scared of myself scared of my brain

[moonflow3r]

why am i like this. i was actulaly getting better. i was building a life for myself. then some shitass dickhead rejects me and i start spiraling> and i mess around with school . and now i dont want to go . i hate myself for this . maybe life is all about faking it until you make it ? maybe just maybe i can fix my shit and be happy. but my brain works agaisnt me all the time. i dont know why i do the stuff i do

 

[LunarEc]

Have you ever tried therapy or meds? Depression is tough to deal with alone, and everything, including yourself and your brain, can work against you when you're that depressed.

 

[moonflow3r]

Have you ever tried therapy or meds? Depression is tough to deal with alone, and everything, including yourself and your brain, can work against you when you're that depressed.

i kind of tried meds for a week but they made it all worse.

 

[LunarEc]

i kind of tried meds for a week but they made it all worse.

First week usually doesn't do much...your body needs time to get used to it. There's various types of antidepressants. I'm on Prozac (SSRI) it doesn't help me much. I think I do feel more energetic, but I did talk to my doctor. They'll put me on something totally different. Keep trying until one works for you. It probably won't take more than 2 tries.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

why am i like this. i was actulaly getting better. i was building a life for myself. then some shitass dickhead rejects me and i start spiraling> and i mess around with school . and now i dont want to go . i hate myself for this . maybe life is all about faking it until you make it ? maybe just maybe i can fix my shit and be happy. but my brain works agaisnt me all the time. i dont know why i do the stuff i do

You sound young. It takes some adapting, and yes fake it 'till you make it really works. I did the same thing, and it got me from zero to being around the people at the top. Lot of hard work, lot of introspection like you're doing. Don't worry about the shitass dickheads. There's going to be a lot more of them, and it doesn't matter if a shitass dickhead rejects you. The nice-ass pretty-heads will come around eventually.

You can fix your shit and be happy. It just takes time. Your brain will always be a barrier, sometimes. Esp if you're young. It really takes until you hit 25 when the brain is fully developed to start feeling like you can handle it. Just remember that even slight changes in a rockets direction can lead to it going in a completely different direction. i.e. small steps seem useless in the beginning--but they can add up huge.