Seeing your bullies after many years

[dyingslowly]

Well, I wanted to ask what people here think of their bullies, I just used facebook to look up my bullies and see how they are doing and quite surprisingly they are doing all great, employed, married, children (more bullies produced). They ruin the lives of other people, destroy them mentally and then go ahead in life to live it. While people like me suffer, I stopped believing on stories that bad of people catches up to them, no it never catches up to them and they never pay. All they do is take take and take. So, do you know about your bullies? if so then how they are doing rn?

 

[StolenLife]

I hate my bullies and I will never ever forgive them. I will not feel safe as long as they are alive. As for what they are currently doing I have no idea, all I know is that some are at University and some are working. They are really nasty people. At least I'm comforted by the fact that I'll finally forget them when I die.

 

[Mxverick]

I've bullied a lot of people, and in many cases I don't even regret it.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Well, I wanted to ask what people here think of their bullies, I just used facebook to look up my bullies and see how they are doing and quite surprisingly they are doing all great, employed, married, children (more bullies produced). They ruin the lives of other people, destroy them mentally and then go ahead in life to live it. While people like me suffer, I stopped believing on stories that bad of people catches up to them, no it never catches up to them and they never pay. All they do is take take and take. So, do you know about your bullies? if so then how they are doing rn?

I'm not convinced they ever will. Sure they may have some problems but comparatively no. Most have strong social networks and families who care.... My family doesn't care about me and took away their love when things happened with me. Friends ha no. I'm not sure I've ever had a true friend. Simply put having friends insulates yourself from problems like being victims of a crime like myself because people will look out for you. No one cares about me so if my life is ruined, destroyed, whatever who cares. Financial issues? Lost job? They can get another one easily or take out a loan from a friend they'll repay. Sick? People who care and will take care of you. Myself? Whenever I've been sick I've never had someone who cares. Hell even the loans I have that are co-signed go away if I die. It's one thing to be suicidal but I swear people are pushing me there too. In essence what bullies have is people willing to fight for them.

So no it's a lie. Those marginalized will always be marginalized. Society just kind of goes towards it. Then complain if it causes issues.

Depends on bullies from when... Most are doctors now. As for me I'm in an IRTS program effectively homeless. Someone society got what they wanted me sent to the absolute margins of society. Basically sentenced to misery and death. No one willing to fight for me.

I've bullied a lot of people, and in many cases I don't even regret it.

Why?

I hate my bullies and I will never ever forgive them. I will not feel safe as long as they are alive. As for what they are currently doing I have no idea, all I know is that some are at University and some are working. They are really nasty people. At least I'm comforted by the fact that I'll finally forget them when I die.

I mean to be fair forgiveness to at least should mean they are going to make things right. But frankly very few people bullies will ever ask forgiveness. They don't care. To be honest they've likely already forgotten who you are. You were a plaything at the time. A toy to be picked up and abused. Then discarded.

 

[edu0z]

I forgave my abusers years ago... I'm not saying I've become friends with them but I don't hold resentment. Who I can't forgive is myself for being so weak.

I did a lot of bad things in life, but this is the sickest of all.

I was in ninth grade and there was this guy we'll call "Carlo."
He lost his mother to a brain tumor the year before, he was clearly depressed and had a hard time going to school and his dad was a truck driver and was hardly ever home.
The 14 year old me to protect my boss status, started constantly joking about his mom and even made him cry 3 times throughout the year.
I called him tic-carlo because every now and then he had some tics.
I stole the money from his backpack several times, both in class and when we were doing P.E. (we had the return), and almost every time we met outside of school I made him give me money by "borrowing" it.
He clearly had some kind of pathology or syndrome, because she was incredibly stupid.

He failed almost every subject and I never saw him again.

I never felt guilty, but since then many people have started ignoring me…

wow. that's strong... group psychology is what it brings

 

[Mxverick]

Who I can't forgive is myself for being so weak.

Whenever my parents saw me crying or just being emotional, they started yelling at me, hitting me and giving me detention. Because I had to be "strong".

I don't blame them.

 

[edu0z]

Whenever my parents saw me crying or just being emotional, they started yelling at me, hitting me and giving me detention. Because I had to be "strong".

I don't blame them.

I wasn't just weak when I let them abuse me. I was even weaker when I grew up and became someone who abused others... that's the weakest kind of person there is. Strong people protect what is important to them and don't feel the need to abuse anyone, and I was too weak to protect what was truly important to me and I got carried away by my ego.

 

[Mxverick]

I wasn't just weak when I let them abuse me. I was even weaker when I grew up and became someone who abused others... that's the weakest kind of person there is. Strong people protect what is important to them and don't feel the need to abuse anyone, and I was too weak to protect what was truly important to me and I got carried away by my ego.

I agree

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

I've bullied a lot of people, and in many cases I don't even regret it.

You will not be missed.

