Discussion Share what makes you want to cry right now.

[Epsilon0]

I don't feel like crying, because my pain manifests itself in other ways.

But what I find devastating is that I am forever trapped by the irreversible choices I have made.

 

[Remember to forget]

People being dishonest, not following up on what they said, being lied to. This is what is making me cry.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

The fact I didn't die when I should have medically last year. It's an angry cry, I am so bitter about it. It's like life was laughing at me, denying me the one thing I wanted even though it wasn't planned.

 

[Blue Starz]

Having to work for a living. I've been working in cubicles for 30 years now and can't stand it. It sounds lazy and I'd rather have an income than not, but the work place has changed and become so stressful these past 10 years. Its all layoffs, possible layoffs, temporary unemployment insurance, changing hours, companies going under, cashing out savings to survive, and management putting more and more pressure and tasks on the lowest rung. I can't take the uncertainty, the pressure, the constant feeling that I'm going to stop breathing and pass out. Just when I think its all good, I'm told more pressure and uncertainty are on their way. There's nothing left of me to enjoy life at the end of the week and sitting down and crying is all I have. I have my boss catch me crying at work and had to give a lame excuse that I had allergies. I live feeling I'm going to snap.

It's a crazy unrealistic society that forces people to waste their lives like robot slaves in ways that are completely unnatural and have physical effects as we are not biochemically designed to do non-stop work especially Forcing our brains to process continuous flows of data, the body does not understand it. Some people instantly say well you have to work, of course we do and we should, but not like this, not doing these types of things for so many hours day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. It's even worse for people having to do restaurant jobs (i've done sometimes as a 2nd job in addition to office job) or having to spend 80% or more of your entire waking life Working, going to and from work, running errands, when do people actually get any enjoyment in life?

There are people slaving away in physical pain at the only jobs available that pay them $8 an hour (and that's before tax), doing horrible exhausting crappy jobs, and then they were told that's so-called "freedom"? Really, is it????

When you look at the total percentage of time when you're actually awake when you get to do whatever you want to relax, enjoy life, it's about 15% to 20% maximum.

Humans are designed to work for a few hours at a time then rest the nervous / neurological system. This isn't just "mental" stress, it's physical stress because our entire body is not built & designed to be continuously over-loaded for such long time periods. Not having our basic needs met, both emotionally and physically.

it's like having an invisible gun to the back of my head labeled "Do this or Become Homeless", which is even Worse with the most miserable physical conditions, full of nightmare scenarios. So instead I "choose" to work.

Like do we have a choice??
i truly sympathize

 

[Womble]

I know it seems like nothing in comparison to everyone else here but I thought I'd put it here anyway,
maybe I'll get to hate myself for it later, idk.

My lack of friends,
The fact my few friends are slowly pushing me away because I've done nothing but fail them,
My inability to cry even if I'm in a ball begging for it to happen,
My parents not wanting me,
Everyone in my life wanting rid of me

 

[Rue89]

Thinking about my plan to ctb on Tuesday and the pain it will cause my family, and the anxiety I'm feeling. Yes I often cry when my anxiety is really high and I hate it.

 

[Dnz4ever]

The fact that my wife and I were finally fulfilling our dreams (we're in our twenties) and she died. Life was finally going well for me. We had just bought our first home together, massive raises at work etc. And she had a pulmonary embolism the very day our first mortgage payment was due.

 

[darkhorse256]

1) Hallucinations from my sexual assault

2) Memory being absolute garbage because of the sexual assault

3) Having to act like everything is normal in front of my family so that they don't get mad at me

4) Knowing I would be hurting the only 2 people I care about if I do CTB. I love them and would never want to hurt them. So I cry because I'm still stuck here, living for their sake while existence is just so painful.

 

[idontevenknowanymore]

The things that brought me to this point haunt me 24/7 and make me cry a lot of the time because I guess I can't understand why I had to go through this. Why people can be so... Shitty.
Also my current horrible relationship to my family.

 

[GoBack]

I can't cry anymore. If I could it would be the pure loneliness. But anger takes over so I'm more likely to lash out instead so I try to suppress it which makes me more angry and then more lonely and then still can't cry.

