Self harm annoyance list

[four_walls_girl]

List of things I find annoying as a self harmer. Realising these are pretty specific at some points so I don't know if they're all that relatable lmao.


in no particular ranking order:

♡ cutting in bed cause you're lazy and getting blood on your favourite bed sheets

♡ putting down your blade for one second and losing it/ subsequently saying "fuck it" and going to sleep hoping you don't wake up with a blade lodged in your butt

♡ not finding the right video on YouTube/ music to fit the mood and most of your session is spent looking only to eventually settle with some shitty YouTuber or song you don't even like all that much

♡ headphones die barley halfway into your session

♡ hyping yourself up for one swipe to be beans or deeper and then it ends up barley a catscratch. either cause the blade is that shitty or SI.

♡ again SI getting in the way when you're trying to multiswipe quickly so the cut already ends up filling with blood before you can.

♡ multiswiping but you have shit precision skills so it goes diagonal to the cut and you end up with a triangle of skin that's absolutely gonna get infected

♡ being terrible at medical stuff and just general visual detection so you don't know if a cut is getting infected or not even after searching the signs.

♡ wanting to cut but paranoid cause you haven't showered or shaved and what if someone walks in to find out and you're forced to go to the hospital in greasy hair and stinky days old pjs.

♡ being on your period or feeling too sick to cut so you can't be bothered to deal with all the clean up or aftercare.

♡ getting a blade thinking it's going to be sharp enough and it ends up the dullest shit that does absolutely nothing



Feel free to add your own :3

 

[melonrazor]

contemplating if i should use my nails or a rusty blade

 

[nothingspecial]

Omg this is sooo relatable! You nailed it.

Another one is that my cuts get super itchy when they heal for some reason, and I end up looking like a maniac just itching my thighs all day. Also sometimes after the rush of cutting I get too queasy to look at them and end up going to sleep to avoid having to look at them and do aftercare.

 

[four_walls_girl]

contemplating if i should use my nails or a rusty blade

first thing I ever used was a rusty blade. How I didn't get infected is still a mystery

 

[nails]

- the itch™
cuts becoming itchy during the healing/scarring process... i hate it so much. shit is so annoying, it could put me in recovery.

 

[Cyber4ngel!]

Using the pencil sharpener blade, losing the screw and then u don't have a way to sharpen your pencils anymore (bonus points of annoyance if you're an artist)

 

[soledad.virgen]

rougher blankets irritating cuts always annoys me hhh

 

[TheNatureOfDying]

this isn't necessarily about cutting itself- but what annoys me most about self harm is the anxiety about people noticing my cuts or burns. most of mine are covered up by my clothing but if i'm naked or shirtless someone might notice the big ones on my arm. i have some on my leg now that aren't covered by my socks and i probably should've realized what i was doing, but sometimes i just get the impulse to hurt myself and don't really think about the consequences. most people don't notice (or don't say anything) but i don't want certain friends noticing because i don't want them to be worried about me.

 

[avalokitesvara]

- having to be super vigilant about what clothing you're wearing at all times including pjs to make sure no one sees bandages/wounds/new scars
- having an extremely vivid sense of where to cut but not being able to bc there's already scars there (maybe this is just me but all my scars are individual and very precious to me and I don't want to cut over them)
- not enough blood but feeling too much SI to carry on
- having the strong vision of cutting in extremely obvious places which would trigger too much concern (hands, head, face)
- not being able to cut bc I know that if I get in a bath with a blade I will be very tempted to ctb and it's not my time or method or place yet.
- being goddamn 33 years old and people thinking this is just something emo teens do (no disrespect to emo teens , it's just kind of embarrassing to be this old)
- every time I shave my head getting triggered