 

[Gaga786]

All of my bullies are thriving in life. Amazing grades, top universities, can drive, confident, marriage, relationships, people love them etc. Whereas, im here broken and preparing for my funeral– which sucks. It's unfortunate that life turned out this way

 

[marshmallowfluff]

I darent look mine up. All I know is that one is in prison for paedophilia, and I only know that cos I saw him in the newspaper. Seeing those people again terrifies me and I will never feel safe whilst they walk the planet.

In which part of your life were you bullied?

 

[TooConscious]

Well, I wanted to ask what people here think of their bullies, I just used facebook to look up my bullies and see how they are doing and quite surprisingly they are doing all great, employed, married, children (more bullies produced). They ruin the lives of other people, destroy them mentally and then go ahead in life to live it. While people like me suffer, I stopped believing on stories that bad of people catches up to them, no it never catches up to them and they never pay. All they do is take take and take. So, do you know about your bullies? if so then how they are doing rn?

I've noticed some bullies appear to be living high and easy despite little effort apparent.
I'm sorry you're suffering resentment, I have for years and it's doing me no good while I'm focusing seething bitter, even, on scum shit houses wicked fucks and even some family/friends from my past more is going out the door. Im trying to change my perspective to " well I'm the universe it's up to me the world is an emotional mirror and fuck have I got myself.into a mess inside of it. It can be tough to believe are childhood suffering is karma.

That's the only road that seemed to help me, don't know if I believe this shit but life can be pretty shit and seem a shit deal. We have to try and make the best of it, because you're luckier than most if you get support in this world.
But we all deal with stuff differently, all the best to anyone suffering, not in the pacifist sense but I don't think anything should suffer because, being, existence , it shouldn't exist to 'begin' with.

 

[dyingslowly]

I darent look mine up. All I know is that one is in prison for paedophilia, and I only know that cos I saw him in the newspaper. Seeing those people again terrifies me and I will never feel safe whilst they walk the planet.

In which part of your life were you bullied?

I did got bullied when I was a kid, until I beat the shit out of that fking kid who used to bully me along with help from my big brother, then I got punished in the school for being violent, I loved the look of defeat on his face. I messaged him a few months ago on facebook just "hi" seen no reply and now he ran off to another country. He probably knows that I am coming to fix some old business with him and bring some action to his happily married life. Similarly, I did got bullied a couple of times after that, but I make everyone around me uncomfortable, I never show that I am weak or I will hesitate in killing them or myself. As Adults they know what can happen and they stay away which is nice.

 

[TooConscious]

I wasn't just weak when I let them abuse me. I was even weaker when I grew up and became someone who abused others... that's the weakest kind of person there is. Strong people protect what is important to them and don't feel the need to abuse anyone, and I was too weak to protect what was truly important to me and I got carried away by my ego.

You recognize your past faults and that along with trying to make a mends would be enough for most people, depending on the level.
Trouble is when you have empathy, I believe in this world of sadistic manipulation by the current/previous ruling classes you begin to think it's bad to feel others pain because theirs so much of it around. Then we compartmentalize are own and can be too hard on ourselves.

We can only do what we can now with best intentions.

 

[Csmith8827]

You should watch a show called "The Glory" on Netflix. The whole series is about her getting revenge on the people who bullied her. It's really good to watch. I don't even like TV but I loved that show.

 

[unsaiddes]

They're all doing just fine, to my knowledge. Most of my bullies were former friends who turned against me for some unknown reasons, and started ostracizing me from the group and mocking me to my face and behind my back. I don't hate them, it just still makes me sad I suppose. I never found out what I did wrong.

I hope they've changed and never treat another person the way they treated me.

 

[oneeyed]

I try not to look them up. With my luck they are all 1000x more successful than me without having to deal with anxiety disorders and other mental health issues. There are times I think of the movie Law Abiding Citizen and dream about coming up with an elaborate plan of revenge. But it's just a fantasy and the more I do it the more they win, living in my head rent free.

 

[TooConscious]

I wasn't just weak when I let them abuse me. I was even weaker when I grew up and became someone who abused others... that's the weakest kind of person there is. Strong people protect what is important to them and don't feel the need to abuse anyone, and I was too weak to protect what was truly important to me and I got carried away by my ego.

I re read my comment and I'm sure you understand it's a very complex issue that cannot be addressed in a message. I can see my grammar is shite as per, but hope you understand im trying to convey, that guilt and negating yourself, it doesn't have to be an issue, unless we make it one.
We're no different to the vast majority of other functioning human beings.
And I mentioned making amends which if it's going to just create pain for people you've wronged and you don't feel fully equipped or in a position to deal with it, you aren't under any obligation to go there. Hopefully it does come through what I mean is all we can do is act now and try to do as little damage as possible to our environment and others.
But it sucks to be human we aren't equipped to understand alone we are a collective and that's why we've done things we regret because it's nature.
Having empathy, feeling a red flush from something I did half my life ago makes no sense because all that is, is memory.
I meant to say, well done for your honesty, but I wouldn't recommend doing that out in the physical world as people love to be judgemental and if they sniff your sense of empathy they will see you as shooting target to make themselves look better. Not all people there are still some alright ones but most of us are car crashing through this life and im seeing more people like me so damaged they don't know their head from their arsehole. Best wishes.

