Should I do it now?

[LitlaTa]

I just took my first lexapro today. I've tried prozac and remember feeling so happy at the thought of killing myself during the first weeks. The only difference is that today I had extreme ups and downs (still happening) since i took the first pill. When I'm down I'm so disgusted by myself that i cant take it and when im up im so happy i want to die. Is this a sign? I have a few methods in mind and everything. I could also just take the rest of the pack (99 pills) and go through the 100 promethazine tablets i just got too. that will certainly do it
is the universe genuenly telling me that its my time? i usually dont believe these universal signs but maybe god is calling me or something. might turn religious and cleanse myself of my sins before comitting just incase
could it be that someone is guiding me to the end? could I be some sacrifice?

 

[StonesAndTwigs]

Hi there, hope you're not feeling too terrible.

IMO you probably shouldn't be too hasty about ending things. Some medication can warp your thoughts, especially in the first few weeks, and could make you do things that you'd otherwise regret. I had an issue with mirtazipine before where it made me even more suicidal than usual, which resolved when I stopped it.

If possible, speak to your doctor, but otherwise just try distracting yourself until you can get a little more stable. You can always change your mind later, so no need to rush.


Good luck with everything