Saw someone commit suicide

[eimdia]

I work in end of life care and met this lady a a few months ago who has stuck out in my mind. She wanted to use medical self administered euthanasia and told us that the first time she met us. Literally the next day she took the medications and died peacefully. I wish I had the courage to just make up my mind and follow through with a plan like that. I don't know why but I get scared. I also don't have access to any comfortable ways of going. I wish I could be at peace now like her. :(

 

[BornHated]

It seems her resolve was really in place. That's fascinating, she straight up just got to your center (I assume this is some sort of center? I don't know much about End of Life care) and pretty much went "nah, not for me. Bye."
Wish I had that sort of moxie too, dear god.

 

[eimdia]

It seems her resolve was really in place. That's fascinating, she straight up just got to your center (I assume this is some sort of center? I don't know much about End of Life care) and pretty much went "nah, not for me. Bye."
Wish I had that sort of moxie too, dear god.

Yeah I work in hospice and she literally said she wanted only one visit at home to take the medications. She talked about like she was talking about going to a movie or something. The next day she got her visit and passed peacefully. I wish I could have that kind of resolve.

 

[BornHated]

Yeah I work in hospice and she literally said she wanted only one visit at home to take the medications. She talked about like she was talking about going to a movie or something. The next day she got her visit and passed peacefully. I wish I could have that kind of resolve.

Huge respect for the work you do, and since you're here I'm sure you've seen enough in your day to day work to warrant some of the deeper and darker thoughts life can stir in you.
I think some people get enough time throughout their lives to really mull things over and find that resolve. I've met a lot of people who didn't think they'd make it to their 20s getting excited about their signs of age and making it to older age, but I can imagine there's plenty of people on the opposite side of that coin, maybe the final stages of life would offer nothing they wanted if they can't carry out the life they would've wanted anymore and they're just ready to go.

Whatever happens, I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for you.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damnnt, i agree wholeheartedly with you both. Really wish I had that kind of resolve myself. Sorry for the stupid question but what were the medications she took? Wasn't N or anything like that?

Thanks for sharing this with us , thoughts and prayers to you always -

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you find it a difficult job to do? I think you are providing an incredible and humane service. I think I'd struggle though. I have so many conflicting ideas around death. I think people ABSOLUTELY have the right to leave at a time of their choosing. At the same time, maybe so many family deaths tend to make me sad about it.

Your lady sounded amazing. I hope I will be that resolute too. I'm happy for her. She's at peace now I believe.

 

[SorrowMind]

I work in end of life care and met this lady a a few months ago who has stuck out in my mind. She wanted to use medical self administered euthanasia and told us that the first time she met us. Literally the next day she took the medications and died peacefully. I wish I had the courage to just make up my mind and follow through with a plan like that. I don't know why but I get scared. I also don't have access to any comfortable ways of going. I wish I could be at peace now like her. :(

sounds so peaceful. how does someone qualify for such a peaceful death where you live? was she terminal? some people are citizens of such privileged countries that treat them so humanly.
there are people on this forum who are terminal or have such severe incurable physical illnesses and injuries and they want out because there is no tratment drugs or anything to fix the problem.
Instead, they are forced by their government to endure a slow excruciating painful death or existence even objectively that can last days, months, years depending on their condition and their luck.
I find this one of the most disgusting thing anyone can do to human beings, allowing torture unnecessarily

 

[eimdia]

Damnnt, i agree wholeheartedly with you both. Really wish I had that kind of resolve myself. Sorry for the stupid question but what were the medications she took? Wasn't N or anything like that?