 

[moodygrl]

I cant cry. Wish I could get in touch with my emotions and let it out but instead I just bottle it all up and sweep it under the rug. The only times in the past few years I did was when I lost control in my manic state and felt like a complete victim. But the thing is, Im not a victim. Buh I just hate myself. I sure made people around me cry and worry which was never my intention. Im such an emotionless looser and deserve to die

 

[Escapee]

God's silence

 

[ConstantPain]

Most of the time I can't cry. I'm too emotionally flat, tired, or angry. Occasionally I will start crying and I immediately get mad at myself for it. It's the quickest way for me to get a massive sinus headache and I don't need any additional physical pain.

 

[waffels]

what makes me want to cry right now is the fact that no one seems to take my transition seriously and everyone still thinks it's a phase (it's been 3 years since i came out)

 

[Saudade]

The guilt and shame that comes with having been sexually abused. I reported it and did what I could but authorities didn't do anything… I feel like I fucked my family up and it's all my fault. I'm also somewhat angry that I'm the one living the consequences of the abuse and not my abuser. My brain is forever altered, I grew up being sexually abused so yeah I don't think my brain can recover.

 

[charlotte_]

This might sound like something an emo 14yo would say, but I'm totally honest abt it. The fact that someone I love doesn't have the same feeling about me. I am a lesbian, but they are straight. I'm not sure if they're 100% straight or not, but at this point, I don't think there's a point in hoping about things like this. They're very important to me, in fact they're my favorite person (I have bpd) so this is insanely damaging to me. I can't text them or look at them anymore. I feel so incredibly crushed, I know I shouldn't be but well, here I am. I hate not being straight. I hate bpd.

 

[StolenLife]

My neighbour and hometown where I currently live.

 

[gap]

Leaving my daughter alone with my partner because I don't know if I still have the strength to go on.

 

[CTB Fella]

Existing.

 

[she]

Next weekend will be the last time I get to see my boyfriend before I finally CTB. Makes me tear up every time I think about it.

 

[melting_point]

The shame I feel everyday I hope I will all forget it.

 

[Unattainable666]

The fact that I need to ctb in order to be peaceful and not be tormented by cruel people.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't actually feel like crying, but I think the tragedy of life is enough to make someone want to cry. I do find it devastating how so many people are trapped in this hell with no reliable method, me included. And the fact that life has the potential to torture existing beings so extremely is something truly horrifying, there is too much pain in existing and lack of compassion towards those who suffer.

 

[uniqueusername39]

i did just cry. most of the time i feel emotionally flat-lined. the trajectory of my life is a straight line and the occasional pit of hell.

i feel lonely, misunderstood, and inadequate. if i speak up one more time about this i will be made out to be the villain for even daring to feel this way, as if me being lonely, misunderstood, and inadequate is a reflection of their failure of healing me or some shit. and it is. why are they mad at me about that? it's not like healing me is their responsibility.

 

[hellispink]

There is absolutely nothing left in me. It is very hard for me to cry these days. The more my time approaches, the less I cry.

 

[heavyeyes]

I cry almost every night. Tonight I cried about how I never actually got to live my life. I want to ctb next year so I never will. I think I deserved to live a good life but I'm too mentally ill and too traumatized. I refuse to continue suffering in this stupid ugly flesh suit. It's a prison.

 

[chicken-nugget]

I have to do everything alone. I cannot even rely on family to not stab me in the back that makes me cry lol

Everything I worked hard for feels pointless, I can't trust anyone and I can't depend anyone to stick around. I feel like I'm constantly used by everyone in my life.

 

[outrider567]

I cry every day, miss her so much, still can't handle her death

 

[endofafoxtwo]

I haven't been able to cry, I don't know why, I think it's because I don't know how to handle the pain if I'll start crying it's like it will break the wall that holds it al together even though I feel the pain it's still held together but if I start crying it will break and everything will be out and I don't know how to be with all of it out, how to keep breathing with it how to feel it. Any advice?
I constantly WANT to cry, every day ALL day long, because of various reasons but mainly pain and loneliness that's crushing me and fear so much fear about everything it's driving me insane, I'm in constant panic mode, it's like I'm on the verge of tears but I just can't.

furfarms.

 

[Escapee]

God's silence