 

[Artictart]

My bullies are also doing great, i see them on social media and it destroys me everytime. Karma doesn't exist

 

[edu0z]

I re read my comment and I'm sure you understand it's a very complex issue that cannot be addressed in a message. I can see my grammar is shite as per, but hope you understand im trying to convey, that guilt and negating yourself, it doesn't have to be an issue, unless we make it one.
We're no different to the vast majority of other functioning human beings.
And I mentioned making amends which if it's going to just create pain for people you've wronged and you don't feel fully equipped or in a position to deal with it, you aren't under any obligation to go there. Hopefully it does come through what I mean is all we can do is act now and try to do as little damage as possible to our environment and others.
But it sucks to be human we aren't equipped to understand alone we are a collective and that's why we've done things we regret because it's nature.
Having empathy, feeling a red flush from something I did half my life ago makes no sense because all that is, is memory.
I meant to say, well done for your honesty, but I wouldn't recommend doing that out in the physical world as people love to be judgemental and if they sniff your sense of empathy they will see you as shooting target to make themselves look better. Not all people there are still some alright ones but most of us are car crashing through this life and im seeing more people like me so damaged they don't know their head from their arsehole. Best wishes.

We must leave the world better tha it were when we found it... that is why we have came. Thank you friend for your kind and wise words.

 

[Gonnerr]

If i could find them , i would likely kill them easily, a fire is very easy to set. But can't remember their names , fortunatly for them.

 

[shatteredlife]

I have received friend requests from some of them on Facebook. I can't believe that they think we are friends. I know they are just sending requests to everybody that they went to school with. But I would think that when you have only ever been mean to someone you would remember that and would avoid trying to friend them on social media . When I see these requests I can hear RifRaf from Rocky Horror

 

[funeralcat]

There was this girl who used to make fun of me calling me the most stupid and "anti-social" person she have ever seen. She stopped doing these comments when she saw me crying.
Also, I was called one of the ugliest girls, boys made fun of me saying "That's your girlfriend, eww"

 

[LonelyKitten]

Oh, I was downright obsessed with them. Never let go. In the end, I'm pretty sure I subconsciously ruined myself through that obsession.
Kept re-engaging with them, when I could've just walked away from it all and lived my own life.
But I kept seeking some form of "restitution", in a sense, or acknowledgment.

How stupid in the end. So weak. They never cared, and never will care, no matter how ruined I end up.
The only one that needed to acknowledge things were wrong, and make them back up to me, was myself.

 

[prezmyl]

Oh, I was downright obsessed with them. Never let go. In the end, I'm pretty sure I subconsciously ruined myself through that obsession.

form what I learnt,
It is not easy to let go, your subconscious(body) is forcing you into those situations in order to replay them and finally discharge all that related survival energy and those linked powerful emotions. if you are also a mind person like most people is, it can be also in the form of thought, images that can develop into so called obsessions.
But once traumatized, your nervous system is usually too activated by this triggers and its capacity is too low to be able to contain such a fullblown sensation and you are basicly retraumatizing yourself and recreating those overloaded binds in your brain.
Btw There are now ways how to systematically builds up capacity of nervous system and a gentle ways how to slowly iteratively in titrated form resolves this inprints and gently discharge the energy, hence relieve those overloaded bindings(associations) in the brain.

 

[lu15007]

I met one of my school "bullies" recently. We shaked hands smiled and talked about out new lives in university. He did hurt me a lot emotionally during school and I dislike him as a person, but to be honest I'd much rather see him than with my school friends. There were reasons for him to bully me, I'm an easy target and he wanted to be cool, I understand. Of course I am biased, I will forever hate him and talk shit, but I think he is a good person, better than me at least.

 

[LonelyKitten]

form what I learnt,
It is not easy to let go, your subconscious(body) is forcing you into those situations in order to replay them and finally discharge all that related survival energy and those linked powerful emotions. if you are also a mind person like most people is, it can be also in the form of thought, images that can develop into so called obsessions.
But once traumatized, your nervous system is usually too activated by this triggers and its capacity is too low to be able to contain such a fullblown sensation and you are basicly retraumatizing yourself and recreating those overloaded binds in your brain.
Btw There are now ways how to systematically builds up capacity of nervous system and a gentle ways how to slowly iteratively in titrated form resolves this inprints and gently discharge the energy, hence relieve those overloaded bindings(associations) in the brain.

This sounds exceptionally interesting. Can you tell me this about... exactly 6 years ago? D:
I do realize I kept recreating those situations and emotions, kind of keeping myself perpetually traumatized.

Is there a name for the type of therapy (?) you're talking about?

 

[prezmyl]

This sounds exceptionally interesting. Can you tell me this about... exactly 6 years ago? D:

not sure that I understand exactly what should I tell about? not sure if you are referring to the other post you liked and you are interesting in that story or you want to know more about the method and explanations?

Is there a name for the type of therapy (?) you're talking about?

Somatic experiencing. If you look up some of my older post I am mentioning it more in some of them. But feel free to ask or pm if suited better.