Thanks for sharing this with us , thoughts and prayers to you always -

It's a mixture of 4 meds - I know morphine is part of it but not sure what else. I think something similar to N is in it and I know it's really expensive (over $1000) so only fairly wealthy patients unfortunately get to do it even though it's available to people with 6 months or less prognosis.

sounds so peaceful. how does someone qualify for such a peaceful death where you live? was she terminal? some people are citizens of such privileged countries that treat them so humanly.
there are people on this forum who are terminal or have such severe incurable physical illnesses and injuries and they want out because there is no tratment drugs or anything to fix the problem.
Instead, they are forced by their government to endure a slow excruciating painful death or existence even objectively that can last days, months, years depending on their condition and their luck.
I find this one of the most disgusting thing anyone can do to human beings, allowing torture unnecessarily

Where I live if you have 6 months or less prognosis and can see 2 doctors who verify that you can qualify to get life ending medications. I am happy it is legal where I live. Working in hospice I have seen so much suffering and it is ok if people want to keep living, but no one should be forced to live with excruciating cancer or other terminal illnesses indefinitely. Usually the hospice sends a team out to be there with the patient when they take it, but the patient has to actually take it on their own.

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy those who die peacefully so much, and I just believe that those who no longer exist certainly are fortunate as they are free from this horrific world and they cannot suffer anymore. To me, passing away peacefully certainly does sound like the best thing that could possibly happen, it really is tragic how only those who are very fortunate die such a peaceful death and how peaceful ways to leave are denied from us. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit after so unfairly being forced into existence in the first place.

 

[eimdia]

I envy those who die peacefully so much, and I just believe that those who no longer exist certainly are fortunate as they are free from this horrific world and they cannot suffer anymore. To me, passing away peacefully certainly does sound like the best thing that could possibly happen, it really is tragic how only those who are very fortunate die such a peaceful death and how peaceful ways to leave are denied from us. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit after so unfairly being forced into existence in the first place.

I really agree, we shouldn't have to be on a site desperately trying to look for a non-painful solution - I believe we all have a right to decide whether we should keep living or not.

 

[Cathy Ames]

It's a mixture of 4 meds - I know morphine is part of it but not sure what else. I think something similar to N is in it and I know it's really expensive (over $1000) so only fairly wealthy patients unfortunately get to do it even though it's available to people with 6 months or less prognosis.

Where I live if you have 6 months or less prognosis and can see 2 doctors who verify that you can qualify to get life ending medications. I am happy it is legal where I live. Working in hospice I have seen so much suffering and it is ok if people want to keep living, but no one should be forced to live with excruciating cancer or other terminal illnesses indefinitely. Usually the hospice sends a team out to be there with the patient when they take it, but the patient has to actually take it on their own.

Not sure where you live (and don't want you to reveal it!), but I know in the U.S. this 4-drug cocktail is far, FAR less expensive than N. The huge expense of the type of N that is licensed for humans to take is the reason they worked really hard to come up with a different method. And I think the method is still evolving.

 

[angelofdeath1]

what did she take

 

[AlePizarnik]

where can I go to get this

 

[blackwidow]

You get scared because this is killing yourself your talking about.. Doesn't really get more final than that.. Or the would be noone on this site if that easy.. Hats off to your job

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Not sure where you live (and don't want you to reveal it!), but I know in the U.S. this 4-drug cocktail is far, FAR less expensive than N. The huge expense of the type of N that is licensed for humans to take is the reason they worked really hard to come up with a different method. And I think the method is still evolving.

Is it the amitriptyline cocktail that you are referring to? I used to see it mentioned quite a lot but not recently.

 

[DukeDestroyer]

I've never seen anyone ctb IRL. I've seen videos where people ctb. One was on a train and reached and grabbed a live wire, his body flashed twice before collapsing. The other one was of a terminally I'll man with a muscle illness. He took a drug cocktail at a euthanasia clinic. His last words were "Water"

 

[Cathy Ames]

Is it the amitriptyline cocktail that you are referring to? I used to see it mentioned quite a lot but not recently.

No, it's not. It is something like THIS.

Also, according to the info on the End of Life Choices Oregon site, I may have been somewhat mistaken about the current cost of barbiturates (professional use for this purpose).