I feel like this so many times in life, but I can't ctb until I'm ready and I hate that, like what's different killing yourself unprepared than prepared? it's still same thing, you still die. my family expectation me to kill myself but I want kill myself peacefully but I can't do that in my country so only option is hanging, jumping, drowning and stuff like that. and can't do that because I'm extremely a pussy and lazy, fuck