obviously everyone has a different situation but I'm of the idea that we should at least be somewhat considerate if our families have been good to us. Staying alive for decades because of family or friends is ridiculous but sometimes it's worth it to stay around for a bit longer and time the suicide because it will almost certainly destroy someone we know. That's just my two cents though and unfortunately I'm gonna be around for a while because the people in my life have been good to me and would be pissed if I offed myself.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Nope. Unless you have something that you need to finish first.

 

[slyna]

Def no. Your N1 prioarty is yourself

 

[thebigpigman]

Are we obliged to live for family?

Everyone says no, I will say big NO.
Your family is the reason for your depression, sadness and all bullshit.

 

[Apricity]

Never make a choice that serious for anyone but YOURSELF.

 

[Futile]

We aren't obliged to do anything

 

[FriendofDeath]

No, but I do and will. Probably. I know how much suicide can destroy those left behind. I live with it every day, if you can call what I do living.Sometimes I have to just get from one minute to the next.

 

[ncmxm]

No

I hate my parents for bringing me here, I never asked for any of it and I never asked to be born, so why should I keep living for them
I'm not close with anyone in my family so I see no point in staying alive for people I barely know and who barely know me

No one would be sad if I ctbed except my parents, well I'm sorry for that but how is it my problem
If they loved me they shouldn't have had me or should have aborted me

 

[Sra_TZ]

It is certainly not an obligation but I see a lot of people who struggle every day to keep themselves alive for their loved ones (not necessarily family). I know how it feels like to know that someone you genuinely love will be hurt by your suicide. I wish they understood and wished us peace but since that's going to happen, they might just have to live with the pain.

The simple answer is: No

 

[MiseryWithoutCompany]

I'm gonna offer a counter point here and say that it depends. Obviously everyone has a different situation but I'm of the idea that we should at least be somewhat considerate if our families have been good to us.

This is actually a good point.
Perhaps bailing on someone who is in a specific situation due to you is also a dick move, but if the suffering is beyond hope, hm... Really good point to muse about, though probably doesn't apply to me specifically.

 

[FuneralCry]

We did not ask to exist, so we have no obligations to stay alive. We have the right to take our lives when we choose to and nobody else has any say in that. I could never stay alive just for the sake of others, I would always put myself first and it would be selfish for others to expect me to suffer for decades against my wishes. I understand that they would be sad, but my parents chose to have children in a world that has unlimited potential for suffering.

 

[Snake of Eden]

yes. I feel obligated to stay alive for the time being because my suicide is the worst outcome for my family to deal with. I keep praying for another way of dying other than suicide but i am not really counting on it happening anytime soon. I would give all I have if I can just get a terminal illness that will finish me in matter of months. It is my dream to get a terminal illness because it is the best possible outcome in my situation

 

[Lmd]

If they don't need me to exist, no. If something happened to them and they need help, I know that I would be there living for them. So let's see if I have some luck and I kill myself before that happens.

 

[gayscal3xo]

I wanted to, but with the way they treat me sometimes, it feels pointless to aim for life for them, when they ruin it.

 

[LifeIsSh*t]

I think if you have young children then yes, as you kind of made a choice to have them and thus have an obligation to them. Any other family, then no, you had no control in choosing them so you can't be held accountable.

 

[user_name_here]

I guess it can vary from person to person and your relationship with your family. If you have a family that loves you then it's obviously worth trying to stick around and get better as they'll be left with a lifetime of irreversible pain that nothing can replace.

But even with that said, I understand first hand the immense pain one can feel just by existing while hating yourself and feeling like a total burden to everyone 24/7. It's very hard and CTB seems like the only way to end your personal suffering. It's a double edged sword but one side is arguably sharper and more dangerous than the other.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I wanted to ask similar question. I do not love my family anymore. We usually are very emotional about death and family. Emotions stop us from doing what is right or might stop us. Let us consider:
I didn't choose my family or my birth. They love me because I am their son or grandson, not because who I am really (consciousness, soul, spirit). Nobody choose to be here. There is nothing here to do or to achieve so death won't matter in great scheme of things. I love my family and empathies with them. They make me angry because they keep me here. and non of that arguments matter. There is great fear of retribution after death. "you hurt so many people by dying"

For me earth and body is a prison and life is death sentence, having hopes about life is Stockholm syndrome, because how the fuck could you enjoy that life. 9-5 for 40 years? health problems? Loneliness, boredom, depression and emotions. I don't want those. One could leave a note saying: "I loved you all but I couldn't enjoy my life "
There is no point in being martyr here. The evolution created many of those. I don't like system and system doesn't like me so why would I help It. I rather save myself.

