Venting Revenge Suicide

[FERAL_FRENZY]

My reasons for wanting to CTB don't only revolve around a desire to find eternal peace. I want to traumatize my scumbag mother and make her regret bringing another life into this world. My death will haunt her indefinitely, and she'll never fully be whole again. She'll get a taste of all the mental anguish I've been dealing with for years on end, but I won't be there for her to bitch and moan to.

She won't even receive closure in the form of a letter. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. No matter how much my family will try to console her, she'll always be alone in the end. Nobody will ever understand her grief and loss, and I'm okay with paying the ultimate price if it means that my wishes will come to fruition.

 

[drraculaurra]

Is that your only reason? If dying had no impact on her would you still actively want to ctb?

 

[EternalShore]

oh dear... I get that she must've been very evil and stuff for you to want to do that to her but if that's truly why you want to do it, you may think it's not, but that doesn't sound like your own choice but her continued manipulation over your life~ :( Perhaps you could just move as far as you can from her and close all contact~

 

[Roadrunner]

I agree with no letter. Let them wonder for ever IMHO.

 

[prone2fury]

I relate a lot to this. I've thought about leaving a note that explicitly says that it's my mom's fault that I'm dead, and that I hope she hates herself for the rest of her life. It's a wonderful feeling, knowing that even if you have no power over others in life, you may have some in death. Hot take, but abusive parents deserve all this pain and more.

 

[davidtorez]

It sounds a bit strange. If she's that bad and evil would she care if you're dead ? Or does she depend on you solely for company? Isn't there a better way to get back at her than ending your life ?

 

[Gangrel]

Just my two cents, after you die, it's over, it doesn't matter if your mom is traumatized, you won't be here to experience none of it, maybe she will or maybe she won't, after you die you simply cease, there will be no satisfaction or no gotcha.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

My reasons for wanting to CTB don't only revolve around a desire to find eternal peace. I want to traumatize my scumbag mother and make her regret bringing another life into this world. My death will haunt her indefinitely, and she'll never fully be whole again. She'll get a taste of all the mental anguish I've been dealing with for years on end, but I won't be there for her to bitch and moan to.

She won't even receive closure in the form of a letter. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. No matter how much my family will try to console her, she'll always be alone in the end. Nobody will ever understand her grief and loss, and I'm okay with paying the ultimate price if it means that my wishes will come to fruition.

Yes, yes, yes! I want my parents to rot from guilt. To become shadows of themselves, eaten alive by regret. I consider leaving a letter though, telling them how much I hate them and how THEY led me to this, just to twist the knife in the wound harder.

Just my two cents, after you die, it's over, it doesn't matter if your mom is traumatized, you won't be here to experience none of it, maybe she will or maybe she won't, after you die you simply cease, there will be no satisfaction or no gotcha.

At least I would feel satisfaction just before I died, knowing I will drag them down to hell with me. If I am dead the rest of their lives are gonna be mental torture and guilt. I won't go out just like that, no.

I relate a lot to this. I've thought about leaving a note that explicitly says that it's my mom's fault that I'm dead, and that I hope she hates herself for the rest of her life. It's a wonderful feeling, knowing that even if you have no power over others in life, you may have some in death. Hot take, but abusive parents deserve all this pain and more.

Agree with you so much

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

Is that your only reason? If dying had no impact on her would you still actively want to ctb?

Oh, absolutely. At the end of the day, I still want to get out of here. I've been a dead man walking for almost a decade. Enough is enough.

It sounds a bit strange. If she's that bad and evil would she care if you're dead ? Or does she depend on you solely for company? Isn't there a better way to get back at her than ending your life ?

We only have each other. She's a single mother and lives alone with me as her only company. In her own tearful words she told me that "my death would break her." But oddly enough, her actions rarely matched her words. Either way, I'll be happy to kill two birds with one stone. And regardless of whether she'll be sad or not, I still want to get out of here anyway. My life sucks in general.

Just my two cents, after you die, it's over, it doesn't matter if your mom is traumatized, you won't be here to experience none of it, maybe she will or maybe she won't, after you die you simply cease, there will be no satisfaction or no gotcha.

Hey man, I'll consider dying as a win either way. I hate it here.

 

[cryptoinvestor]

I'm sorry to say this, but if she is a narcissist, she will not truly care. She will turn your death to be all about her, so that people people feel sorry for her. It will be her biggest pity party, she will get a lot of narc supply from it. It will be like oh poor me, look at me, pity me, I had a mentally ill child, i tried my best, I couldn't save them, it hurts so much to lose a child I sacrificed so much for. She may exploit the situation financially too; "please donate to my gofundme so I can bury my troubled baby".

Narcs only care about themselves and believe the world revolves around them

It sounds a bit strange. If she's that bad and evil would she care if you're dead ? Or does she depend on you solely for company? Isn't there a better way to get back at her than ending your life ?

I agree it's strange but I also relate to feeling like doing it as revenge. But the sad truth is abusive parents do not care, my mother actually wants me to die, she loves to hear bad news about me and is not happy when I achieve anything outstanding, in that case, she wants to take credit for it. So either way, I lose and I am invisible. I am just an extension of my mother, not an autonomous individual, it sucks