PianoGoat

PianoGoat

Pianist
Dec 10, 2024
39
Im sorry if im being annoying but i just need to get this out...
I promised myself i wouldnt do it anymore, ever again, i thought i was done and id never do it again... its been 4 months and i just threw it all away by cutting now.
Im tired of this shit i hope i can soon move out and get a credit card to buy sn and end this.
I've had enough.
all my life i help others. all my life i keep getting fucking treated like shit by EVERYONE, even those who "say" they love me.
Nobody fucking loves me, god they like somebody easy to take advantage of, they know i never say anything.
I want this to just end.
i wish for once in my life i were selfish enough to do ONE, ONE single good thing for myself.
I know it's selfish but i need it so bad
i think i just need somebody to talk to im so lonely :(
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,034
I also feel so tired of it all, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.
 
PianoGoat

PianoGoat

Pianist
Dec 10, 2024
39
I also feel so tired of it all, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.
Yeah like what the fuuuckkk, its christmas in a week??? i feel like the last 3 years i havent even been alive...
 
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,681
I also relapsed recently. I've been clean for about 4-5 months. I even bought a knife for it. I'm starting to lose my ability to give a shit anymore.
 
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PianoGoat

PianoGoat

Pianist
Dec 10, 2024
39
I also relapsed recently. I've been clean for about 4-5 months. I even bought a knife for it. I'm starting to lose my ability to give a shit anymore.
wow.. i feel you on that.
Like i feel sometimes that there was no point in stopping... like i dont get why i got "clean" when at the end of everything i take care of my cuts, and this is the only thing that brings me joy
 
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TinyGuy

Member
Aug 30, 2024
33
I feel you I always tell to myself I won't do it but I can't even last 1 week at least u managed to do it for 4-5 months I wonder how do ppl manage to not do it ever once they start.
I wanna fuck up myself so badly thats why im satisfying the urge by doing it a bit.
 
PianoGoat

PianoGoat

Pianist
Dec 10, 2024
39
I feel you I always tell to myself I won't do it but I can't even last 1 week at least u managed to do it for 4-5 months I wonder how do ppl manage to not do it ever once they start.
I wanna fuck up myself so badly thats why im satisfying the urge by doing it a bit.
I get that feeling, but thats my issue, once i wait months, when i cant hold it in anymore i go very rough on myself... i could barely walk today it burned so much
 

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