Also If your parents couldn't help you in any way why would you help them. Truth is they love us like objects because mother nature said so. I try to be human but They shouldn't held us captive. I have a will to die and I have a right to. If I said It to my mother I would be sent to mental hospital for sure, or at least psychotherapist who helped nobody ever but It is easier to tell somebody to go to one than repair what cannot be repaired. We can only do stuff they expect from us, stuff that just repeat the cycle of samsara. Breed, find job, take care of me. They love us but we keep them from seeing us because we know they would be afraid and possibly disappointed in seeing how bad we do in this world. We kept secret from them so long It ate us alive and when there was nothing left we left our bodies behind with short suicide note. Parents might be cause of our suffering, truth which we fear, their neglect, or harm or simple mistake. We love them because they are our creators, our gods.
We were dependent on them for such long time.

They see themselves in us. We are their investment of time love and genes. We are the last chain of unbroken tradition of mindless reproduction, everybody in your family line was birth, lived, had sex, and died. For billions of years before you. Many have not and died without kids. Ate by predators or killed by disease. You might be one of them, killed by depression, neglect, bullying, chronic pain. but in this predicament the last strike came from your own hand. You were the one to turn the sword against yourself and said: "enough is enough". And your parents will be traumatized. "so young he/she died" they will say while I feel burden of memories knowledge and experience of many lifetimes. "he/she had such a bright future ahead of her" they will say, while I was rotting in my house for many years, or was rejected by people. "we were so good to him/her, we spent so much money etc." I give this up to your judgment you see. The family will always have expectations even if they lie about It. You carry their genes and they want their genes to succeed. To spread and evolve, to continue to live, survive and reproduce in this blender.

I cannot stand morally on the issue as I see morals have no place here. There is no victors in that game. If you spare yourself you will suffer, If you go family will suffer, they will get over it though after some time. Nobody is irreplaceable, I am sorry to say that. If you manage to live happy life with your family: who will save all of the chickens and cows, that you all gonna feast on while happily existing? This world doesn't have any point to it. It is not a school of life. If you want to escape: do It. Just don't look back and don't return in here. Peace

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Yeah, I'm living for my mom. She would be devastated if I killed myself. She would kill herself too. I'm gonna try to stay alive until my mom dies. If my mental health degrades I will probably request euthanasia. My mom is okay with that if my suffering turns unbearable. If they dont accept euthanasia, my mom will help me kill myself. But that's worst case scenario. Once my mom dies I will order N/SN so I have a way out anytime I like.

 

[lonerclown666]

my dad and mom are the reason why im still here

 

[Chiisai]

Might be what keeps some folks from CTBing though.

I agree. Was going to CTB but had to put it off for now because of a relative's passing. If I continued my plan, I feel the grief would be too much for my family to process healthily.

Though again, you have a choice.

 

[demuic]

It's very very difficult for me as in terms of family I'm in bad situation and my mother would be devastated, I'm really the only one she can talk to. The weight of that is really crushing and painful. But I just can't go on any longer. I can't.

It seems no matter what you do someone has to get hurt. Life really sucks.

 

[Chiisai]

It's very very difficult for me as in terms of family I'm in bad situation and my mother would be devastated, I'm really the only one she can talk to. The weight of that is really crushing and painful. But I just can't go on any longer. I can't.

It seems no matter what you do someone has to get hurt. Life really sucks.

That just means that in all the things that you experienced, you still have a good heart.

 

[deathisnear]

This one hit home. I have stayed alive my entire life in fear of hurting a handful of people. I know a handful of family will be deeply affected when I CTB and that has prevented me for pretty much my whole life from going through with it. I have reached a point however that I feel I cannot be obligated to stay for them any longer. I simply can't stand the pain anymore, can't stand the constant thoughts, the anxiety and depression, it's too much. I am doing my best to subtly let them know and will do everything in my power to make it as easy on them as possible, but I just can't stay for them any longer. It's not their fault, it's my decision and mine alone and they did nothing wrong, I hope to convey that to them in some way before I do it. I plan to CTB in the next few months.

 

[JonL666]

This is such a hard one, I have a little girl she is 8 now, she was always daddy's girl and my complete world, her mum has stopped me seeing her for over a year and a half now it kills me every day every minute I've missed her growing up and she is petrified to speak to me her mum has poisoned her mind so much, I miss our days out at crealy or the beach etc we used to go on adventures every week. Family courts are a waste of time especially as I've done some silly stuff in the past and her mum has worked for both social services and as a teacher so I have no chance of winning access the men never do anyway in these situations. The loss of contact is a major factor in my decision to CBT but along with a so many other things I won't go into on this thread. The reason I have not gone yet is that thought of her growing up wondering why her daddy is gone why he didn't stay and fight longer why when she gets married one day her dad isn't walking her down the aisle and this I find so hard I brought her into the world but I am to defeated to carry on with life myself anymore. Everytime I've come close I just see her face. I feel so bad I'm her father I should be her protector always, but I cannot see her anyway I'm a stranger to her now and it will always be that way. I have to go life is to much, to hard, to painful but the guilt I feel for my daughter is horrible.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No. It is a (personal) choice to continue existing, and not an obligation.