Self preservation too stong

[jessie.freeman77]

Guys I don't understand why I can't get myself do it. I've been suffering from brain injury for close to 15 months now, and I'm forced to live everyday in a delirium repeating the same mundane cycle over and over again. I think every 5 minutes about how I'll never be able to do the things I wanted to do with my life, and that if I chose to go on I'll be forced to live in a reality without the use of my executive functions, never being able to become certified in anything that interested me before (I don't have interests or even really a personality anymore), or start a relationship with someone. Yet every time it comes down to it and I have things set up, I back out of it. It's extremely frustrating because I can't stand being like this anymore, yet it's as if my brain's adapted to this new state and I've been able to become content with the limited pleasures I still have access to.

Really wish I could just force myself into it somehow.

 

[Darkover]

only you can decide for yourself when your time is up, the only way i know of how to force yourself into it, is to be in so much pain that the only option left is end your life, maybe taking some drugs to cause some level of discomfort, i know from experience smoking weed and listening to music with headphones can cause a brain injury after about 1 year of everyday use for 8 hours aday

 

[missingpeace]

Your not alone, I'm in exactly the same position, I also do not have much brain function left plus so much more suffering. I actually booked a hotel room for 3 days to take SN and die but I couldn't take it in. There's nothing to live for, yet my SI kicks in each time. I'm almost out of AE and have to get some more. I feel like an idiot. What method are you going for? Honestly I would like to know how to get over it and just do this too. I want to be successful first time first go.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just the unfortunate reality that suicide is something which is so unnecessarily difficult and it's like the survival instinct exists to just cause more suffering and keep us trapped here in this cruel world. I understand why you would feel so frustrated.

 

[jessie.freeman77]

Your not alone, I'm in exactly the same position, I also do not have much brain function left plus so much more suffering. I actually booked a hotel room for 3 days to take SN and die but I couldn't take it in. There's nothing to live for, yet my SI kicks in each time. I'm almost out of AE and have to get some more. I feel like an idiot. What method are you going for? Honestly I would like to know how to get over it and just do this too. I want to be successful first time first go.

You know it's funny, I did the exact same thing recently. Made a last second decision on the third day not to go and just ended up wasting most of the money I have left.

I'm planning on jumping.