![ecmnesia](/data/avatars/l/21/21336.jpg?1601690696)
ecmnesia
the only thing humans are equal in is death
- Aug 30, 2020
- 767
not really about suicide, though it kinds of involves it.
my parents and brothers will travel this weekend to beach, though we are still in a pandemy. this trip involves a 9 hours rout with heat and traffic involved (since it will be a holiday in here). also, I will still be having online classes and three tests along the week. considering all of those factors, I have no wish to go, and normally I wouldn't. The thing is, it's my parents birthday (yes, both of them cause i am so fucking lucky), therefore i'm conflicted, i know they want me to go, but i don't want to. At the same time, I'm afraid i might suicide soon, so yes, there is that. And honestly, my relationship with my family has always been messed up, they are overwhelming controlling.
i dont know what to do, but i'm too tired to even get into a fight or pretend that i want something i do not.
sorry, i didn't know where else to talk about this.
my parents and brothers will travel this weekend to beach, though we are still in a pandemy. this trip involves a 9 hours rout with heat and traffic involved (since it will be a holiday in here). also, I will still be having online classes and three tests along the week. considering all of those factors, I have no wish to go, and normally I wouldn't. The thing is, it's my parents birthday (yes, both of them cause i am so fucking lucky), therefore i'm conflicted, i know they want me to go, but i don't want to. At the same time, I'm afraid i might suicide soon, so yes, there is that. And honestly, my relationship with my family has always been messed up, they are overwhelming controlling.
i dont know what to do, but i'm too tired to even get into a fight or pretend that i want something i do not.
sorry, i didn't know where else to talk about this.